01
Many women always think about how to integrate into their in-laws' families after marriage, they are afraid of being treated as outsiders by their in-laws' families, and their most chilling thing is that their in-laws' families treat them as outsiders. There is also a saying about the sadness of married women: the mother-in-law's family cannot be integrated, and the mother-in-law's family cannot go back.
I couldn't understand why married women had to integrate into their in-laws. Isn't it good to be an outsider?
Why don't I want to be close to my in-laws? I always keep my distance from my in-laws' family, and I never mix up their family affairs. It's better for women to worry less, you rush ahead of your husband in the affairs of your in-laws, often you ask for your own hardships, and there will be no benefit.
Therefore, many things have to be looked at from a different angle, being treated as an outsider is not necessarily sad, you can save a lot of trouble.
Ms. Zhang has recently realized the benefits of being treated as an outsider by her in-laws' family. She had been troubled before, but after this incident, she completely figured it out, what is it good to be treated as an outsider, what does their family's affairs have to do with me?
Ms. Zhang's husband has a sister 4 years younger than him, who got married quite early, or married far away, and her mother-in-law naturally felt very sorry for her daughter's difficulty. She usually does not expect her daughter to come back, but hopes that her daughter can have a better life after marriage, which is also a common human feeling.
"Buying a house" is the trigger.
Since last year, her sister-in-law has been looking at houses, and in order for her children to go to a good elementary school, she started the idea of buying a school district house. The sister-in-law also knocked on the side and said to Ms. Zhang: "Sister-in-law, when I buy a house, you can help me." I also heard about our parents' money, and their savings can be given to you as a bride price. When I need to use the money, borrow my bride price money first. When I have money, I will pay you back as soon as possible. ”
The sister-in-law's words made Ms. Zhang displeased on the spot.
My bride price money has begun to beat my idea of bride price money.
At the New Year, my sister-in-law finally came back to be happy, because of what she said, Ms. Zhang has not had a good year.
After the end of the year, my sister-in-law took a fancy to a school district room, and the phone called, and it happened that it was 200,000 yuan.
First of all, my husband discussed with Ms. Zhang: I am this sister, what a big deal it is to buy a school district house, she lacks money, I can't not borrow it. I'm an older brother, and I have to look like an older brother. Isn't it 200,000? That money was originally given to you by our family, and now when we need to use the money, what happened to you and us.
Ms. Zhang was unmoved.
The mother-in-law came to persuade her again: "We are all a family, we should help each other, when you said you wanted 200,000 bride price, my father and I had no money or borrowed money from relatives and friends to save enough, and we paid back money to relatives and friends later." Now we can't do it, my daughter is in trouble, you take the money to help. The family borrowed 200,000 yuan, and besides, she will pay you back this money. ”
For this, Ms. Zhang said: "I am an outsider. ”
Family? To put it nicely, when did you treat her like a family?
When the sister-in-law came back, there was something delicious, and the mother-in-law must have kept it for the sister-in-law. She can understand, after all, when a mother hurts her daughter, this is what she should do, but the problem is that when something happens, their family closes the door and says, and when she goes in, she immediately stops talking.
I never think about her when I have benefits, and when I need to borrow money, I remember the original 200,000 bride money. It's ridiculous. Is there any reason to get back the bride price money given? Since the bride price is mine, what does it have to do with them? Ms. Zhang made up her mind not to borrow, even if she divorced her husband, this money could not be borrowed.
In fact, there is another main reason why Ms. Zhang does not borrow money: if she can't pay it, what can she do with her? The sister-in-law is her husband's own sister, and when the time comes, their family will definitely unite against her. She only has these 200,000, in order to keep it for her emergency use in the future, in case something goes wrong in the marriage, there are still 200,000 bodies.
02
Let's discuss: the sister-in-law has to borrow 200,000 bride money from her sister-in-law to buy a house, can this money be borrowed?
I agree with Ms. Zhang's approach and cannot borrow it anyway.
For women, marrying into the mother-in-law's family, whether it is to deal with the relationship with the mother-in-law, or the relationship between the aunt and sister-in-law or the relationship between the mother-in-law, for the affairs of the mother-in-law, do not be too enthusiastic, too much, let alone rush ahead, otherwise it is easy to go wrong.
In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many women are very afraid that their husbands will not be able to carry it. In fact, have you ever wondered what is the main reason for not being clear? It's because you have taken on too much yourself, but your husband can't experience it, and you can't empathize at all.
I've always flattered a point of view:
Between husband and wife, each family handles their own affairs
。
Since it is your husband's own family, what does it have to do with you? If you have money, you can buy a house, you can not buy it if you don't have money, you can't control who they find to borrow money, but your 200,000 must not be moved.
They talk excessively, what is called "this money is their family", give is giving, and take it back. If you really take it back, is this marriage even divorced. One thing is one thing, and you must not talk about the previous things now, and Ms. Zhang's mother-in-law is too unclear at this point.
In the affairs of the in-laws, the daughter-in-law should not force her head, otherwise there will be no good fruit to eat.
200,000, they can think of ways to raise it, the reason why they are not willing to raise it is because from the beginning they feel that the 200,000 in your hand is their family's, and one day they will have to take it back to give them their family. This is obviously very unreasonable, you must keep your own boundaries, do not easily take out your own bride money.
Tell them in a word: you outsider can't help.
You have these 200,000 in your hand, and they don't dare to go too far with you, if they really make you angry, 200,000 won't they fly. Their behavior has shown that they care a lot about money, and they care more about you for money's sake.
There is nothing to be afraid of, just resolutely do not take it.
Your money, you also have the right to decide.
After a woman gets married, there is no need to integrate into the in-laws' family, and she cares less about their family's affairs, especially in terms of money, you manage your own, and you do not mix with other people's.
Women don't worry too much, don't care about the affairs of the in-laws, more are left to the husband to deal with themselves, and you will also end up clean. You must know that it is not thankless to contribute, it doesn't hurt to be fine, and when there is something, it is always you who suffers.
END.