01
According to the old tradition, marriage is married by the man, the woman is married, everything is mainly based on the man, and the children born also belong to the man's family. It is only natural that the child is brought by the mother-in-law because the man's surname is the man's family.
But now times have changed, and marriage should be a couple of men and women who break away from their respective original families and establish their own small families. There are many families with only children, whether the daughter is married or not, the future parents' property is still left to the daughter, and the daughter must also give the parents a pension to send the end.
Therefore, if a man marries an only child, he cannot use the old traditional concept of treating his wife and parents-in-law. Now that men and women are equal, there should no longer be a concept of male superiority over female inferiority. Women should be kind to their in-laws, men should also be filial and respectful of their parents-in-law, and both husband and wife should be mutual, take care of each other and be considerate of each other.
02
The wife is the only daughter in the family, and after giving birth to the child, the mother-in-law is reluctant to come and take the child. The parents-in-law came to the daughter's house and paid for it to help with the children. After 6 years, the mother-in-law came to live in the son's house, the son drove the parents-in-law away, and the daughter-in-law filed for divorce.
This is what happened in Zhu Chengqian's family, and now she is divorced from her ex-husband, who lives with her mother-in-law. She took the child to live with her parents, who still helped her with the child, and her ex-husband came several times to ask her to remarry, but she refused.
Self-narrator: Zhu Chengqian
Age: 36 years old
Occupation: Advertising agency salesman
City: Wudalianchi
03
I am the only daughter of the family, and my parents have loved me since I was a child. My grandparents also loved me very much, always saying that the family's property would be mine in the future, and I would also give my parents a pension to the final wait. When I was in college, my grandparents passed away one after another, and I was sad.
After graduating from college, I went to work for an advertising agency, and my parents urged me to find someone quickly. My parents wanted to recruit a son-in-law for me, but our generation is an only child, and there is a son in the family, how can they be willing to let their son come out as a door-to-door son-in-law? So it's hard for me to find a partner.
After two years, my parents lowered their requirements and told me that they didn't have to recruit a son-in-law, as long as the young man was of good character and in love with me. My parents were afraid of delaying my youth in order to recruit a son-in-law, so the old couple figured it out.
Later, I met my husband at work, who came here to work from out of town and was the only son in the family. The two of us fell in love at first sight, it was a two-way love to each other, and the parents of both sides were also in favor of this family affair.
After more than a year of dating, my husband and I got married, and the marriage house was bought by both parties in a joint venture. After marriage, my husband and I lived in the new house, and both parents lived in their original home. The second year after marriage, I gave birth to a daughter, and my husband wanted my mother-in-law to take care of me, but my mother-in-law did not want to come, for a number of reasons.
04
My mother-in-law did not come to take care of me, so my mother came, and my mother was very willing to take care of me. After my maternity leave, my mother helped us with the baby for a long time. In this way, my parents became separated, and I felt that it was not good, so I took my father and let them take the children together.
At that time, my husband had no problem, my parents had retirement salaries, and they were in good health, helping the family to do various things. The family's food and utility bills, etc., are all paid by my parents, and they think that their money will be our little couple sooner or later anyway, so they are not stingy with us at all.
In the blink of an eye, my parents have been helping us with our children for 6 years. I am grateful to them for their money and efforts, but my husband does not think so, as if he should be like this. In these 6 years, my in-laws have not given us a penny, and my husband always has to give them money, and my heart is really a little unbalanced.
My mother privately advised me not to worry about it, for my in-laws, my son was not around, and all they could rely on was money. I think my mother is right, so she always acquiesces to my husband's behavior and does not bother with my in-laws.
Later, my father-in-law fell ill and died, and my husband and I went to take care of the aftermath. After the father-in-law's affairs, my husband brought my mother-in-law to our house, and I thought that my mother-in-law had come to live temporarily for a few days, who knew that she was going to live here for a long time.
05
My parents live here, my mother-in-law also lives here, first, the family can't live, and second, so many people live together, there will definitely be contradictions. Therefore, I proposed to let my mother-in-law live for a few days and then go back to my hometown, or let my mother-in-law rent a house in the community.
