On a certain platform, I posted such a content that I thought was a "kind reminder" because I saw many women complaining about their mother-in-law, or when they consulted me, when I dug deep into the cause of the problem, combined with some problems found in life, and then couldn't help but say some words. As a result, a large number of women complained and blamed. It shocked and worried me. I even had a sudden thought, after more than ten or twenty years, after the daughters-in-law have all become mothers-in-law, with their awareness and wisdom, will there still be a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at that time? They should all know how to be mother-in-law, right?
My original text is as follows:
01
Is your mother-in-law really bad? What is her bad motive or purpose?
Those women who accuse their mother-in-law of all kinds of bad things, I want to ask you, does your mother-in-law want his son to be single for a lifetime and not marry a wife? If she spends money to marry you, and all kinds of provocations, making you and your husband unhappy, or even divorced, what is her purpose? When you complain and accuse her, you have to think, why did she do this? What was her motivation for doing so?
When you can't find a motive, don't know what her purpose is, and feel that she is not good for you, have you ever thought about what you do to her? Is there an impeccable place about what you do? Do you really respect her as an elder? Have you ever had love and tolerance in your heart?
Some women, the mother-in-law poured out her heart and lungs, she is still not grateful, no matter how good it is, it is not good. It's really hard to serve my current daughter-in-law. The premise of thinking about the problem is that she is not good to me, why should I be good to her? She doesn't help me, so why should I raise her? Even, blame the man for not helping himself, thinking that he is a person who has lived with her husband for a lifetime, and her husband should be on her side. A woman who breaks up with her husband and mother-in-law, have you ever experienced the heart of a mother? Complaining that men only maintain their mother-in-law and do not defend their own women, have you considered men's feelings?
Women can love themselves, but not too egotistically! Learn to exchange love for love, learn to love Wu and Wu, learn to argue with reason and evidence, and deal with it with a clear conscience! Smart, loving, generous, wise woman, it is difficult to think of unhappiness!
02
Above, I just want to remind those women who blindly complain about their mother-in-law, according to the question I asked, try to jump out of themselves, and reflect or think about where the problem is? Why do you think your mother-in-law is not good? Or is your mother-in-law so vicious in your eyes? When you are really thinking about these problems and looking for reasons, you will find that there may be a lot of misunderstandings, or because of your own negligence, the mother-in-law's misunderstanding is not understood. Of course, it may also be purely a mother-in-law's human problem. After all, there are many sentient beings, each of them is different, and the ideological realm, vision understanding, and conceptual differences all exist.
But I believe that most mothers-in-law should be fine. And in the real life I have come into contact with, the mother-in-law is often the kind of dedication to the daughter-in-law, or trying to help. Some rural in-laws try to get some local specialties to give to the daughter-in-law who has settled in other places to eat, and the daughter-in-law is not necessarily grateful, and she also feels that the mother-in-law is not good. In the process of getting along, all kinds of words hurt and break the heart of the old man. This kind of person really exists. Some people may say that it is all caused by the mother-in-law's bad and the daughter-in-law's dissatisfaction with her. Let's not say whether there was really dissatisfaction before, just talk about things, let's experience it. A mother-in-law has two sons, the younger son rarely returns home in other places, and the eldest son is closer to home in the county town, and he can go back once a month and two months to catch up with the farmers and go back to help with some farm work. The eldest daughter-in-law has various opinions and does not want to return. Every time I go back, I can bring some agricultural products, vegetables and the like. Corn kernels, wheat kernels, flour, garlic, sesame oil, and all kinds of things that you think you can take away are brought with you. Because of the proximity to home, most of these crops planted by the in-laws are eaten by the eldest son's family.
Everyone understands the feelings of parents hurting their children. The younger son rarely comes back in the field, can't eat, and the parents are also uncomfortable, leaving the younger son a little corn kernel, wheat kernel, sweet potato chips, but because the epidemic did not express the past, he let the eldest son take it away. The eldest daughter-in-law came to say, how did not want to send us ah. Oh my God, almost all of these things were eaten for myself, and I blamed my parents for not mailing her. Does this sentence hurt the old man's heart? If you don't eat it, or you don't have the convenience to bring it, if you don't mail it to you, you're weird, but the problem is that you've eaten so much, almost all of them have eaten for you, and you're still saying this. Whose problem is this?
Therefore, I think that the current daughter-in-law is really difficult to serve. In this way, I wrote a text, and the whole article was to let the daughters-in-law reflect on it and find out where the problem was. As a result, such a large piece of complaints, overwhelming, is like poking a honeycomb.
03，
Look carefully, read my content carefully, and it is not necessarily biased towards the mother-in-law. Just to remind those who think that the mother-in-law is not good, when accusing the mother-in-law of all kinds of viciousness, think about the reasons or motives behind the mother-in-law's behavior? Is the mother-in-law really bad character, and deliberately targets the daughter-in-law? Or is it because of the reason that the daughter-in-law is not good enough, and deliberately did it? If you don't find the cause and never solve the problem, then it will inevitably affect the feelings of the couple, and even the marriage. Such a marriage failed, but is it a pity?
I'm not saying it's necessarily all daughter-in-law. If you feel that you are very good, that your mother-in-law is not good enough, you can communicate well, point it out, and argue with reason. There is no need to emotionally make enemies with the mother-in-law, really can't get along, less contact, or even no contact, just let go. There is no need to hate to the bone, it will not help. The only reason I found to misunderstand the copywriting was probably the tone of my speech, right? Is it that series of question marks? They couldn't see the purpose behind the questioning and thought it was an accusation. Is this true?
04，
Look at those comments, find some representative ones, and let's see. Of course, there are also some who understand it, praise me, and give me an evaluation from an objective and fair standpoint. I was slightly relieved. I hope that everyone is sober, objective and calm to face their own problems, and strive to solve problems, I hope that everyone will be happy until they are old in a short life!
"Yes, some mothers-in-law want to reform their daughters-in-law, but this project is so difficult that she finds that she can't do it, so she will slander and suppress them in various ways." She did not respect her daughter-in-law's independent thoughts at all. ”
"Some mothers-in-law are psychologically deformed, and they can't see her son being possessed by others!"
"A month after getting married, my mother-in-law bought us vegetables to buy the kind that no one wanted, saying it was cheap. A month pregnant sent me a bitter sauerkraut that she couldn't eat, said she wanted to buy this and that for me but there was no result, said to buy me a pair of shoes, shoes bought before asking me how much size to wear, she said to buy big, and then there was no result. ”
"When the daughter-in-law takes the child, how can the in-laws not pay and not contribute? What do you say if you haven't even bought a dime? Are you saying that there is no obligation? Own children to give birth to their own? Man, we all compare hearts to hearts. ”
……
Well, there are too many. All afternoon, I painstakingly replied to the message, feeling that there was a problem, and I guided it. It is hoped that they can objectively look at the phenomenon and not be carried away by some emotions. Otherwise, the problem cannot be solved, the husband and wife have a bad relationship, and even make trouble, what is the point?
05
Therefore, when replying to the message, back and forth, I suddenly thought, so many daughters-in-law are dissatisfied with the mother-in-law, presumably this year's daughter-in-law, can feel the daughter-in-law's difficulty, in the future, when they become mother-in-law, is it not to reverse the situation, can be an excellent mother-in-law? Is it not, in another ten or twenty years, this daughter-in-law has become a mother-in-law, there will be no mother-in-law contradiction, there will be no evil mother-in-law? Could that be the case? Let's talk about it, is my optimistic prediction of the future relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law correct?
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