Girl in wedding dress at concert: blasphemy love or witness youth?
"Through the "wedding dress" image of the wedding dress, girls can grasp the joint presence with the idol's short physical space on special occasions such as "concert" and "meeting", and implicitly and enthusiastically give themselves the status of a bride."
How would you go on a date with your idol?
Some people choose to turn into a point in the fluorescent sea and express their love with a distant gaze, some choose to walk with their partners to witness the hustle and bustle of the scene to witness the rush of double love, and a group of people choose to put on a white veil for him on the stage to commemorate the brilliance of that night with the most grand beauty.
(White silhouette at the concert)
Unlike the joyful self-indulgence of fans, most netizens cannot understand the behavior of idols wearing wedding dresses, which as the name suggests is a wedding dress that symbolizes marriage and love, how can it be worn casually on other occasions?
Recently, under a hot search topic of "girls wearing wedding dresses to watch concerts will break up", many boys said that they could not tolerate their girlfriends wearing wedding dresses for idols, thinking that they had blasphemed the holiness of love and marriage, so they proposed to break up.
("Wedding dress at concert" causes controversy)
Such a reason for breaking up has caused more girls' dissatisfaction, "wedding dress does not represent marriage", "What is wrong with us putting on a wedding dress for the dying youth?" They tried to strip the rules attached to their wedding dresses and defend their "freedom to dress."
(The "wedding freedom" faction pushes back)
In this public opinion confrontation wrapped in the multi-dimensional topics of "gender", "marriage" and "star chasing", how should we rationally understand the symbolic meaning behind the wedding dress? Is it the preciousness of the beauty of flower marriage that makes opposite-sex couples break the defense, or the preciousness given to idols?
A secret fantasy under a white veil
Fans wear wedding dresses to meet idols, although they can't really become the heroine of a wedding, they also break the passivity of "not being seen" in the past, and find some self-existence in the single-arrow obsession.
The appearance of a group wedding on the hot search comes from a "being seen".
(Wang Yuan concert Guangdong station talking)
In mid-May, singer Wang Yuan's living room carnival tour came to Guangzhou Station, and during the talking session between the concert, Wang Yuan expressed sincere thanks to the fans while specifically mentioning a girl in a wedding dress in the crowd. Although he did not give more evaluation to the "wedding dress", only revealed the surprise and emotion of the moment, the fans at the scene still burst into envious screams, as if at that moment they also hoped that they were the one who wore the white veil and stood out, and could leave a "glimpse of surprise" in the impression of the idol.
Fans' follow-up to idols, as usually, is like looking up at the stars, which is out of reach. Most fans also intellectually acknowledge that there is an insurmountable boundary between real life and idolatry, but still wish they could get closer to the boundary and pick a bunch of nectar from the response of just a few words.
(Fan's flower wedding creation)
The gorgeous and eye-catching wedding dress gives fans the courage to break through the cocoon into a butterfly for a moment: since you can't turn into a star and shine side by side with you, you might as well flap your wings and stop on your shoulders for a moment.
In addition, viewing idols as objects of admiration and fantasizing about holding a prince-princess-like dream wedding with idols has become a "secret" hidden in the hearts of most star-chasing girls that dare not be declared.
(Girl wears wedding dress to idol)
Through the "wedding dress" image of the wedding dress, girls can grasp the joint presence of the short physical space with the idol on special occasions such as "concert" and "meeting", and subtly and enthusiastically give themselves the status of a bride.
For example, someone pointed out in the comments section that "the wedding dress worn by fans is low in price and rough workmanship, just like the costume worn when you celebrate the house". Fans don't know that this is a self-deceptive play, but it can be exchanged for the emotional satisfaction of "dreams come true" at a very low price, and the experience value obtained seems to be impossible to measure in money.
