Looking back, what happened to the children who "lottery" at the beginning?

 Three years ago, Shanghai began to implement the private lottery policy, and in the face of uncertain lottery results, a few were happy and a few were sad. This year's kindergarten is small, because of the pressure of enrollment superimposed on the small peak of the population, it is inevitable to add a bit of anxiety. So, can the "lottery" really "shake for life"? How should we rationally view the "lottery result"? Bund Jun interviewed three Modu mothers and talked about the real experience of "after the success or failure of the lottery", which may give everyone some inspiration.

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Wen 丨 Zhuang Xiao edited 丨 Jennifer

On the way to school, school selection has always been an inescapable hurdle.

No matter what school age group, there are parents who are distressed and worried about "school choice" day and night, for fear that once the school choice is unsatisfactory, it will directly affect the future development of their children.

Especially this year's kindergarten and elementary school, under the pressure of enrollment superimposed on the small peak of the population, parents who are "prospective primary school students" will inevitably add a little anxiety:

Do you want to fight your luck to get your child into the target school? Give your child a good start to their academic career?

In the event of fierce competition and failure in the lottery, can you and your children bear the ensuing results and be willing to gamble and lose?

To this end, Bund Jun interviewed three "magic capital" mothers. In last year's "lottery", some of them successfully rocked their dream schools, some regretted entering unexpected schools, and some directly chose the corresponding public schools.

So a year has passed, looking back at the "lottery", what kind of perception do they have, and what kind of thinking do they have?

The "volume" of prestigious schools

It makes me want to transfer schools every day

Cissy's circle of friends has been very lively lately.

In the Shanghai private kindergarten middle school that has just settled, some of the mothers Cissy knows have successfully swung to the target school and happily posted admission text messages; Some simply posted the new student parent meeting organized by the target school; Others directly "like" the "opening package" issued by private schools, lamenting the upcoming "busy" summer vacation.

The déjà vu scene also brought back memories of Cissy. Just a year ago, with similar joy and anticipation, she and her son ushered in the new semester of the first year.

But now, she told the Bund Jun that she was faintly regretting her original choice.

What made her change her mind in less than a year? In the face of the Bund Jun's question, Cissy, who showed a bit of a wry smile, also confessed, "I really can't move now."

This "volume" is, first of all, a physical "volume". Before the lottery, Cissy mostly considered the school's school spirit and teaching, and as for the distance to school, she was not on her inspection list at all. "It's really not possible, you can rent one near the school."

But as it turned out, she underestimated the difficulty of renting near the school. Although Cissy began to prepare for renting as soon as the lottery results were "released", she could not find a house of the right size and price until the start of the new semester.

In the end, Cissy could only drive her children to and from school every day. In case of bad weather or traffic jams, it takes nearly 2 hours just to pick up and drop off back and forth. Soon, the passion of going to school in the dream school was exhausted by the long-distance transfer.

If the child enjoys school, Cissy thinks she might be able to stick with it. But a small math exercise recently done by his son made Cissy feel a little frustrated.

"My son scored 92 in math that day, and I was quite happy. But later, the teacher told me that the average score in the class reached 97 points, can you imagine how I felt at that time? ”

After carefully checking the examination papers, she found that most of her son's lost points appeared in "small things" such as missing questions and not writing in the application question unit. If the child were to read the question again, Cissy believed he would soon be able to correct his mistakes.

"I think he was a little careless and might get better over time, but the hands of the kids in our class were too steady. In the same situation, how do they manage to be infallible? ”

In this primary school, where the target junior high school is "Sangong", teachers always have higher requirements and expectations. The excellence of her classmates made Cissy feel pressured. Cissy had to "add meals" to the child from time to time, and almost every night, the mother and son spent the chicken flying dog jump.

What tires Cissy is the delicate relationship between parents. For the resources and ranking of the school, sometimes parents can even "roll" "interpersonal relationships" fly.

Cissy told the Bund Jun that considering that her son is a big man and has a certain sports foundation, she plans to help her son apply for a trial training for a sports varsity team.

