What kind of damage can being in an unhealthy intimate relationship do to your body?
Fitness blogger Sakuno gave her answer - 6 uterine fibroids.
In the original, she wrote:
Sukino's narration reminds me of the news that was out of the loop before #Husband scolded his wife who had just had a cesarean section#.
After carefully reviewing the whole thing, the reason behind it is really resentful and poignant.
The woman did not intend to breastfeed, and the doctor unknowingly gave her lactation, but in the middle of the night due to the fever of milk enlargement, the husband wanted to go to the doctor after he found out, but did not find the doctor.
The angry husband turned his finger on his wife, who was crying from pain.
"Are you brainless? You cry me again? ”
The nurse next to her couldn't stand to persuade, "She just finished the operation, and the incision still hurts!" ”
The husband replied inhumanely: "She hurt her to death!" ”
In this way, the mother endured three hours of verbal abuse.
As soon as the post came out, it was immediately on the hot search, and netizens also complained about the mother.
"Children rush to give birth, mothers run to death", from ancient times to the present, who does not know that the birth of a mother is tantamount to walking before the ghost door closes.
Do not want the husband to cry bitterly and feel sorry for his wife's efforts, but at least treat the other party and yourself as a person.
Even ordinary people, scolded for three hours, are easily clouded in their hearts. What's more, the mother who had just given birth to a child had not yet healed, but was cut by another knife by the closest person.
The scar on the stomach will heal slowly, leaving at most a bumpy scar, but those insults and disgusted body language will always be entangled in the mother's heart, difficult to bypass.
I don't know if you have ever thought about it, especially girls: Why do you want to have children?
Do you love him and give him a baby? Or simply want children?
Whatever the reason, I hope that women will understand "what does childbirth mean for women?" before giving birth. ”
Production is a process of escalating endurance values.
This was my first feeling when watching the Korean drama "Postpartum Conditioning Institute".
The heroine Wu Xianzhen, appeared as a flaming red lip, stepped on high heels, and galloped to the airport with a big belly to stop customers and successfully signed.
Even if the amniotic water breaks, he can say goodbye to the customer without hurry, drive to the hospital by himself, and at the same time advise the husband not to be nervous and not forget to take the delivery bag.
In the workplace and in life, she is calm, but she failed in the production link.
The first is pain during childbirth.
Labor pains aside, at least a few minutes to breathe. Once the painless is over or there is no painless fight, Wu Xianzhen describes the process as follows:
"It was a massive animal migration. Thousands of wildebeest and rhinos plop on your stomach and heart. ”
Seeing this scene, we all outside the camera couldn't help but pinch a sweat for her, how much it hurts!
But the doctor told her that she didn't make it right, she had to keep doing it again, and she couldn't bite her teeth, she would bite her teeth off.
Wu Xianzhen, who was full of hideousness, had to grin and croak her teeth, get up half and half again and again, and use force again and again.
What is the limit of pain that humans can tolerate?
It's childbirth!
Nowadays, many maternity hospitals, confinement centers and other places will prepare childbirth experience devices so that expectant fathers can experience the pain of childbirth.
According to the boys who have experienced around them, when the pain level is 1-5, you can talk and laugh, and when you reach level 6, you can't help but shout, and few boys can stick to the highest level, let alone hold on to more than 10 seconds at the highest level.
But when mothers give birth, it's never more than 10 seconds!
Pain is a necessary part of childbirth, but mothers' labor is not only physical pain.
I believe that sisters who have given birth to babies know the embarrassing experience of enema and shaving, which are tolerable in preparation for childbirth.
But the waves of internal examinations, and the scenes of male doctors and interns discussing and opening a few fingers next to the mother, were unbearable.
Wu Xianzhen faced the discussion of the teaching conference and directly said: Are you holding an academic conference?
But in reality, how many mothers can boldly say their discomfort?
Either you don't have the strength to speak, or you are worried that your request will not be appropriate, and you are afraid that the doctor will think you will do it.
Before giving birth, they were all glamorous girls. In production, it is difficult to even say the four words of protecting privacy.
Psychological humiliation, it is difficult to tell her husband, even her own mother just replied, "Everyone comes over like this." ”
It's always been like that, right?
We can obviously have a better mechanism to protect the privacy of mothers, so that painless delivery can enter more hospitals, why do we want the saying "it doesn't hurt to give birth" to become a family heirloom?
Let the old system become the dregs of the times, don't take it out and disgrace people!
After the end of production, Wu Xianzhen said to herself in her heart:
Wu Xianzhen's life is over.
I believe that most mothers resonate deeply with this sentence.
Actor Zhang Xinyi once talked about the differences between himself and her husband Yuan Hong after giving birth to a child in a variety show.
She said: "After having children, I have been strongly transformed.
Before she has children, she can pick up her favorite plays, don't worry about being too far from home, and can go on a trip whenever she wants.
After having a child, her whole person was in a rolling state:
What time does the elderly at home go to the hospital? What does the child eat today? Do I have time to go out and work out today?
After becoming a mother, Zhang Xinyi was occupied by triviality.
But what about her husband Yuan Hong?
Even in the eyes of the outside world, Yuan Hong is a very perfect partner and father, who will get up early to make breakfast for his wife and take the children out to play alone.
But Zhang Xinyi confessed that he still envied Yuan Hong and felt that his life had not changed much.
Yuan Hong can still be curious and enthusiastic about many things, and in her spare time, she can listen to symphonies and do things at her own pace, which is a sharp contrast to her life thinking.
Zhang Xinyi's narration reminds me of Yang Wei's writing in "We":
"I thought I was carrying a child in my belly, but I ignored it. But when I was pregnant with a child, I knew that I had to give everything in my body to this new life. In lower animals, the long achievement of new life is the destruction of the mother. I didn't exterminate, I just hit a seven-fold and everything subtracted. ”
Whether it is a celebrity or an ordinary person, once you become a mother, you have to accept a deprivation of time to spiritual space, your life is slowly occupied by children, time is no longer dominated by you, and even past achievements will slowly disappear, leaving only the title of such and such a mother.
But fortunately, more and more women realize that after becoming a mother, I am also myself, and more women have become "selfish" and no longer child-centered.
Being a mom doesn't have to mean losing yourself.
If we talk about the pain and humiliation brought about by childbirth, we cannot avoid it for the time being;
If in the entanglement of the identity and self of the mother, we still have a period to go;
Then the people who accompany you through this period, women can choose.
Because the pain and humiliation will pass, the self and the child will reach a balance, but the other half's indifference and abuse are deeply imprinted in the heart and are not so easy to disappear.
Whether during pregnancy or after childbirth, the husband's understanding of support is crucial.
When Wu Xianzhen escalated her fight in the workplace, it was her husband who gave her yoga classes, even if a room full of people were pregnant women, he did not have the slightest embarrassment, and would say to the skeptical teacher:
"Don't worry, I'll learn first, go home and teach her well."
When grandparents smile and circle around their grandson, the husband will also say in front of everyone, "My wife is very hard this time." ”
Seeing the hard work and dedication of their wives, respecting their decisions and ideas, and empathizing with their wives' difficulties and grievances, no matter how big the difficulties they encounter, they can carry them.
There is a line in "Beijing Meets Seattle":
"Having a child for a man you love is the happiest thing a woman can do in her life."
But in fact, having a child for a man you love is at best voluntary, and it is worth giving birth to a man who loves you.
So, sisters, don't look for men in the garbage, don't scribble a lifetime because of age and urging.
There are many things in this world that can be urgent, but getting married and having children must be slow~