The old man went undercover to persuade more than 400 people to give birth: it turns out that children will have so many troubles

People's Daily health client reporter Yang Xiaolu

"Uncle Hai, I'm going to enter the examination room! Give me cheer~" "I won't say these words to my relatives, which means that you are closer than your relatives!" "Daddy Hai, I would have been gone without you for a long time, and I will call you daddy in the future!" Seeing this information, Xu Shihai smiled with satisfaction, he knew that the nights had not been in vain all these years.

These children, who now look sunny, once stood on the edge of a cliff. Xu Shihai found them in the "About Death Group" and pulled them back one by one. On May 9, Xu Shihai told a Health Times reporter that when he first entered the "death group", he could not imagine that the original child would have so many troubles. In four years, he advised more than 400 children, the youngest of whom was only in his 10s.

The children who were persuaded to come back sent their gratitude to Xu Shihai, and the interviewee provided a picture.

I don't want the tragedy to play out in more families

Initially, I wanted to do "persuasion" work because Xu Shihai had a painful experience. In 2020, Xu Shihai's 17-year-old eldest son, Xu Haoyu (pseudonym), committed suicide. In the memories of many relatives and friends, Xu Haoyu is still a sunny and cheerful image. Xu Shihai rummaged through his son's relics and did not find the reason for his suicide. Until his son's classmates told him they had a "not quite the same group."

"My son's classmates told me that this group of adults was not allowed to enter, let me change a small number to enter the group, at that time I didn't even know what a QQ trumpet was." Recalling this experience, Xu Shihai did not want to mention more, he just told reporters that after entering the group, he could only be described by the word shock. All the children in the group are extremely pessimistic, some have emotional problems, some have a bad relationship with their parents, some because of their studies, some because of star chasing...

Children's hardships vary, but one thing is the same, that is, life is like child's play in their eyes, as long as someone tells their recent bad story in the group, someone will ask, "Can you leave?" Jump or not? ”

Xu Shihai couldn't imagine that meeting to kill each other was as simple as saying to smoke a cigarette together.

These children are only in their 10s, and the eldest is only twenty-seven or eight, and Xu Shihai has a deep understanding of how much pain he brought to a family by ending his life hastily at the age of Ruhua. He didn't want his tragedy to play out in more families, so he went undercover in these groups and started the "rescue plan".

To save these children, you must first break into their interior. In order to make them trust themselves, Xu Shihai generally "disguises" as a younger child than them. Xu Shihai told the Health Times reporter that generally find children with signs of suicide, I will first echo them in the group, saying that I have a similar situation, but I am relatively timid, can you take me, because I feel that I am younger, they will consider themselves "comers", it is easier to let down their guard, and they have become friends when they come and go.

Pull back the kids who are standing on the edge of the cliff

This is how Xiao Xuan (pseudonym) was pulled back from the edge of the cliff by Xu Shihai. In order to help him out of the haze, Xu Shihai spent two years.

"I don't want to live anyway, so I'll kill them first, and then kill myself." In the group of deaths, the irascible Xiao Xuan caught Xu Shihai's attention. Xu Shihai immediately added his friend and told him that he also had a similar situation, "I want to ask the great god to introduce the experience."

In the process of chatting, Xu Shihai found that Xiao Xuan was a very sensitive person, whether it was the punishment of his childhood teacher or the scolding of his parents, it was always difficult for him to let go. There was a grievanced little person in his heart, feeling that he had never been treated gently by anyone in this world, and gradually this little person began to be paranoid and irritable. He wrote down in his notebook all the resentful people, intending to take revenge and end himself.

Xu Shihai knew that Xiao Xuan was just too lacking in love, and he longed for someone to give him warmth. So, he began to chat with him every day and tell him jokes. In the company of every day, Xiao Xuan began to become peaceful, but whenever he was wronged again, the irascible little man would run out again. Xu Shihai has been accompanying him like this, listening to him tell his own story, and every time he thinks about it, he pulls him back. It took two years for the irascible little man to really let go of all his resentment, fall in love with the world again, and now become a wedding celebrant.

In his message to Xu Shihai, he wrote: Uncle Hai, do you know? My humor is all learned from you, at first you told me jokes, I didn't understand at all, I generally thought for a long time, went back at night to understand what it meant, and then giggled in the bed, it was you who made me stand in the sun again.

"I'm going to pull them back one by one"

There are many more children like Xiaoxuan, and Xu Shihai told the Health Times reporter that not long ago, he was "exposed" and kicked out of the group chat. But this time it was gentle and well-intentioned. One after another, the children in the group joined him in private chats, and some even politely and kindly advised him to stay away from this negative circle, "Every child in the death group is actually very simple, it is precisely because of simplicity, so it is easier to be seduced, I want to pull them back one by one." ”

In order to make his persuasion more professional, in 2021, Xu Shihai took the psychological counselor certificate, he hopes to use more professional knowledge to help these children, because more and more people know him, Xu Shihai can now often receive private messages from parents, hoping that he can help children out of the haze, and more and more volunteers are influenced by him to join the "persuasion" team.

On the Qingming Festival, Xu Shihai wrote a poem on his social platform to express his thoughts for his son, "Thoughts rise in the green smoke, the fields are full of longing, the world of twenty years old, why should it be so." Although he did not see his son in his twenties, he gave more children the opportunity to experience the best years of their lives.