The application was submitted early, but there was no follow-up. She asked someone to inquire from the coach to know that it turned out that because she casually complained that the trial training time was too intensive, it was heard by parents with intentions, and a small report was made to the coach, and her son missed the qualification for further trials.

After some "secret fighting" among mothers, Cissy changed the lively style of the parent group in the past and became silent. But her son's failure to join the varsity team was like the last straw that broke the camel's back, and she began to seriously and carefully consider transfers.

"At the beginning, my understanding of this school was mostly its fame outside. So at that time, the lottery was successful, and I was a little excited, and I felt very lucky. But after experiencing it up close, I found that the 'volume' of the famous school is an all-round 'volume'; The beauty of a prestigious school may not be suitable for all children. ” 

Do phoenix tails or chicken heads?

Every time the lottery is drawn, there are a few joys and a few sorrows. This time last year was also the most lost time for Ding Ling's family last year.

In the days when the lottery failed, the whole family was shrouded in low pressure, silently waiting for the results of the coordination. At that time, Ding Ling, who didn't know how many tears she shed, looked at the child who was still ignorant, and a little guilt would always surge in her heart from time to time.

"I was very unhappy, and I blamed myself for why I went to the lottery, but let the child almost fall to the point where there is no school to do." At that time, I was full of thoughts that if the school I co-ordinated was not good, I planned to prepare for the transfer exam of other schools next year. ”

However, a few days after the start of school, Ding Ling suddenly found that the situation did not seem to be as bad as expected.

The most unexpected thing for her was the teacher-student ratio of the school. "Maybe because we don't have much fame, our class is only 25 people, unlike other schools, the class is full of 45 students."

With fewer people, each child naturally gets more attention from the teacher. For example, Ding Ling's children have repeatedly obtained the opportunity of the little host, which is difficult for her to imagine in the past.

"In kindergarten, we are not particularly sensible and obedient students, on the contrary, we are a little naughty. We've also discussed privately that if your child is in a good school, he may not have the opportunity to host at all. ”

Slowly, Ding Ling found that the child became much more attentive to learning than before. "The child always needs affirmation and encouragement, and after a few opportunities to host, he himself felt that I could do it too. After returning home, I am also very active in organizing school supplies and doing homework. ”

It is said that online classes are the most obvious embodiment of the quality of school teaching. Ding Ling was also pleased to find that the school also grasped more tightly during the online class. Because there are not many students, the school does not have cumbersome matters and more internal friction in online classes, the teachers only teach responsibly, and the children are all studying seriously.

Although the school is not famous, after Ding Ling came into contact with several mothers in the same class, she found that everyone was also very attentive to their children's learning. "It is common to see parents riding electric vehicles to take their children to various interest classes, and the overall learning atmosphere is still good."

This semester, Ding Ling's children also have higher requirements for themselves.

"Once silently written, because of a wrong word, he came home crying. Maybe it was all right before, and he couldn't accept it at once. This made us all feel very surprised, in the past, he could avoid reading and reading at home, but now he has become to study, which shows that this school is really suitable for my children. ”

The tuition fees of public schools also made Ding Ling, who had experienced private kindergartens, feel very cost-effective. "Like this spring outing, there is basically no cost, parents don't have to worry too much, and the children are very happy after playing home."

Now, a year later, Ding Ling has completely dispelled the idea of transferring her children to schools. "We are really lucky in the misfortune, and the school we have coordinated, the children are quite suitable. No one can say about the future changes, let's take it one step at a time, at least for now, we are quite satisfied with the current school. ”

No matter how Buddhist it is, it can't lie flat

Unlike the two mothers above, May's child did not participate in the lottery, but went directly to a second-tier public school near his home.

May told the Bund that after the school year, May found that the school was much better than he expected.

Although there are 45 students in her own class, she can also feel the sincerity of the school to pay attention to the development of each child.

