When I went back to my hometown and was idle and nagging with my neighbors, I heard their views on the middle-aged couple sleeping in separate beds.
Everyone agrees that sleeping in separate beds represents the breakdown of the couple's feelings, even if it is a quarrel, there is a bedside quarrel and a bedside quarrel, there is room and opportunity for relaxation.
But if you sleep in separate beds, quarrel is also a cold war, and there is no opportunity to talk to each other to ease, feelings will naturally cool down in such a situation.
Therefore, it is not advisable for middle-aged couples to sleep in separate beds.
It is true that a space of less than four square meters will close the spatial distance between each other to a certain extent, and when the distance is closer, the feelings will be closer, the distance will be far, and the feelings will become distant.
However, the feelings of middle-aged couples are different from other feelings, they will experience a "seven-year itch", which requires special treatment in special circumstances, rather than generalization.
Therefore, when couples reach middle age, can they choose to sleep in separate beds? The answer may be different from what you think.
Couples reach middle age and can choose to sleep in separate beds
Mr. Ma Weidu, the director of the Guanfu Museum, once explored an interesting theory in the program, in his view, a good marriage must sleep in separate beds until middle age.
And if there is a condition, it is best to have a room for one person, and if there is no condition, it is to put two beds in one room, just like the standard room in the hotel.
Because there are too many problems involved in people reaching middle age:
For example, with the passage of time, marriage has entered a period of burnout, from nothing to say nothing to say, never tired of looking at each other and hating each other;
For example, in the face of a mid-life crisis, things in the workplace make themselves physically and mentally exhausted, and when they return home, they are exhausted and do not want to talk, as long as a person is quiet;
For example, the pressure in life is too great, and it is urgent to need a quiet space to digest their emotions, and they do not want to be disturbed by others, nor do they want to affect the emotions of the other half.
In short, there are too many problems faced by people in middle age, and if the two people are forcibly put together, it will lead to many unnecessary contradictions, and each other may not have a complete ending.
Therefore, it is better to sleep separately, at least to avoid quarrels, to allow two people to think calmly in a quiet space, and to maintain a sense of freshness.
Proper separation will cool down marriages that are too hot
Metal components become particularly fragile when the temperature is too high, and even break with a little force.
At this time, as long as it is soaked in coolant for a while, and then taken out, the performance of the metal components will be much harder than the original.
Sleeping in separate beds is the "coolant" of the feelings of middle-aged couples, and proper separation will cool down the marriage with too high temperature.
Schopenhauer said: "People are like hedgehogs in the cold winter, too close to each other, they will be stinging; too far away from each other, they will feel cold." ”
With the passage of time, the feelings between middle-aged couples will dilute the initial freshness because of time, and they can no longer get acquainted with each other, and they can no longer dig out new things about each other.
At this time, people will have a sense of disgust because of the marital burnout period, feel how the other party looks unpleasant, and would rather hang out after work than go home.
Such a marriage has already had a crisis, and it needs to be handled in a specific way, and sleeping in separate beds can achieve this effect.
The marriage of two people is like a car, and on the way forward, the car will always be damaged because of the long distance or the use of too long.
And what we have to do is to fix it as much as possible, not to change a car, or to ignore it.
A hundred years of repair to cross the same boat, a thousand years to repair a sleep together, to cherish the people in front of you, to manage the marriage well, so as not to waste the husband and wife.
Middle-aged couples sleep in separate beds, which can improve each other's "sleeping quotient"
Like emotional intelligence and IQ, sleep quotient is equally important.
If a person's sleep quality is good, his (her) whole person's mental state will be very good, and when the mental state is good, people's enthusiasm will also increase.
When a person's sleep quality is very poor, his (her) heart is also irritable, the emotional management will be out of control, and the processing of things will not concentrate on their own attention.
In middle age, due to the aging of various functions of the body, the quality of people's sleep is not as good as before, and because of this, at this stage of middle age, it is more important to sleep in separate beds to ensure that each other have a good sleep quality.
Forcibly sleeping together, only because of different sleep habits and tossing and turning, and do not know how to say, can only try to endure.
Patience is not a good way to deal with feelings.
As Sanmao said in "Caprice": "Patient women, men rarely look in the eyes, and may also be despised." Patient men, women again say he is useless, just as despised. ”
In order to avoid these problems, sleeping in separate beds is the best measure.
Do not disturb each other, ensure the quality of sleep, and be in a good mood, you will better handle feelings.