The marriage rift between Fu Seoul and Lao Liu was traced as early as 3 years ago|8 p.m. Entertainment
Recently, Fu Seoul and Lao Liu have attracted everyone's attention because they are facing the breakdown of their marriage.
As a well-known debater and writer, Fu Seoul has always been known for being "sober" and has a very deep understanding of gender relations, and now her marriage with her husband Lao Liu is in trouble, which many people did not expect.
In the variety show "Goodbye Lover 3", Lao Liu confessed that he took the initiative to leave because he was "dissatisfied with himself".
In a marriage of "strong women and weak men", Lao Liu is the one responsible for transporting his children to and from school, and as Fu Seoul's career rises, Lao Liu feels that he is gradually unneeded and very frustrated.
Actually, all this is already known.
As early as 2020, Fu Seoul and her husband Lao Liu were on a show called "21 Days Before Marriage", when the two were still very sweet, in the show they also took wedding photos again, confessed to each other and wrote letters, etc., Lao Liu's state was much more active than today.
In one clip, when two people are counting the difficulties of the past and lamenting that they are still good today, Fu Seoul said that the good life now is "mainly due to me."
Lao Liu said helplessly: "You don't need to emphasize that it is your reason."
It can be seen here that the strong female and weak status of the two has obviously reached a consensus within both of them from this time.
And what is the attitude of the two to this, Fu Seoul is obviously very high-profile about this, so he preached to Lao Liu, "It's all me"; In this conversation, Lao Liu obviously felt that he had no "right to speak", so he just said "you don't need to emphasize anymore".
It can be said that the attitude of the two of them is also destined to gradually lose their balance in this relationship and come to this day.
From the old Liu who was "spurred" to the old Liu who "lay down to win"
Fu Seoul was born in a rural area, his parents divorced when he was three years old, and after his mother married for the second time, Fu Seoul was sent to his grandmother.
Unlike most children, Fu Seoul, who came from poverty, had an unhappy childhood, and even secretly drank dish soap in order to see her mother, because her mother would come to see her when she was sick.
The young Fu Seoul, because of his hunger for classmates to eat bubble gum, even chewed bubble gum chewed by others, in order to eat an ice cream, he also stole money.
Therefore, Fu Seoul is very aware of the feeling of poverty, so she always works hard to improve when she grows up.
In 2012, through his own efforts, Fu Seoul published his first novel, "Youth is a hasty book, we read and read again with tears", and has since emerged.
In 2017, Fu Seoul participated in "Strange Words" and became a dark horse among debaters, so he became famous.
Fu Seoul and Lao Liu met on a blind date, and according to Fu Seoul's recollection, she also met many other men at that time, but only Lao Liu said as soon as they met, I am like this, I have nothing at home.
Fu Seoul was happy, because other men loved to brag about what they had in front of her, and only Lao Liu said that he had nothing.
Slowly, the two got married everywhere.
The former Fu Seoul and Lao Liu, like other couples in love, are equally sweet and happy, and the same men are bearing most of the pressure of the family.
Fu Seoul is very strong, and she also said on the show that she is a person who will always prove herself in the comparison system, and she will also become a crested head in the phoenix tail.
Therefore, since the two first got married, she has always wanted to live a "good life",
To this end, she became the "cheerleader of the cheerleader" and has been spurring Lao Liu.
Lao Liu, who was "spurred" by Fu Seoul, went to sell durian and went to insurance.
What kind of person is Lao Liu, as Fu Seoul complained on the show, Lao Liu is "a senior salted fish".
In "Goodbye Lover 3", Lao Liu himself described himself as "indifferent to anything" and "not positive".
This is the opposite of Fu Seoul, who has been pressing him closely.
Therefore, under the spur of Fu Seoul, Lao Liu was also very depressed and did not live happily.
Sometimes Fu Seoul wakes up at night to find him smoking alone on the balcony.
Fu Seoul said that once Lao Liu rode her bicycle to work, and she asked Lao Liu "when will I live a good life", and Lao Liu replied that "being with you is the best day."
This dialogue reflects the difference between the two, one is busy pursuing, the other is content with the status quo.
In traditional Chinese families, it is generally the male protagonist and the female protagonist inside, but the "spurred" Lao Liu's career has not improved, but Fu Seoul became popular in "Strange Words" and achieved a career.
And their identity slowly evolved into a "salted fish" husband, a "strong woman" wife, and Lao Liu even changed the name of his social account to "Lao Liu who lies and wins".
