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In a family, many contradictions are centered on "money", in fact, this is only the surface, money is not the root cause, money is the intermediate of material exchange, and money behind the involvement of human feelings, which is the root of the contradiction.
Heartbroken son and daughter-in-law, monthly subsidies of 3,000 yuan, learned that the daughter-in-law practice is very angry
Zhao Jun's family lives in the city, Xia Wei's family lives in the suburbs, the lives of the two people originally had no cross-track trajectory, coincidentally, Xia Wei once followed his girlfriend to attend the wedding of his girlfriend's friend, and was caught by Zhao Jun at a glance, Zhao Jun entrusted people after several inquiries, after learning about Xia Wei's details, the mediator came to the door to propose to him.
Zhao Jun's parents are teachers, although the salary of teachers is not high, but the pension is quite OK, and the two people add up to ten thousand yuan.
Zhao Jun is a civil servant with a low salary, but a stable job and good welfare benefits, which is already good in third-tier small cities.
Xia Wei's parents were very satisfied with the conditions of Zhao Jun's family, and this marriage was naturally facilitated.
A year after the two people got married, they gave birth to a cute child, Zhao Jun's parents retired, and the two helped their son and daughter-in-law with the baby.
Considering that the salary of the son and daughter-in-law is not high, the pressure to raise children is high, and they want to give their children a better school, the old two families discussed taking out a part of the pension to subsidize the small two.
Zhao Jun and Xia Wei were able to receive 3,000 yuan from the old man every month, and their income increased significantly.
Xia Wei's family conditions are not good, his parents have no fixed income, they are old, they still have to work and earn pocket money, the conditions of his brother's family are also limited, the money earned by his parents is filled to his son, and there is no extra money left for himself.
Xia Wei was distressed about her parents, looking at the rich money in her account, thinking that her parents were suffering at home, she felt sad, she originally wanted to discuss with her husband, give her parents subsidies every month, but she was afraid that her husband would not agree.
She later made up her mind to secretly give her parents 1500 yuan a month, save money for herself, save a little money from her children, and the money came out.
At first, the mother-in-law was distressed that her daughter-in-law did not buy clothes for herself, and she was also sad that she was too good at living a life, and sometimes she also paid for a dress for her daughter-in-law.
The things the baby uses and the clothes he wears, Xia Wei also tries to choose a cheaper price, and others can't see it.
But there was no impermeable wall, and later once Zhao Jun's parents went to a relative's house in the suburbs to attend a wedding, and learned about it from other people's mouths, and the old lady was angry.
Stop the 3,000 yuan subsidy, and no longer excessive family affairs of sons and daughters-in-law
Zhao Jun's mother was angry and went to her son's house to find her daughter-in-law theory, and Xia Wei immediately cried bitterly.
But she refused to explain.
Zhao Jun has been persuading his mother to extinguish the fire, saying that it is not bad for this money.
Zhao Jun's mother was originally a good-tempered teacher, so many years later, more naughty children did not let her have a time to collapse together, seeing the daughter-in-law crying, the son persuaded, she also put away her emotions, sat down and thought about it, the anger slowly subsided.
She said: "I understand your difficulties, but this is not a long-term solution, you are cutting back on food and clothing for your parents, your parents also have to subsidize your brother, this day has no head, children!" What I am angry about is that although you have married into our family, your heart is still in your mother's family, and you have not taken us seriously at all. ”
Later, Zhao Jun's mother decisively stopped the 3,000 yuan supply, on the grounds that since it was enough to spend, there was no need for her to continue to pay this money.
After that, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law becomes very delicate. Because Xia Wei does not think that he is wrong, nor is he grateful for the mother-in-law's efforts, the prisoner is the mother-in-law who broke the supply, let her mind very much, her reason is very simple, she subsidizes her parents, because her parents have no money, if the parents have money, the parents also subsidize her in turn, unlike the in-laws, who obviously want money, but do not help their sons at all.
The elderly are advised not to put all their hopes on their children
There are some areas where the idea is very interesting, parents should be unconditional for their children, if parents can not prepare a house and a car for their sons, then they can not look up in the local area.
It seems that parents owe their sons in their previous lives and must give everything for their sons. But on the other hand, if the son is not good to Lao Tzu, he will not be ridiculed much.
Some parents can not provide their sons with houses, cars and wedding expenses, and the sons do not care whether their parents are dead or alive, they are also considered that their parents deserve it, and if they do not pay for their sons, their sons will naturally not be filial to their parents.
But parents raise their children, even if the parents are not capable, don't they also raise their children?
The above case is a real case, the parents unconditionally pay for their son and daughter-in-law, but the daughter-in-law is concerned about the mother-in-law's family, does not regard the in-laws as their own people, and the son is grinning and completely obeys the words of the daughter-in-law.
If it were not for the mother-in-law's reasonableness, the family would not have remained in a harmonious state.
Parents have income, can still remain in this state, if one day parents have no money, or sick need money, what kind of state will be, it is unknown.
Parents really don't take out all their things for their children, leave a way back for themselves, so that they will not let themselves enter a passive state.
When a child reaches adulthood, the parents are not directly responsible
I think our concept should be changed, parents raise their children, for the children to finish college, has done their duty, do not buy a house, buy a car, prepare for the wedding, etc. to impose on the parents.
Since a person is already independent, he should rely on his own ability to plan all this, if the family life is rich, the parents have the ability to naturally help, if the parents are not capable, this can not be an excuse for children not to give their parents pension.
Parents can say that raising children is not to prevent old age, but children should not refuse to be filial to their parents, and raising them is a favor, and children should remember.