Take it easy today, talk about gossip~
At dinner with my sister, she told me that her best friend negotiated with the man before marriage, and the main contradictions focused on the bride price and premarital property.
01
I'll make a long story short, let's replace my girlfriend's name with Xiaomei.
Xiaomei and Xiaoshuai met on a blind date, talked about love for two years, and it was time to talk about marriage.
The two of them each have a pre-marital property, all paid the down payment in the mortgage repayment, Xiaomei's in the city, Xiaoshuai's in the suburbs.
Now the two live together in Xiaomei's house, and Xiaoshuai wants to live in Xiaomei's house if she wants to get married in the future, so that the two go to work closely.
Xiaoshuai's house in the suburbs was not renovated, so he thought about not decorating it first, and when he got married, he sold the house and changed the school district house in the city.
Xiaoshuai bought a new car.
Now Xiaomei is not happy, she feels that Xiaoshuai's above behavior is calculating her.
First of all, Xiaoshuai wants to live in her house after marriage, then she will bear more post-marriage costs, and there is nowhere to go for a quarrel.
Second, Xiaoshuai now buys a car, and the car is pre-marital property, and has nothing to do with her.
She originally thought of using the bride price money to buy a car, and the car would be used as a dowry for her mother's family. But now that Xiaoshuai has bought a car, she can't buy a car with a bride price, what if Xiaoshuai asks her for bride price money?
Third, Xiaoshuai does not decorate the house now, and wants to sell the house for a school district house after getting married.
Xiaomei thought that this is also a good thing, isn't this the legendary "wash"? If the pre-marital property is sold, it will become a post-marriage property, and you can still have more than half of the property.
But Xiaomei also thought that it would definitely not be enough to sell Xiaoshuai's house for a school district house, and Xiaoshuai must have planned to sell his house in his heart, so that his pre-marriage property could not be kept, wouldn't it be a big loss?
In summary, she feels that this marriage is full of problems and full of calculations, and she is the one who is calculated.
After listening to it, I was a little confused, who the hell is calculating?
Sometimes looking at the discussion about dowry on the Internet, I feel strange, thinking that when I got married, it was too casual.
The two fell in love, looking at the age is not young, the relationship is stable, the parents of both sides have also met, and they discussed a few days to get the certificate.
After receiving the certificate, I simply did the wedding, and the change of mouth fee was according to the customs of each family, and the two of us did not mix, and we loved to give as much as we wanted. There was no discussion of the bride price and dowry, so I got married in vain.
I said something bad about the entanglement between Xiaomei and Xiaoshuai before they got married, they are half a pound and eight taels, and each of them calculates the other, so I feel that I am calculated.
02
Strictly speaking, their real estate is not a complete pre-marital property, the down payment is paid, but both loans have not been settled, and the money to repay the mortgage after marriage is also the joint property of the husband and wife.
The car bought by Xiaoshuai has no loan and is pre-marital property. Xiaoshuai spends his own / own money, which is originally pre-marital property, and there is nothing wrong with exchanging pre-marital money for a pre-marital car, right?
Xiaoshuai's suburban house, after marriage and then decoration is spent after marriage, but the decoration part, mortgage repayment part, real estate appreciation part, are also the joint property of husband and wife, even if divorce in the future, it can be torn apart.
As for whether to sell the premarital house for a school district house, that is an afterword, it is fair to sell it all and not sell it, and it is considerate to leave a premarital house, depending on how the days pass.
Get married and calculate like this, you can imagine how the days will have to be calculated in the future.
Seeing Xiaomei so entangled, I am also worried for her, can this marriage still be married?
But then again, if only marriage does not involve the issue of having children, then it can also be relied on from the perspective of equality, men and women alike.
When it comes to having children, the vulnerable position of women comes out.
Pregnant in October, nursing and nurturing, women need to pay more, so there are many people who delay work. If the man is preoccupied with money at this time, the woman will really lose the lady and break the army.
Recently, I have always brushed some videos of stay-at-home mothers on the Internet, of course, I am not sure whether it is necessary to shoot videos or real life, but it is really depressing to watch.
How can a woman who is at home taking care of her children without a job, and is questioned by men, doing nothing day by day, still spending so much money?
Women are aggrieved to calculate where the money goes, the child's milk powder diapers, tuition and training fees, the whole family's meal money, firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar tea, bits and pieces, not a penny is used on herself, and she has become a waste of money.
I thought, if these mothers have money in their hands, they don't have to rely on men to pay for their living expenses, they don't have to look at men's faces, and their lives won't be so depressed.
Considering this layer, it is not an excessive requirement for the woman to order a bride price for possible risks as her own small treasury.
03
My sister and I were chatting up, and the 9-year-old Yuzu brother suddenly interjected, "At that time, I will give a bride price, don't exceed 150,000, it should be enough, right?" ”
I thought about it, isn't it 150,000? I saved a share of the increased life of Brother Yuzu, and by the time he was 25 years old and marriageable, the account was exactly 150,000, and this account was calculated!
Although I get married without a bride price, if Brother Yuzu gets married in the future, as long as it is not an excessive request that I can't afford, I should be willing to give a bride price, and it can be regarded as a peace of mind for the woman.
I said to Brother Yuzu seriously, "In the future, if you want to get married, talk about the dowry or something, I hope you don't let me mix." You talk to your girlfriend, and then you each take care of your parents, and that's it. ”
That's what I really think.
Some families with many children expect to subsidize the other children in the family with a bride price or dowry, which is equivalent to "selling" their own children.
The amount of the bride price and dowry depends on the economic conditions of both parties, and if there is one, it will be given more, and if it is not, it will be given less.
If you really bargain for the bride price and dowry, even if there is an enviably high bride price/dowry in the end, the other party will inevitably have a pimple in their hearts.
In the future, if you encounter some contradictions, turn this matter over again, and think about the mistakes of the year, small problems can easily become big problems.
I think ah, whether it is a bride price or a dowry, it is the financial support of parents to the small family that their children are about to form, which is a blessed marriage.
What do you think about this?