(A wedding dress that was sold at a low price on a certain fish)
And usually, out of respect for fans, idols on the high platform will also give certain expressions, so that fans' wishful thinking dreams will not completely become cheap bubble phantoms in reality. The response could be a simple verbal thank you or a polite "fit with the show" to pick up a fan's wish and play a romantic ode for her.
(Hua Chenyu and fans of a red yarn)
Returning to rationality, the love pinned on idols is a more illusory projection than the mentality of "appreciation" and "learning". According to Lacan's doctrine of the Three Realms, fans' worship of idols is essentially a "self-imagination", and complex emotions such as fantasy, seduction, and infatuation are projected on the fragments of characters under the magnesium light, rather than the real reality of "ta".
(Fan with brother photo)
It seems that fans who were obsessed with Leslie Cheung in the past froze all their love beliefs in wedding photos with idols, and in reality they never married. Others can't blame fans' choices, but idols may not be willing to bear such a heavy and illusory "love debt".
Freedom of Wedding Dress:
Break the definition of materialization through youth
It is undeniable that not all fans understand the act of "wearing a wedding dress" as a fictional wedding of "marrying an idol". Especially after it evolved into a collective act among fans, the personal feelings projected in it were diluted, and emotions that could more resonate with the same people, such as "commemorating youth" and "freeze beauty", were stimulated.
(Teenage Girl's Youth Declaration)
In a short video with more than 10,000 likes, a girl who has liked Wang Yuan for several years described the moment she wore her wedding dress, remembering the bits and pieces on the way to chasing stars, especially the moment when she was healed by the positive energy of her idol. "At that moment, I was like a princess, not towards the groom, but the inferiority and simple self in my memory, and I patted her just to say 'youth goodbye'."
In this context, girls widen the meaning dimension of the wedding dress, so that it is not limited to the use of "wedding", but as a broader symbol of "beauty", "ritual" and even "self".
("Ten Miles of Red Makeup" comics)
But in the traditional social vision, the wedding dress has always been equivalent to a diamond ring, symbolizing the solemn promise that both parties to the marriage give to each other. In the past, women were also very solemn about the wedding dress, "ten miles of red makeup, phoenix crown and curtain, wearing Han family neon clothes, marrying a heart for the child", the wedding dress condensed the woman's satisfactory love for the person she loved, and pinned on the beautiful yearning for marriage life.
In the current online sound field, women's deconstruction of wedding narratives does not completely deny the cultural meaning of all wedding dresses. They still agree with the holiness and sincerity of love under the white clothes, and what they want to strip off is the backward concept of marriage attached to the wedding dress.
(Girls refute the traditional definition of wedding dress)
Especially those marriage shackles that seem to be conventional, put on women, such as "the bride is the most beautiful and happiest appearance in a girl's life", let unmarried girls foresee the consumption of marriage on women's beauty and the constraint of freedom, aggravate their fear of marriage, and even the wedding dress has become a prison clothes, dazzling and dignified.
In fact, the "de-uniqueness" of the use scene of wedding dresses has become the norm in the lives of girls in the new era. Many girls will wear wedding dresses at graduation parties and graduation photos to say goodbye to their meaningful student days; Girlfriends will also wear wedding dresses, take photos together, and cherish every important companionship of life with pure white beauty. Anita Mui also put on a wedding dress for herself at the last concert, but she was missing in the confession of "marrying music and fans".
(Anita Mui marries music and fans)
From this point of view, the deconstruction of the wedding narrative may mean the establishment of a more mature view of marriage. Women do not have to be imprisoned by feudal concepts such as "wearing a wedding dress only once in a lifetime" and "shame of second marriage" similar to "chastity archway" and "virgin complex"; Men do not have to worry about the heavy material burden of the wedding, after all, the meaning of "uniqueness" is stripped away, and the wedding dress is also out of the logical chain of high-premium marketing. This deconstruction seems to allow both men and women to work together to break through the materialization of marriage and feel each other's emotional giving with new standards.
But the irreconcilability of real contradictions lies in the fact that such rational narrative deconstruction often only exists in debates and slogans, and it is difficult to achieve mutual understanding and conceptual change in real scenarios.
