John Gottman wrote in the book "Happy Marriage" that the core of the tension between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the turf war between two women in order to get the love of a man.
Some mothers-in-law in order to rob their sons of love with their daughters-in-law, occupy the most important position in their sons' hearts and do not let go, will try their best to embarrass their daughters-in-law, find trouble for daughters-in-law, treat daughters-in-law as enemies, and even instigate their sons not to treat their wives well.
Ten years to see the mother-in-law and ten years to see the daughter-in-law, you are not kind to the daughter-in-law, after getting old she is not kind to you, this is not called filial piety, this is called karma.
And some mothers-in-law are very smart and know the principles of loving the house and wu. In their eyes, the daughter-in-law is the son's lover and the person on the tip of the son's heart. If you are good to your daughter-in-law, your daughter-in-law will be more satisfied with her husband and better for her husband. Looking at the face of their sons, they are willing to treat their daughters-in-law well.
As Tu Lei said: "Since ancient times, there have been many discord between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it is not necessarily how evil those mother-in-law and sister-in-law are, but they just want the daughter-in-law who has passed through the door to miss the good of her husband." ”
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, and the man will become the biggest winner, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not harmonious, not only will it be difficult for you to get a happy old age, but your son will also be harmed by you.
"I always hear people say that it is impossible for my mother-in-law to be like a mother and daughter, but my mother-in-law has turned these six words into reality, and she treats me as much as my mother treats me."
Meeting a good mother-in-law is the luckiest thing for Yu Xiaoying.
01.
8 years ago, Yu Xiaoying and his college classmate Fang Chen married, because the two people just graduated, the income is not high, even if the parents of both sides take money to buy them a house, they are difficult to bear the huge pressure of repayment, and Fang Chen's parents are locals, bought a house when Fang Chen was in college, therefore, Yu Xiaoying had to live under a roof with her in-laws.
"At that time, I was also worried about getting along with my in-laws, worried that the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law would affect my marriage."
However, after a period of contact with her in-laws, Yu Xiaoying felt that she was still quite lucky, whether it was her father-in-law or mother-in-law, she was very reasonable and amiable, especially her mother-in-law, who had always been very good to Yu Xiaoying.
"My cousin always complained to me about her mother-in-law, saying that her mother-in-law was lazy and lived with them, only to call her to do housework, and also stopped her husband from working together." I was much luckier, I had to grab it with my mother-in-law to have a job, otherwise, my diligent mother-in-law would do everything in advance. ”
The mother-in-law respected Yu Xiaoying very much, and she would definitely knock on the door before entering their room, and would not come in until Yu Xiaoying opened the door. When cooking, because Yu Xiaoying has a light taste and does not like to eat spicy, her mother-in-law will give Yu Xiaoying a dish or two dishes that are not spicy and have a suitable portion every time.
Originally, the father-in-law was used to it, used to smoking regardless of the occasion, since Yu Xiaoying entered the door, the father-in-law was reprimanded by the mother-in-law several times, corrected the habit, and no longer smoked in front of the daughter-in-law.
02.
After 8 years of marriage, Yu Xiaoying gave birth to two daughters, and the father-in-law was quite disappointed and wanted to hold his grandson, but as long as he mentioned it once, he would inevitably be scolded by his mother-in-law.
"Who has the final say when it comes to boys and girls?" God has the final say. You want to hold your grandson, right, you go to God, tell God, let you have a grandson, you see God doesn't you? ”
"What's up?" You hate women? You mean, you've abandoned me, right? You hate your mother too, don't you! How did you jump out? Nagging again, let my granddaughter be wronged, you live alone, where cool and where to stay. ”
"Do you want the third elder, let them look at the little two and do it, what is the matter with you?" Flash aside to go. ”
The mother-in-law did not dislike Yu Xiaoying for giving birth to two daughters, and did her best to serve Yu Xiaoying to confinement, help Yu Xiaoying take care of the children, and dress up the two granddaughters very beautifully, and Yu Xiaoying was also very grateful to her mother-in-law.
"My mother-in-law not only disciplined her husband, but also helped me train my husband. My husband rarely argues with me, just because he knows, there is a presence, he can't win the argument, haha. ”
What really made Yu Xiaoying sigh that her mother-in-law was like a mother-in-law and vowed to treat her mother-in-law as a mother-in-law was that some time ago, Yu Xiaoying's mother was required to undergo surgery, and her mother-in-law's actions really made Yu Xiaoying break her defenses.
03.
Yu Xiaoying's mother is suffering from cancer, although it was found early, timely treatment can have a great chance to prolong life, but Yu Xiaoying's mother considers the economic situation of the family, is not willing to drag down her beloved daughter, does not want treatment, and urges Yu Xiaoying to give up.
However, it was a mother who gave birth to herself and loved herself, and Yu Xiaoying could give up? During this period, Yu Xiaoying was saddled with tremendous mental pressure.
"My dad didn't want to give up, so he took out all his savings to treat my mother's illness, but it was still not enough, so he had to borrow money everywhere." However, my family's relatives and friends all know that this is a bottomless pit, there is no repayment, unwilling to borrow money, and also persuade us to give up. ”
Seeing that the daughter-in-law was upset about her mother's illness, Yu Xiaoying's mother-in-law gave 80,000 pension money to her daughter-in-law to help her save her mother, telling Yu Xiaoying: "I thank her, let me have a good daughter-in-law, that is your mother, since there is hope, let's fight it!" ”
"Really, when I got the 80,000 yuan, I really thanked God for letting me meet such a kind mother-in-law." I swear that I will repay this kindness, I will definitely let her live in peace in her old age, and she will be one more daughter! ”
At present, Yu Xiaoying's mother's condition has been controlled, and the situation has improved a lot. Yu Xiaoying still lives with her in-laws, and her relationship with her mother-in-law is more intimate, almost nothing.
After listening to Yu Xiaoying's story, the ladies around who have been married feel very envious, and some people joke that the luckiest person is actually Yu Xiaoying's husband, who has a reasonable mother and a daughter-in-law who knows how to be grateful, and he can be described as a winner in life.
04.
Tu Lei said that the best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, between mother-in-law and son-in-law, we must do two sentences, regard it as our own care, and treat each other as guests.
Regard as your own love, that is, your son is a son, and the daughter of others is also pregnant in October, why do you say that my son I pulled the big one, although the people are two pulling big, it is also the flesh that fell from the body, you have to hurt two as much, and even more pain to your own daughter-in-law. The heart should be treated as a relative, but it must be done as a guest.
To be a mother-in-law and to be kind to her daughter-in-law is to be kind to her son. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is harmonious, and men have no worries and can work hard with peace of mind. For the sake of your son, you should also be kind to your son's sweetheart.
As a daughter-in-law, if you meet a good mother-in-law, you must cherish the blessings, you must honor the in-laws, you should not shirk what you should do, you cannot enjoy the good of the in-laws with peace of mind, and when you need to pay, I have no obligation. People who do not know how to be grateful cannot keep their happiness.
END.
Xiao Qiqi asked you to comment: Do you have a good mother-in-law around you? Feel free to share your story in the comments section.