I didn't expect my husband to have a big fight with me, saying that he was not a door-to-door son-in-law, so why should he live with his parents-in-law all the time? This house was bought by us together, why can't he live here? The mother-in-law is also righteous, thinking that the son she raised, Fu can not be enjoyed by the woman's family, so she must live in her son's house.
My parents offered to go back to their house, but my daughter disagreed. She was used to being taken by her grandparents and did not want to be separated from her grandparents, and I was reluctant to let my parents go, so my husband and I froze.
Our family's house is two bedrooms and one living room, the main bedroom I live with my husband, the second bedroom my parents live, my daughter sometimes sleeps with us, sometimes sleeps with my parents. After my mother-in-law came, I thought she was staying temporarily for a few days, so I let her sleep on the sofa in the living room.
After my mother-in-law came to stay for four days, I went to work that day, and my parents took my daughter to a training class. When we got home, we found that my parents' things had been moved to the living room, and my mother-in-law was living in the second bedroom.
06
I was angry and had a big fight with my husband, who insisted that my mother-in-law live in the second bedroom. When my parents saw the situation, they had to pack up their things and move home, and my daughter was reluctant to let them go, crying and making a lot of noise. My parents had no choice but to take my daughter with them, and they were reluctant to be separated from their granddaughter.
My parents' home was far from the school where my daughter went, and my father rode an electric car to take her to school, which took more than an hour on the road. Send it in the morning, pick it up in the afternoon, then my dad will spend 4 hours on the road every day, how to do it in the long run? So the next day, I had to go and pick up my daughter and bring me home.
Originally, my father was responsible for picking up his daughter to school and buying vegetables by the way, and my mother was responsible for housework. Now after my mother-in-law lives in our house, she can't ride an electric car, so naturally she can't pick up her children to school.
Originally, we didn't have to buy vegetables, but now when we come home from work, we have to go to the market to buy vegetables. After bringing the dishes home, the mother-in-law began to cook, and by the time we ate it was already late. And the meals cooked by my mother-in-law did not meet the appetite of my daughter and me at all, and we did not like to eat them at all.
My parents live in our house, and they pay for food and utilities, but my mother-in-law lives here, and she doesn't pay a penny. So since my mother-in-law moved in, the financial burden on our family has increased, and I am very unhappy.
07
After my mother-in-law lived in our house for a month, one night during dinner, I was really unaccustomed to her cooking, so I threw up. When my daughter saw me throw up, she also threw up, and my mother-in-law was very unhappy, saying that I hated her, so she quarreled with me. In order to protect my mother-in-law, my husband also quarreled with me.
I was so angry that I exclaimed, "Divorce!" There is no way to go by. ”
The husband did not want to show weakness, and immediately said: "Good, leave away!" Who's afraid of whom! ”
In this way, we divorced as quickly as possible, my daughter and the house belonged to me, and the savings went to my husband. My husband took my mother-in-law to rent a house, and I brought my parents back to my house, and they continued to help me with my children and continued to contribute money.
Later, my husband came to me several times in the name of seeing his daughter and wanted to remarry me, but I refused. My parents advised me to remarry, but I think the problem between me and my husband is still there, that is, if I remarry, I will divorce again.
Epilogue:
Families have scriptures that are difficult to read, and it is difficult for officials to judge household chores. Some parents have short things, and it is impossible to say who is right and who is wrong, but everyone's position is different, the ideas are different, and the practices are different.
Everyone wants to be with their relatives, so it is more comfortable and convenient, even if they say the wrong things and do the wrong things, their relatives will not be counted. Zhu Chengqian's heart is to live with her parents, plus her parents' conditions are better than her mother-in-law, so she feels that the reason is very good.
But from her husband's point of view, why wouldn't he want to live with his mother? Living with your in-laws, for your son-in-law, you are not comfortable living with your parents. Besides, he also wants his mother to enjoy the joy of the family, and he also wants to accompany his mother to do filial piety.
In fact, since they are husband and wife, they must be considerate and tolerant of each other, and they cannot only consider their own feelings. As parents, we must think more about our children, know each other in everything, and do not let our children be embarrassed by their parents' problems. It is not easy to become a family, everyone should cherish it, and do not divorce without moving.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.