Text/Coriander
Received a private message from Ms. Xin, she said that she was very broken and regretted now, but now that her husband ignored her and was unwilling to reconcile with her, she did not know what to do.
Ms. Xin said that their husband and wife relationship was originally good, although there were occasional quarrels, but it did not affect the feelings of the husband and wife.
It is said that husband and wife quarrel, belonging to the "bedside fight and bedside fight", so even if they have a quarrel, there will rarely be "overnight feuds".
The change occurred at a party between The Sim woman and her classmates. It was a few female classmates from middle school who would occasionally get together. Among women, there seems to be no comparison between them, except that they are more economic than their husbands than their children.
However, in addition to these, sometimes women also say that they will have some happy things or troubles in life. Because they are old classmates, they have no worries about good relations.
Once they talked about their husbands and how to reconcile after a husband and wife quarrel.
The female classmate said that every time she quarreled with her husband, she used that aspect to "punish" him. As long as he didn't let him touch it, he immediately panicked, and after that, he rarely quarreled with her, even if he quarreled, he let her go, and sometimes he kept admitting mistakes or coaxing her.
The female classmate said that the man actually cares about this, as long as he uses this method to deal with him, try a hundred times.
Ms. Xin was also very touched to hear it, because her husband's needs in that regard were also very strong, and if she could use this trick to "subdue" him, she would have the upper hand in the future.
So Ms. Xin used this method taught by her classmates in an argument shortly thereafter. Originally, in the past, their husband and wife had an agreement not to affect the "communication" in this regard at any time, and they had been abiding by it for so many years.
Ms. Xin's first refusal made her husband panic, and she ignored him for several days, making him more like an ant on a hot pot.
Finally, in the midst of her husband's incessant apologies and apologies, Ms. Xin let go of her reticence and rejoiced with her husband. After that, her husband treated her better and let her in many things, afraid that she would be angry and not let himself touch.
Ms. Xin feels that this method of her classmates is simply excellent and can be used frequently. So in every subsequent quarrel, she used this method.
Her husband begged her again and again, and even used "force" once or twice. The most recent time, ms. Xin kicked her husband off the bed and yelled at him: "Touch me again, I will sue you for strong-"
Her husband was frightened and slammed the door out. After her husband went out, Ms. Xin felt very regretful, but also felt that men should not get used to it.
Her husband left and did not return until dawn. But from the moment he entered the door, he looked cold and said nothing more to her. For many days thereafter, the couple remained in the Cold War.
Even after reconciliation, Ms. Xin found that the conjugal life between them could not return to the original degree of harmony. Men rarely take the initiative to touch her again, if there is a quarrel, they directly move away from the bedroom and go to the guest room to sleep, without Ms. Xin refusing.
Ms. Xin knew that it was her own words that hurt him, but what she didn't expect was that he was really cold. This was something she hadn't anticipated at all. She thought that men, like the husbands of female classmates, would not have temper in this regard, let alone not touch her.
Unexpectedly, her husband is different from other men, not only has his own temper, but also has a very strong personality, and his wife does not let him touch it, so he really does not touch it.
So, now it becomes very passive for Ms. Xin. She regretted listening to her female classmates, but she could not put the responsibility on the female classmates; she wanted to return to her original state with her husband, but found that the two could never go back.
This kind of cognition made Ms. Xin very painful, and she even thought about divorce, but in the face of a pair of young children, she dismissed this idea.
But Ms. Xin obviously feels that married life is much more boring, and now every day, she is unhappy, not even going to class reunions. She said she didn't know how long she could hold out?
In fact, in the relationship between husband and wife, using that aspect to "punish" men is itself a big mistake. Ms. Xin's female classmates are ignorant, and Ms. Xin is even more confused, and such a result can also be said to be her own doing.
The happiness of marriage is strong and weak, and only I know it best. Different people, the personality is not the same, the work is certainly not the same, the methods applicable to others, put on themselves, different is applicable. This point, Ms. Xin not only did not understand, but also to use it, the result became counterproductive. This is also smart and is mistaken by smart.
Or, what Ms. Xin needs to do most now is to communicate well with her husband and admit her mistakes, so that she can soften the man's heart and make him forgive her ignorance.
If she can't untie the knot in the man's heart, then this marriage may also have a crisis sooner or later, and at that time, it will be too late to remedy it.
Or the man is just angry now, just can't cross that hurdle, taking advantage of the fact that he still has a crush on this family, especially a pair of children in the middle as a bond, Ms. Xin should repair the husband and wife feelings as soon as possible, so that there may be a chance to "break the mirror and return".
You tell me?