Living with or without parents after marriage is a major difference between today's young people and their predecessors.
Young people long for freedom, eager to grow up to no longer be bound by their parents, unwilling to live with their parents, and then be nagged by their parents. The young girl believes that in order to effectively avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, living separately from her in-laws is the most desirable way.
However, many parents are dissatisfied with this, in their view, generations of the same house, children and grandchildren around the knee is the atmosphere that the family should have, after all, they have come this way.
Moreover, in the eyes of these parents, no matter how old the children are, even if they have become parents, they are still children, they cannot take care of their own lives, they are not watching, they are not at ease.
Also, since having children, children have become the focus of parents' lives, many parents revolve around their children for twenty-four hours, accustomed to such days, once they can not continue to live with their children, it is likely to feel lonely.
There is a saying in the TV series "Little Parting": All love in the world is for the purpose of getting together, but the love of parents is for separation.
Life, old age, illness and death are fates that people cannot change, sooner or later, one day, you have to leave your children, you have to let them live independently. If you refuse to let go and always want to impose your thoughts on them, it will only make your children feel suffocated, feel rejected, and only hurt the love between you.
Moreover, no daughter-in-law is willing to let her in-laws interfere in her own life, and is willing to endure her in-laws' 360-degree control without dead angles. The reason why many mothers-in-law and daughter-in-law have contradictions is because the mother-in-law does not know how to let go, which violates the rights of the daughter-in-law.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, and when people reach their old age, they find their own way of life, adapt to loneliness, and give their children and grandchildren the space for freedom, which is both good for you and good for their children and grandchildren.
Aunt Luo is the kind of mother who can't accept living separately from her son, and has been clamoring to move to her son's house, and her son really has no choice but to let her come and live for a while.
Without thinking, she went to her son's house as she wished, stayed for only a week, and took the initiative to make the decision to leave: "As soon as she shouted that her daughter-in-law worked, her son robbed; just spit out a sentence that the daughter-in-law spent money indiscriminately, my son bought gifts for her daughter-in-law, and when she saw the greasy and crooked appearance of the little two, I confessed my fate, hey, I am a superfluous." ”
01.
Aunt Luo, a good wife and mother, is a typical paying mother, and has given all her efforts for her son.
When her son was young, Aunt Luo not only had to earn money with her husband to support the family, provide good living conditions for her son as much as possible, but also take care of her son's living life, care about her son's academic performance, visit teachers at her son's school, give her son psychological counseling, and pour all her efforts.
"When he was in high school, he didn't leave school until ten o'clock at night, he had to continue to do exam papers, he didn't sleep until the early hours of the morning, I slept later than him, and I took care of him and accompanied him all the time."
My son went to college locally, and every weekend he would go home and eat with his parents, until his son went to another city 3 years ago in order to work better, and he met his daughter-in-law there, so he had to stay there and set up a business.
Aunt Luo broke her mouth and did not change her son's decision to stay in that city to work, so she had to agree to her son's request and pay 300,000 yuan to fund her son and daughter-in-law to buy a house.
"Originally, I wanted to take more money, buy a bigger house, and keep a room for our old couple, but my daughter-in-law didn't do it, saying that living with us was not free, and I wanted personal space. Where is there such a disrespectful and disobedient daughter-in-law? My son liked her, listened to her, bought a small three-bedroom, one for the couple, one for the grandchildren, and did not leave a place for our old couple. ”
02.
7 years ago, Aunt Luo's daughter-in-law gave birth to a son, and when she learned that her grandson was born, Aunt Luo was very happy and went to her son's house to wait for her daughter-in-law to sit in confinement and help take care of her grandson.
The mother-in-law came to help herself, Aunt Luo's daughter-in-law was originally very grateful, and also bought something for the mother-in-law to express her heart, but one was a good wife and mother who took care of everything for her husband and son, was reluctant to let her son do a little housework, and could not see her son being wronged, and the other was a young daughter-in-law who was favored by her parents in the palm of her hand, hoped that men would coax her, and did not do much housework.
Therefore, Aunt Luo's daughter-in-law, who is spoiled and habitual, will not do anything, and always bullies her son is not pleasing to the eye, nagging endlessly, the daughter-in-law sees that she adopts a double standard attitude that is not pleasing to herself and her husband's mother-in-law, and she refuses to swallow her anger, and the mother-in-law quarrels every day.
"Mom, you go back, I don't want to blame you because you don't have a wife and children, then I will blame you." When the grandson was two years old, the son sent Aunt Luo back to his hometown to resolve the storm.
3 years ago, the daughter-in-law gave birth to a daughter, originally, Aunt Luo planned to take care of the daughter-in-law and granddaughter again, taking this opportunity to reconcile with the daughter-in-law, but the daughter-in-law did not want to experience the pain of the mother-in-law living under a roof again, preferring to bring her own baby rather than let Aunt Luo pass.
Until the first of May came, the son and daughter-in-law could not go home due to work reasons, and took Aunt Luo and the old couple to live for a while, originally, Aunt Luo wanted to live for a while, but she only stayed for a week, and then decided to leave.
03.
"I found that this family really doesn't need me anymore, and I will only be annoying if I stay, which will not only affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, but also affect the feelings of mother and son, so what do I stay for?"
After Aunt Luo came, she disliked the family environment and planned to take advantage of the holiday to clean up, so she called for her daughter-in-law who was resting to clean up the house together. However, as soon as her voice dropped, her son came out with a broom: "Wife, you watch the children do their homework, and I work with my mother, while working and talking." ”
The son started to work, became a lot sharper, and could not drive away, which made Aunt Luo feel very helpless.
Daughter-in-law likes to shop online, especially when summer comes, the daughter-in-law bought a lot of clothes, and also bought a pair of shoes for more than 1,000 yuan, which made Aunt Luo feel sad and shiver.
"I just said that this shoe is also too expensive, my son took a look at it, asked my daughter-in-law why she bought this pair, did not buy the pair of more than 2,000, said that although the pair is more expensive, but more suitable for her, said that he ordered." What more can I say? ”
However, during this period, Aunt Luo also discovered some advantages of her daughter-in-law. Because the son and daughter-in-law work in a similar nature, the son encounters difficulties in his work, and the daughter-in-law can give him advice from the side. Daughters-in-law will also teach children, and grandchildren are very well-behaved and polite. Compared with a few years ago, the daughter-in-law's cooking skills have been greatly improved, and the dishes she has learned are all the dishes that her son likes to eat.
In the end, Aunt Luo chose to leave her son's home and go home to live her own life, not to add to the blockage of the little two, so as not to ruin this harmonious family of 4.
04.
Someone said: "Parents who never teach their children to be independent are the most ignorant and cruel." They are like eagles who don't teach eagles to fly, but when they become adults, they can't help but push it off a cliff. ”
Without teaching them to be independent, they cannot become true adults and cannot afford their entire lives. Once something happens to you, they who don't understand anything and have long since lost their ability to be independent will not be able to control their lives.
Independence is a step that children must take, it has a very important impact on their lives, parents love their children, then they are far-reaching, cultivate their children's independence, so that they can manage their own lives, is the greatest love of parents for their children.
As for the daughter-in-law, the in-laws only need to understand one truth, that is, she is the person chosen by your son, as long as your son is satisfied.
END.
Today's topic: Would you like to live with your in-laws? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.