In order for my son to go to school smoothly, I paid 6 million!

OK mom said:

In the concept of the older generation, it is difficult to imagine that the younger two get married and have children, and there is no apartment! So my good friend Anand looks very different, she has been renting for 10 years from single to married to having two children, she and her husband have lived in a 30-square-meter cottage, lived in a historic neighborhood, enjoyed a high-rise house in the CBD, and experienced a different life. At one point, she thought she would rent for the rest of her life.

But I didn't think that a while ago, she suddenly told me that she paid six million to buy a second-hand house before her eldest son officially enrolled in elementary school, and she laughed at herself: "It's still not exempt!" ”。

After listening to it, I was very embarrassed, our generation and the matter of buying a house are really inextricably linked.

Text: Anan

01

Dare to get married without buying a house, what are we thinking?

I studied and worked in Hangzhou for nearly 10 years.

At a chance party, I met my current husband, but we were in Shanghai at the time, and we were in a long-distance relationship for half a year.

When I was in love, I didn't feel anything, when it came time to talk about marriage, one party had to make a compromise, I pondered for a while, or decided to "marry the chicken and follow the chicken".

In 2014, I quit my job in Hangzhou and decisively followed my husband to Shanghai, got married, and settled.

At that time, relatives and friends on both sides were persuading us to buy a house, how could we not buy a house when we got married?

I didn't think about buying a house, after all, my good friends around me all had a house before getting married, which seemed to be a natural thing, but in the end, we still decided not to buy it.

First, both of our hometowns were not in Shanghai, and we were both thinking about working hard for our careers, but we didn't fully think about where to put down roots in the end.

Second, it is also very practical, Shanghai housing prices are our two bottomless people, really can't climb. I used to work in the real estate industry, watching the real estate market in Hangzhou get one price a day, not to mention the more prosperous magic capital! In addition to emptying six wallets, he also has to carry a heavy loan for 30 years.

At that time, my husband and I did not think too far, nor did we think too much about asset preservation and appreciation.

02

With the qualification to buy a house in Shanghai, I still think it is better to rent

After 5 years of renting in Shanghai, the "temptation" of buying a house came under my nose!

Our two "Shanghai drifters" got the qualification to "buy a house" in Shanghai. (Shanghai's house purchase policy is relatively strict, you need to be married and have social security for 5 years, both of which we meet.) )

At that time, a colleague, a local lady in Shanghai, persuaded me bitterly, "Anan, you still have to buy a house, the urban area can't afford it, just buy the suburbs like me, several new buildings have opened there, gritting your teeth, good days are behind, believe sister, we are coming!" ”

When he went home and discussed with his husband, he immediately indignantly said that he did not want to be cut leeks, "Look at this soaring house price every year, I don't want to be a takeover man!" ”

At that time, my husband had a dream of starting a business, and I also understood such an idea, because once we had a mortgage, we could only stay in our original positions conscientiously, and did not dare to easily jump jobs and leave, and career development was tied down.

And the thought of emptying my savings to buy a suburban house in exchange for a two-hour commute to and from work to the subway is a bit painful.

We did have a relatively comfortable life in Shanghai in those years without having to carry a mortgage. At that time, renting in the city center, life was very convenient, within walking distance to work, transportation costs and time costs were very low. Supermarket, bakery, café on your doorstep.

We can also arbitrarily choose our favorite block to live in, such as living in a very historic neighborhood, full of broad-leaved plane trees, and nearby is Zhang Ailing's former residence. There are too many places in Shanghai with such a small mood, and the kind of 100,000 square meters of house can only be experienced by renting.

Many people feel that moving is troublesome, but I treat every move as a break, throw away what should be thrown away, especially some clothes that have long been unpleasant, dispose of them quickly, and feel that the air at home has become fresher.

However, perhaps the most important reason is that we had not yet had children at that time, and for childless families, self-purchase was not just needed.