As the difference in identity became bigger and bigger, Lao Liu could realize that Fu Seoul, who couldn't stop, was getting farther and farther away from him, and he was seeing farther and farther away.
The "main husband" of the family has been reduced to material, and the gap between strong women and weak men
In 2020, Fu Seoul and Lao Liu participated in "21 Days Before Marriage", and after the broadcast, many netizens expressed envy and blessing for the love between the two.
In the variety show, Lao Liu is humorous and steady, not only considerate of Fu Seoul, but also occasionally shows a little romance, which is very different from the current negative state.
As the "househusband" of the family, Fu Seoul lies on the sofa, while Lao Liu is busy making sugar water for Fu Seoul in the kitchen.
Later, Lao Liu also massaged and poured water for Fu Seoul, and worked hard and complained.
Fu Seoul's bag fell in front of him, and he was also waiting for Lao Liu to come and instruct Lao Liu to pick it up for her, but Lao Liu didn't bother.
At night, the two chatted by the sea, and halfway through the chat, Lao Liu got up and took a fireworks stick to light Fu Seoul, causing Fu Seoul to burst into tears and said: "This is my top marriage, I can't have a better marriage with another person."
But the gap formed by their "strong women and weak men" is already very obvious at this time.
For example, at home, it was Fu Seoul who asked Lao Liu to report the account, and Lao Liu himself wanted to buy something, and he would also take the shopping cart to find Fu Seoul to pay for himself.
For example, when discussing which suit to wear, it was originally said that Lao Liu would choose by himself, but it was replaced because Fu Seoul disliked it, and Lao Liu actually had no right to speak.
As mentioned at the beginning, Fu Seoul, who has always been strong, made the old Liu who was in the "weak side" feel pressure.
Outside the show, Lao Liu, as Fu Seoul's "material", is also the object of spit on all the time.
Fu Seoul once said that many people advised her to divorce, and why she did not divorce was because her husband Lao Liu was her source of material.
This sentence may be ridicule, but it exposes the fact that Fu Seoul has a strong say in this marriage relationship.
And this state of "strong women and weak men" is almost worse in "Goodbye Lover 3".
In the last second, Fu Seoul was bright and beautiful in front of the camera.
The next second, Lao Liu sat in the park quietly eating a simple breakfast.
Two people who seem to be not one world, but a husband and wife under the same roof.
The imbalance of this relationship and life eventually led to the imbalance of Lao Liu himself.
Therefore, Lao Liu began to be sincerely afraid of his "weakness".
In "Goodbye Lover 3", Fu Seoul once said that Lao Liu told her, "If I can't give you anything, I can at least give you independent space." ”
At this time, Lao Liu had realized that he was completely "backward", so he couldn't even be the former "househusband".
Then, Lao Liu began to feel ashamed and inferior for his "weakness".
In "Goodbye Lover 3", Fu Seoul mentioned that Lao Liu wrote "Help you fly high" on his greeting card, and she felt sad because she felt that this should not be a blessing written by a husband to his wife.
Lao Liu's answer was "maybe I'm self-righteous" and "because I don't want to delay others."
Here, Lao Liu has used self-deprecating "self-righteousness" and "delay", and for his wife, Lao Liu is also called "others", which shows the sense of separation and extremely low self-identity under the "strong and weak" relationship he feels.
It was these feelings that slowly destroyed his confidence in being with Fu Seoul.
We share sufferings but do not share blessings
From the very beginning of the hard days to the current "good days", Fu Seoul and Lao Liu have been married for more than ten years, and they can endure hardships together, but they cannot enjoy happiness together.
The fundamental reason is that Lao Liu fell into a thinking trap, linking his value to his performance, so he was frustrated everywhere.
Now Lao Liu, rather than really wanting to divorce, is more like hoping that Fu Seoul will pay attention to his emotions, so he launched a confrontation with Fu Seoul.
It is said that marriage is a mutual compromise, but in the situation of "one strong and one weak", what is really often compromised is the weak party who has no right to speak and no dominant position.
Lao Liu's life as a "housewife" reflects the current situation of how many "housewives"; The current situation of Fu Seoul and her husband Lao Liu, and the current situation of many middle-aged couples.
It can only be said that the most important thing in a relationship is to understand each other, especially in a marriage where there are obviously "strong" and "weak".
As Fu Seoul said in the strange saying: "Today I finally lived the life I wanted, but I never asked if this is what you want?" ”
Perhaps a long time ago, the two had been silent about the problems in their relationship.
And what the days are, only they know.