"Child, dad is not tired", parents sold miserably, but unfortunately this generation of children did not buy it 

Text | Rice grain mother

A few days ago, a video recorded by a miserable father at the construction site was on the hot search.

In this video, he is wearing a hard hat, sweating all over his face, and selling miserable words is very yin and yang.

In fact, it is a fact that parents work hard to provide for their children's education. Many noble children are also more motivated to study hard because their parents are really not easy.

But if you directly give this matter to "yin and yang" like this, it seems to change the taste.

In fact, it is true, and the comment area is full of voices that do not buy it:

"Just do it if it's not hot, work hard."

"Dad, I played at a friend's house today, the friend's house was very large, the air conditioner was turned on all day, and the friend's mother gave me 5,000 yuan for us to go out and play."

I have to say that this post-00 generation is really fierce. It is directly a big move that does not accept misery.

In this era, misery education is no longer popular, because this uncomfortable selling is essentially a kind of moral kidnapping.

Although I want my child to see my own hard work, it is a normal state of mind for ordinary people. But if the method is not used correctly, it must be counterproductive. Transferring these pressures to children in a miserable way is hardly a love for children.

Kidnapping in the name of giving

The hardcore player who sells the miserable world is Mr. Lu Xun's Xianglin sister-in-law.

"Until she said whimpering, they all shed the tears that stopped in the corners of their eyes, sighed, went contented, and commented one after another."

The son let the wolf eat, and she chanted about it in the crowd every day, and the bumpy usually cried with it, and then left "contented".

At first, in fact, the audience was very sympathetic to Xianglin's sister-in-law, but as she came and went, she said every day, everyone no longer accompanied, and even after sensing some miserable meaning, everyone began to have an element of ridicule.

In the eyes of children, in fact, parents who sell misery are also such a perception.

Parents complain to their children because they are too hard, and the children will definitely feel particularly guilty at the beginning, and secretly determined to live up to their parents' painstaking efforts.

But in general, children are bound to be resistant and even counterproductive.

In the traditional view, there is an inherent power relationship between parents and children. Filial piety comes first, and it seems that seeing that the efforts of parents for themselves are not out of affection, but should be a duty.

When this rightful duty is imposed on the child, the moral kidnapping of the parents gives them a certain right: control.

If you want to educate your child to study well, just say it directly, you have to sell miserable in the early stage, and then put forward a request to ask the child to obey unconditionally. Dare to say no, and the child will be shackled with guilt.

I saw a girl on a certain point before saying that every time I quarreled with my mother, my mother would repeat:

"In order to give birth to you, half of my life is almost gone!"

"If it weren't for you, I would have been..."

She went back to the room without saying a word, because she didn't know how to refute. Compared with the nurturing grace of parents, their own interests and ideas are simply not worth mentioning.

Therefore, it becomes reasonable to accept all the demands of parents unconditionally. The child accepts the requirements of his parents, but gives up himself.

As the famous saying goes:

"A child who is abused by his parents does not stop loving his parents, only stops loving himself."

Toxic misery education

Many parents are particularly keen on hardship education, just like the father on the construction site in the video, he is suffering and suffering, but he is yin and yang in his words:

"Son, you play games well, the air conditioner must be turned on a little bigger, don't get hot."

It is necessary to emphasize one's own suffering to counter the happiness enjoyed by the child. Suffice it to say that he knows how to make people uncomfortable.

A few days ago, there was a video on the Internet that was very popular, a mother took her daughter out on vacation to travel, and the two of them took a green train, or no seat tickets.

The girl in the middle really couldn't support it, sitting on the suitcase and eating instant noodles, there were people around, the girl was squeezed and shrunk, endured the side eyes of the people next to her, and looked embarrassed.

Then the copywriting of the mother is like this:

"If there are difficulties, we must go up, and if there are no difficulties, we must also go up. Slow car without a seat, give me several rolls, continue next time. ”

So someone asked in the comment area:

"Why buy a no-seat ticket? It's not an emergency, go out and plan ahead. ”

Mom answered reasonably:

"I think she has to feel the hardships I have endured."

"I haven't asked her to pick up the rags yet."

Because he rode in a seatless green leather car when he was a child, he picked up rags when he was a child, and he must let his children experience it too.