Text/Dahui
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The biggest difference between love and marriage is that love is only a matter of two people, while marriage is a matter of two families.
From the moment the two of you decide to enter into marriage, it means that you are no longer just two independent people, but also mixed into the relationship between the two children, and it is not only the feelings of the two of you that need to be dealt with, but also the relationship with both parents, brothers and sisters.
The reason why it is difficult to go on with too many feelings in the end is not that the two parties do not love, not that the feelings of the two people have changed, but because the relationship between the third party has not been handled well, and it is because of the mixing of the two families, resulting in a rift between each other, and it is too tired to be together, so you can only choose to end.
I used to think that as long as two people love each other, they can resist all kinds of difficulties, but later I found that in real life, there are all kinds of obstacles, and it is precisely these obstacles that finally crush love and make love fragmented.
Don't think too simply of marriage and don't overestimate the feelings of the two of you. Sometimes you believe in true love, only to find out in the end that it is actually not worth some other relationships.
A lasting and stable marriage is not only a matter of two people, but also three people who play a vital role in it. If you don't handle these relationships well, even if the two of you have a good relationship, it will be difficult to go to the end.
Mother-in-law relationship
Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a major problem, few mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can maintain good contacts, and it is easy for both sides to have contradictions, and once the contradiction is prominent, it will affect the relationship between husband and wife.
Originally two complete strangers, because of a man, they were involved and became a family. In each other's cognition, this man is the most important person in the world, and they all want to fight for sovereignty in him, so contradictions breed.
For the mother-in-law, it is difficult to raise her son to become an adult, she wants the child to be able to stay by her side and serve herself, and hopes that in the mind of her son, she can thank herself for her efforts, and will not affect her son's feelings for herself because of the relationship of a foreign woman.
For the daughter-in-law, the in-laws are, to a certain extent, strangers in general, after choosing this man, they choose to enter what kind of family, no matter how kind the daughter-in-law's personality is, re-integration into a family, in the end how inconvenient it is, so it will pour all the strength into the man, hoping that the man will become his own backer and become a bridge to help him open up the relationship between the in-laws and the family.
Both are too much energy on men, it is easy to have confrontation, some mother-in-law is more sensible, will not mix too much with the relationship between husband and wife, encounter some do not know the balance of mother-in-law, will frequently mix between husband and wife, affecting their feelings.
The mother-in-law in "Double Sided Tape" is a person whose hands are too long, she frequently inserts into the husband and wife, has a lot of words for the daughter-in-law, often provokes the relationship between the husband and wife, repeatedly stimulates the contradictions between the two, and finally instigates the son to act on the daughter-in-law, resulting in tragedy.
There are many originally sweet little couples who are because the mother-in-law intervenes too much, and in the end, the success affects their feelings, resulting in dispersion. If you want to marry for a long time, you must deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law to reduce intervention, the daughter-in-law to be more tolerant and tolerant, and men to do a good job of glue to ensure that the marriage continues.
Sister-in-law relationship
It is said that "the more the mother-in-law looks at her son-in-law, the more she likes it", but in fact, it is not always the case.
For the mother-in-law, the daughter is the treasure she holds in the palm of her hand, in their eyes, what kind of man is not worthy of his daughter, even if the man does a good job, they will be very uneasy about handing over their daughter to him.
However, their minds can be understood, after all, raising such a big daughter, to give it to someone else's family, there is always a lot of reluctance and reassurance. They don't want much, as long as the other family can treat their daughter well, as long as the man can not let her be wronged, they can get along with each other calmly.
It's just that if she didn't agree to the marriage at the beginning, she wouldn't be satisfied with how her son-in-law looked at it.
The marriage between Gu Xin and Ge Yue in "Heart Residence" was not very agreeable from the beginning, and she did not look at Gu Xin's parents when they first met, they did not see the world. The two doors are not right, the marriage is also the woman's contribution, in the eyes of Ge Mu, the daughter is married, Gu Xin's family can climb their own family this relative, is to burn high incense.
Therefore, in front of Gu Xin, she always tried every means to summon him, did not give him the respect and equal treatment that should be there, it seems that she is giving Gu Xin a horse and giving her daughter a blow, but she forgets that her behavior will only make her daughter embarrassed in the middle, since the wood has become a boat, it should be let go and let the little two go to their own lives, and should not interfere from it and affect the relationship between their husband and wife.
If you want to deal with the relationship between sister-in-law and son-in-law, the mother-in-law should have less guidance and interference, and the son-in-law needs to spoil the wife with practical actions, which is the greatest comfort for the mother-in-law.
Sister-in-law relationship
After many women marry into the in-laws' family, they not only have to face the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also face the relationship between sisters-in-law. And many times the eldest sister-in-law is often the biggest obstacle affecting the relationship between husband and wife.
In "Heart Residence", Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Qingyu are the relationship between the tip of the needle and Mai Mang. In Gu Qingyu's mind, Feng Xiaoqin is an ambitious, calculating woman, and the reason why she married her brother Gu Lei is to get a foothold in Shanghai. After getting married, she also tried to find ways to get benefits from herself, forcing Gu Lei to advance and buy a house for the little tiger, all for her own selfish desires.
She looked down on Feng Xiaoqin from the bottom of her heart, and she had always been guarding against her, afraid that her brother would suffer losses, and she had been constantly giving advice to her brother, frequently pointing out the relationship between the two of them.
In the end, she also indirectly killed Gu Lei because of her guidance, and if it were not for her repeated provocations, I am afraid that their family would not have become like that.
No matter how good the relationship between sisters and brothers, when one party gets married, it is necessary to learn to take the initiative to quit, and should not point out the other party's family too much, which is the awakening that should be had as a brother and sister.
As a wife, you must also have a certain sense of proportion and boundary, do not add too much trouble to the big sister (little sister-in-law), they have the ability, they have no obligation to help you, only by grasping the scale of it, can we ensure the harmony of the family.
Marriage is not easy, because in addition to dealing with the disappearance of feelings and the change of sincerity, we must also do a good job in the relationship between the two families, if we do not maintain the above relationships, even if the feelings between husband and wife are good, it is difficult to go on for a long time.
The maintenance of any relationship is not a matter of one person, but requires mutual understanding and mutual understanding on both sides to maintain harmony.
Since they have all become a family, they need to be a little more tolerant and tolerant, not overly calculating, to grasp the sense of boundaries and proportions that should be there, not to do things that cross the line, not to interfere too much in the behavior of others, so that the family relationship can be happy and harmonious.