"For example, in the class organization, each child has a corresponding small position, such as some children are responsible for checking the hygiene of the table belly, and some children are checking whether the nails are clean; Some are the language team leaders of the four-person group before and after, and some are the leaders of the mathematics team of the four-person group... Although there are many children, teachers will also create various small positions to give each child the opportunity to perform. ”

Recently, May's son also participated in a textbook play. After some exercise, the originally introverted child became more confident. She smiled and said to the Bund Jun, "Originally, I hoped that he could participate in the next batch of textbook drama performances, but the teacher will give priority to the young students who did not make the stage, which is good, 'the sun shines'." ”

However, even in the public school of the legendary "happy education", May still felt some pressure to study. "Like our first-grade class teachers, they all invite experienced teachers to lead the class, whether it is learning habits or learning effects, the school is very tight."

Although there is no written homework, the teachers' requirements for children's writing and reading skills have not been reduced in the slightest. "Sometimes looking at the small exercises they take home, you will find that the teacher's usual class has not a lot of extended content, such as the language under the first grade, there are already topics for reading pictures and writing words, and the requirements are quite high."

Just this semester, the school specially organized a live classroom observation activity for parents. May also walked into the office for the first time and saw the children in class.

"I listened to a Chinese class and was very shocked. From the learning of words to the understanding of the whole sentence of the text, the teacher has involved, and the teaching pace is very fast, and there are many teaching methods, such as group discussions, performances on stage, etc., all of which are carefully designed by the teacher. It can be said that the teaching efficiency has really been deducted to the extreme, and every minute and second in the class will not be wasted. ”

Afterwards, May also asked the child if this was the only way to teach this demonstration class. But the child told her that such a demonstration class is almost a school routine. Sometimes, before the bell rings, other teachers will come over and sit at the back of the classroom and listen carefully.

"At least in terms of the quality of classroom teaching, our public school is completely passable. However, after such a class, I felt a little difficult to audit myself, let alone a child who was completely blank slate. ”

Sometimes, May is overwhelmed by the teacher's demands. "Public teachers also have high requirements for writing. Some of the quality of homework has passed my level, but in the eyes of teachers, there are still various shortcomings. When school started, I was afraid of getting calls from my teachers. ”

May believes that in order for children to be comfortable in learning, they still need to do a solid job of preparing and reviewing in class. She also complained to the Bund Jun that sometimes as soon as she relaxed a little, the child took several good places.

English is also a major concern for May. Two English classes a week are not enough in her eyes. "Parents can't have a completely flat mind, even in the first grade, it is far from easy to maintain a full grade in the three main subjects other than Chinese and mathematics."

  epilogue

Judging from the accounts of these three mothers, they have obviously gained a deeper understanding of the connotation of education after the "lottery". "School choice" is important, but no matter how good the school is, it cannot provide a universal education.

This reminds me of two sets of data shared by best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell on the Google Zeitgeist forum:

One group is a comparison of the graduation rates of students pursuing mathematics and science degrees at Harvard University and ordinary schools; The other group is the publication of academic papers by graduates of different levels of schools.

After comparing these two sets of data, Gladwell found that students at the "bottom" of elite schools may perform and achieve far worse than the top students in ordinary schools. Therefore, he also advocated parents and students in his speech: it is not necessary to choose a top school like Harvard, but it may be better to choose an ordinary school.

Human growth is the most complex, and his advice to students is: when choosing a school, if you can barely "squeeze in" a university, it is better to go to your second or third choice, because your relative position in it may affect your sense of self and the possibility of achieving your goals.

The same applies to the "lottery". Before choosing a school, we might as well ask ourselves: do we value the "fame" of the school or the inner "strength"? Do you value the cultural atmosphere of the campus, or do you care about family relationships and some preferential policies?

Although there is never the perfect education, Bund Jun believes that every decision to choose a school is a comprehensive consideration that a family has repeatedly weighed in the present. In a sense, the three-year lottery is an opportunity for parents to calm down and think about what education they are most looking forward to.

Although a prestigious school is good, while enjoying the rich resources it brings, it must also be prepared to face pressure and risks; Not entering a prestigious school does not mean that the child's future future, it is a bleak future.

Schooling is never a panacea, school is only a limited experience in a child's growth journey, and parents still have a lot to do: let children learn to learn, love life, no matter what the environment, can play their strengths, I am afraid that this is the best way to help growth.

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