With all the pros and cons in mind, I quickly dismissed the idea of buying a house.

03

We had a big gift, but we lost our first home

In 2018, my parents called and said that they wanted to buy a house in their hometown, and the title deed wanted to use our name as a gift for us. They knew that we didn't have much savings, so they offered to arrange a down payment and instalment loan, and use our provident fund.

It's a big gift, but at the same time, it also means that the cost of buying a house in the future has further increased.

At that time, purchase restrictions in first-tier cities were introduced one after another. If we have a house purchase record and loan record in our hometown, then whether we buy a house in Hangzhou or Shanghai, it will be regarded as a second house, the down payment and interest rate will rise, plus the hometown of this house has also used up the provident fund, we can only continue to float in the big city.

After discussing with my husband, I decided to agree to my parents' proposal. In the past few years of working outside, we have given very little company and pay to our parents, the new house is in hand, the elderly can move in quickly, as long as they live, they have enjoyed the improvement of their quality of life brought by the new house, and we are quite happy to think that they live comfortably.

As for the house price of the hometown house, we don't expect it, and how can it be compared to the increase in the house in the first-tier city, whether you bought a set in Hangzhou or Shanghai in the early years, the money that rose was enough to buy a new house in your hometown.

So you can't just calculate the one-sided value, otherwise the mentality will collapse.

04

Back in Hangzhou, "sighing at the house"

Of course, for the house prices that can no longer be climbed, our inner regrets are not absent.

In 2019, we returned to Hangzhou due to job changes, and after looking at the stricter purchase restriction policy, we could only sigh and continue to rent, completely dispelling the idea of buying a house.

My roommate when I was working in Hangzhou bought the subway project in Hangzhou Binjiang during the financial crisis in 2008, and the unit price was less than 10,000, but in 2019 it has soared to 70,000.

You must know that at that time, the commercial facilities of the riverside were just a piece of paper, and at a glance on the road, there were few living people, and it felt like a deserted construction site.

In order to attract people to buy houses, the river-view houses on a certain line of the riverside also write oversized characters "There are dreams across the river" on large billboards along the river. My husband and I laughed at the slogan at the time, and then I thought it was very appropriate.

Because in 2019, the countryside where birds don't poop in my eyes has made me unable to climb high. The real estate on the riverside gradually became dense, and began to form a close confrontation with the urban area across the river.

Riverside construction site in 2002

Now, see the riverside from Qianjiang New Town

05

In the rental house, the second child was ushered in

Back in Hangzhou, the first apartment we rented was a high-rise residence in the heart of the Binjiang business district. It was in this house that we ushered in the birth of two little beings.

At night, my son likes to lie in front of the window and watch the lights of Wanjia, marveling at the beautiful night scene. Yes, there are already shopping malls here, the flow of people is dense, and the traffic jams during the peak period extend all the way, looking at it from a high place, like a brilliant light strip.

All this looks beautiful, but with the birth of children, the drawbacks of renting a house begin to become more and more obvious.

When the baby was just born, I still paid a lot of attention to the cleanliness of the room, and the dust and dirt that I could ignore before seemed to emerge from the corners overnight: the hygiene of aging walls and floors was like a layer of ash, and it could not be wiped clean. In the old kitchen and bathroom, there are always leaks, blocked sewer pipes, all are hygiene hazards...

There is no way, if you can't do it with your own strength, you can only change houses!

But coincidentally, the second house rented in Hangzhou, before signing the contract and moving in, the water pipe directly exploded! Opening the door, the water of the house rushed into the corridor. The water in the house is more than 10 centimeters, which is almost the level of raising fish.

The mood collapsed for a while, here to find a way to drain, there to settle the child, I simply let my son put on rain boots, learn Peppa Pig to tread water to play.

Although the landlord said to actively renovate. But the house continued to have problems, we only lived for a year, and quickly moved out.

These two moves have made me truly experience that moving after having a baby has reached the point where I have to sweat even if I think about it.

