He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
The fluctuations in the relationship between men and women are not static, but gradually decrease over time.
For example:
When a man first starts pursuing you, he tends to invest quite a bit of time, energy, love, and patience in you.
Because he likes you, is curious about you, and wants to know more about you.
And chased you into the hand, and married you after a few years of love.
After getting married, you find that the love between the two of you is rapidly decreasing, and the passion is gradually missing.
By middle age, there is basically no love between you, and even your married life has decreased a lot.
What does this mean?
Indicates that the attractiveness of feelings is reduced.
The early days of getting along: the woman has a complete treasure in her, and the man explores it with joy and curiosity.
In the middle of getting along: the treasure in the woman, basically explored by the man, his freshness and interest are reduced.
Late stage of getting along: Women have no attraction, making men unable to raise interest and desire for challenge.
See this, do you understand?
After a woman has passed the age of 40, if she still wants to have a high "attractiveness", she often needs to have 3 abilities.
-01
Have "strong social appeal"
What is social attraction?
It can be understood as:
The person's popularity in social relationships, the more attractive the person, the more popular.
When a woman is over 40 years old and has been married to her husband for many years, it is inevitable that her attractiveness in marriage will decrease.
If a woman also assumes the role of a "full-time wife", then her attractiveness becomes even lower.
There is nothing to say with the husband, and there is less and less communication;
Without intimate contact, the feelings are getting weaker;
Unable to empathize, living together is always lonely.
How can this be broken? Women need to improve their social attractiveness.
First: Maintain emotional independence
Truly attractive women are often able to achieve emotional independence.
"I can rely on you or on my own; I can love you and I can keep it cold."
Women should have this awareness: "My feelings for you depend on your attitude towards me." ”
Who says love is what life is all about?
Who says that after marriage, your husband is all in your life?
In addition to marriage and family, in addition to love and husband and wife relationships, women should also have more pursuits and preferences.
For example: develop some hobbies.
Writing, reading, flower arranging, disconnection, fitness and much more.
These are all ways to make women emotionally independent and not overly dependent on men.
Second: Have a stable social circle
In human life, there is not only family affection and love, but also friendship.
In a way, friendship is another form of love.
The reason why the full-time wife is stressed and tormented is because she is basically "disconnected" from the outside world.
No friends, no people to chat with, no time to do what you love.
Women over 40 years old should have several like-minded friends.
Also known as "high-quality social".
What is a high-quality friend?
You can empathize, the three views are similar, no matter who is in trouble, you are willing to help each other as soon as possible.
Even if the marriage is bad, having such friends is also a comfort in your heart.
-02
Have the "ability to make money"
A woman's greatest confidence is not given by men, nor by parents, but by themselves.
What is a woman's strength? It is she who has the ability to make money.
A consulting case comes to mind.
A wife earned 10,000 a month before marriage, which was equivalent to her husband.
In the third year of marriage, she gave birth to her son, and after discussing with the two, she decided to temporarily give up her career and take care of the child at home.
Both parents are working in other places, and the parents of both parties are not in good health and cannot help take care of their children.
Therefore, only one person can take on the role of full-time baby.
But she lost her job, and her status in the family became lower and lower.
The money she saved in her hands has basically bottomed out.
Every time he had to spend money and buy various things for his children, the husband was a little reluctant.
It wasn't until her child was in kindergarten that she went out again to look for a job and earn money.
She secretly decided: "Just this one child." ”
Don't believe any promises that men say.
He said, "It's okay, I can make money to support the family, you can take good care of the children." ”
That being said.
But every time a woman has no money in her hand and wants to buy various things at home, she has to ask her husband for money to spend, and then you know how difficult it is to open your mouth to ask for money.
After all, not every man has a strong sense of family responsibility.
Not every man can understand his wife's difficulties.
If women make more money than men, they have a "more relaxed and confident mentality".
No more anxiety, no depression, no scared by the man's face.
-03
Ability to be "emotionally stable"
After the age of 40, a woman's greatest charm is still expressed in emotions.
Emotionally stable, knowledgeable, and full of aura.
How to achieve emotional stability and empathy?
First: learn to empathize, not reason
What do men really need for middle-aged couples?
It's understanding, it's support, it's praise.
For example:
The husband came home from work with a sad face, it turned out that he had been fired.
At this time, smart women will express understanding, support and comfort, rather than mocking and belittling and saying cool words.
You can say, "It's okay, just take a vacation, take a break at home and find your next job." ”
"After working so hard for the family for so many years, it's time to take a break."
Such a statement is more acceptable to men.
Second: Be able to bring positive emotions to the family, not negative complaints
A woman's personality, temper, and emotions directly determine the happiness of a family.
If the woman is unreasonable, she loses her temper at every turn, and her emotions are very unstable.
Then the character of children who grow up in this family will also be affected.
The wife is in a bad mood, and the husband will not be in a good mood.
Thus, the two are in a state of "opposite".
Constant quarrels and invective, the contradictions in the marriage are intensified.
Home has never been a place to "make sense".
Proper understanding, tolerance, consideration, and praise can make the family atmosphere better.
Summary: After the age of 40, men love such women more
1. Strong social attraction (mystery, emotional independence)
2. Have the ability to make money
3. Have the ability to stabilize emotions
Today's Topic:
In your opinion, what is the greatest charm of a woman?
(Article with picture source network)