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There are many people who, after encountering difficulties, can only complain about the world and get by, while others have to bow their heads in the face of difficulties, but their hearts have never yielded, they continue to work hard, believing that they will be able to achieve the final victory. ——Ming Yue", "Those Things of the Ming Dynasty"
What kind of attitude and mentality to use to treat life is optional. You choose to be strong, you are a strong person, you may occasionally bow your head, but you will not admit defeat; you choose to be weak, you are a weak person, a little setback can defeat you.
This is not to say that strong people will never be weak, nor does it mean that weak people will never be strong, and they can choose again after choosing, as long as you are still alive, you have the opportunity to make a new choice.
If you can choose to be strong, don't choose to be weak. Even if you have been weak, this does not mean that you will always be a weak person, you can still become a fighter in life when you pick up your strength again.
The following reader's depression caused by marriage should heal himself by changing his mentality and making new choices.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
My courage was worn out by a marriage.
Many people used to envy me for marrying a rich wife, but I was not happy, because this marriage brought me not "healing", but "depression".
Although she didn't think I was poor, her parents weren't so generous, and they always felt that I didn't deserve her, and they always felt that she wouldn't be happy if she married me.
I was young and crazy, but I made up my mind and vowed to make her happy and make her parents look at me with surprise. But how easy is it!
Today's employment pressure is so great, the competition is so fierce, it is already very good to keep the job, and it is not an easy task to have greater achievements. Especially for people like me who are not very well educated and basic, it is difficult to come to the fore unless they have gone through the luck.
My career has not improved, making me less and less confident. The better my wife treats me, the more I feel inferior. At this time, listening to the voice of my parents-in-law was particularly harsh, and I could not lift my head in front of them.
These problems were enough to make me depressed, but my mother still came to mix with our marriage: "Serve your daughter-in-law well, don't lose the cash cow!" I would say, have a baby early and tie her up so that there is no risk of divorce. ”
She not only said this in her mouth, but also paid a lot of action for it, today because this asks for money, tomorrow because that asks for money.
My daughter-in-law, because she was concerned about my feelings, never said in front of me that I was wrong. But my parents-in-law never hid it, and always angered me because my mother calculated my daughter-in-law, making me not a person inside and out, neither pleasing my parents-in-law, nor making my mother restrain.
Finally, I mentioned the divorce, because I really couldn't hold back. My heart is not so big, I can't sit cheekily and enjoy it, if I don't divorce, I can neither make myself happy, nor can I make my wife happy, this is the result that the naked eye can see, why should I drag the mud and water?
My daughter-in-law respected my choice, and my parents-in-law rejoiced when they found out, which made my heart a little more relaxed. But then my mom hit me hard again.
When she "told me again not to lose the cash cow," I said we were divorced. She scolded me for three days in a row, and even asked me to get the cash cow back for her.
Why can't she care about my feelings? If she wasn't so greedy for money, if she had helped me run my marriage and kept my daughter-in-law in a kind way, would she have gotten the result so far?
I felt that everything was messed up, and all I could feel every day was pain and irritability, not eating well, not sleeping well, and I didn't know how long I could last if I went on like this.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Some marriages, with the function of "healing", can play a role in one plus one equals two or even greater than two effect. Not only can the husband and wife become more and more loving and the life is getting better and better, but also the families of both sides can benefit.
Some marriages, on the other hand, have the function of "depressing", making people feel stressed, making people feel inferior, and even depressed.
The man's marriage belongs to the "depressed" marriage, although from the perspective of the relationship between husband and wife, it is not so bad, but their marriage can not be seen only from the perspective of the relationship between husband and wife, and the parents of both sides have been mixed in. He is already under pressure and inferiority, and he is under more pressure, and it is easy to break through his endurance limit.
In his depressed state, there was nothing wrong with giving up a depressed marriage. His problems are not solved by verbally telling him to "hold on a little longer", because he is not taking on simple stress, but the cause of depression.
His previous choices were passive, and he was crushed before he could be strong. Those things have happened, and the pain will not help. I hope that in the future, he can choose to be strong again, and not deny himself because of the failure of a marriage. Come to Japan, first make yourself strong, in order to remove the haze on your head. From now on, choose to be strong in any situation, and life will not be as sad as before.