I've packed more than 100 large cartons at once, not including other large items that can't fit into cartons! After arriving at the new home, I will take it apart one by one and tidy it up. Moving while taking the baby, the whole process is really to die and live.

The home has not yet been sorted out, a baby rummages through boxes and cabinets in the dusty new home, and a baby crawls all over the ground and gnaws things, and his head is big. Wait until the house is thoroughly cleaned, at least lose 3 pounds.

I have not been unjustifiably evicted by my landlord, but there have been moments of passive moving. For example, some houses we live in quite satisfactorily, and want to live for a few more years, the landlord wants to take back his own life, then there is no way, just stuck at the moment of renewal, so we have to work hard to move again.

06

Renting a house for a lifetime is an illusion for families with children

Of course, renting a house is hard work, but we are still used to it.

Until we encountered the problem of "difficulty in enrollment" of our eldest son, it gave us a headshot!

When the eldest was 4 years old and wanted to go to kindergarten, we found out that kindergarten is not compulsory education, and the floating population may not be able to go to kindergarten.

The eldest was born when the second child had just opened, and the number of births was particularly large. We almost couldn't go to kindergarten because we didn't have a household.

Finally, I found an inclusive private kindergarten near my home, but I also had to queue up, but fortunately we got in line. The kindergarten is very humane, because the eldest is studying, and the second is also successfully enrolled in this kindergarten.

After seeing the explosion scene when the kindergarten was registered, we realized that when it was the eldest turn to go to elementary school, each school would be full, and we would most likely be randomly assigned to a distant elementary school. The daily pick-up time will become very long, and the burden on parents will be heavy, which will disrupt the rhythm of the whole family.

When you realize that you need a house, you can ensure that your child can attend an ordinary elementary school on the doorstep. This has stimulated our determination to buy a house.

It was also from that moment that I firmly said to my husband that we must buy a house in Hangzhou, and the time is set before the eldest registers for primary school, and we will start to save food and clothing in the past three years!

07

After looking at the house for 3 days, I decisively bought the house

Fortunately, this year, the Hangzhou two-home policy was relaxed, the down payment was reduced to 40%, and the overall house price was also at a temporary low, we did not hesitate anymore, took advantage of this opportunity to hurry up to buy a house, ended the history of renting, and occupied a degree for children.

We looked at the house very quickly, just near the community we now rent, spent 3 days looking at 4 apartments on the spot, and soon decided to buy a favorite house next to the elementary school, a little more than 100 square meters.

This is probably also thanks to ten years of rental experience, we have experienced different locations, room types, living facilities, so we know more about what kind of house we want to live in, and the purchase decision is clearer.

08

Finally, to summarize some of the gains and losses of insisting on not buying a house.

The most regrettable thing is that as a post-80s, I have not eaten the dividends of rising house prices in the past ten years.

Fortunately, I have not taken money too seriously, so my mentality is relatively stable. People can't make money outside the cognitive realm, but they will eventually get their share. More or less, it's good not to compare with others. Regret that the medicine is not there, just look forward.

However, people have an uneven experience, but it can inspire a very beneficial sense of the future.

Over the years, we have continued to move our nests, and we have laughed at ourselves that our ability to "have fun in suffering" in life has become higher and higher. There is a process for such change, and sometimes it is forced. But after really accepting it, I become more able to enjoy the moment, no matter what others think, there is a kind of "live your own life, let others say" cheerfulness.

It is becoming more and more clear that the sense of security is given by oneself, not by the house. I was very dependent on the security that material things gave me, and I had been following the steps and daring not step out of my comfort zone, but I had become braver and not locked in by a fixed lifestyle and value standard. Therefore, in our husband and wife relationship, we have never quarreled over the house, and the children have not lost their sense of security because of changing homes.

The house is just a container for the family's lifestyle. The house is a big deal, but let the house make our life, not bundle our choices, and life will become lighter.