The boys can't understand the girls' "double standard", why they shout at the concert that "the wedding dress is not important, just a beautiful dress", but when they really prepare for the wedding, they point to the expensive skirt and say "the wedding dress is only worn once in a lifetime, you must buy me the most expensive"; Girls also can't understand the boys' "inconsistency", why they attach importance to the faithful promise of "one lifetime and one couple" symbolized by the wedding dress before marriage, but slowly forget the vow after marriage, and there is no lack of "chaos and abandonment".
It can be seen that the best way to achieve true freedom of wedding dress and reverse the backward concept of marriage is not to give a new definition of wedding dress in the name of youth, but to change bad habits such as objectifying marriage and belittling promises on the basis of mutual understanding between the sexes.
Dead love, don't let the symbols pay
Returning to the "star-chasing and wearing wedding dress" event itself, the controversy surrounding the wedding dress seems to be more superficial in symbolic meaning, while ignoring the core of another problem, "star-chasing".
In other words, the real entanglement of boys is not the wedding dress itself, what they care about is who is given the love and cherishing symbolized by the wedding dress in the usual sense? For example, on station B, there are many boys who are not entangled in the use and wearing occasions of wedding dresses, but form a united front to vent their dissatisfaction with the idols favored by girls, and some netizens also use the face of star-chasing girls as Ding Zhen's appearance to express their disdain for this type of "beautiful and talented" traffic.
(Malicious P image on station B)
Especially the boyfriends of some wedding girls, in their eyes, the girl will wear a wedding dress for the idol, which means that the love is divided equally to the idol, and even doubt their position in the girl's mind. Therefore, they emphasized the importance of wedding dresses and publicly posted breakup remarks on social platforms, just to smooth out their inner sourness.
However, not all couples will have a crisis of emotional break due to "wearing a wedding dress for an idol".
In the comment section of a short video, someone asked netizens who publicly supported their girlfriend wearing a wedding dress to attend the concert, "Won't you feel jealous and awkward?" The netizen calmly and peacefully replied: "Jealousy is derived from insecurity, boys and girls can do what they like, please... We have been together for 5 years and have experienced so many things, is the weight in each other's hearts still unclear? ”
The warm and delicate love and trust like spring water wrap each other, and on the basis of full communication, support each other's hobbies, interpreting the most reliable and mature posture of a relationship.
In contrast, there are couples who break up lightly on hot searches. Whether it is a girl who ignores her boyfriend's feelings and prepares a wedding dress to go to the concert without authorization, or her boyfriend twists and domineers, says yes, and turns to mention the breakup, it means that such a relationship lacks basic elements such as communication, tolerance, and trust, even if it does not break out due to "wedding contradictions", it will break due to other frictions in the future.
(What is a drinking couple?) ）
For example, at the same time, the term "wine and meat couple" appeared on the hot search to describe the lack of "deep love ability" in a relationship. Couples can eat a meal, watch a movie, coax daily quarrels with gifts, and maintain sweet peace in trivial entertainment, but once deeper intimate issues such as marriage, long-distance, money, etc., inevitably appear emotional rifts that cannot be bridged. The implication is that neither of them has ever really entered each other's hearts.
(Discussion of "lovers chasing stars" on Zhihu)
Similarly, regarding star chasing, if you can't accept that such "emotional impurities" are rampant, or don't respect each other's bottom line, then such a relationship is fragile, and there is no need to regret; If you value each other's happiness more than your own selfishness, respect each other from the bottom of your heart, and cherish love, "who to wear the wedding dress for" has become a topic that does not need to be entangled.
The reflection on "how to view the emotional dedication of the other half to the idol" is also the only way for a relationship to move from ignorance to maturity and get rid of the "wine and meat temperament".
(Image from the Internet)
 Xinchi Psychology. Idolatry is a narcissistic | Interpretation of "idol" psychology.