Personally experienced the middle school entrance examination, the frustration and relief of a top private junior high school family

In the past two days, the minimum entry control score line of the Shanghai Middle School Entrance Examination was announced. Among them, the "four schools" have only 1871 students. Under such circumstances, many parents have also considered Plan B - taking the road of international education. But what does switching to an international school mean for families and children? A mother who changed tracks after the middle school entrance examination in 2021 shared in detail her child's mental journey in the three years of junior high school.

This article is authorized to be reprinted from the public number: Read First (ID: Readfirst)

Wen 丨 Zheng Ye edited 丨 Luna

The story I want to share today is related to a junior high school student in the 2021 middle school entrance examination and his family.

At the beginning, this student was admitted to one of the city's top private junior high schools with excellent results, but he was hit and frustrated in an increasingly involuted environment. However, in the middle school entrance examination, he played normally and was admitted to the city's key points, but in the end, he resolutely chose a track outside the system.

His mother lamented: Life has finally returned to normal, and she has never been so happy. Although in this happiness, a new hidden danger has been added...

*The following narrative is from an interview with the student's mother. For ease of reading, the content will be narrated in the first person.

From the best to the middle and lower reaches of the results

Things have to start with the moment when my son was young.

At that time, he was admitted to Y, which is known as the city's top private junior high school, with excellent results.

Every year, the average score of Y middle school students in the middle school entrance examination basically means that they can enter all the key high schools in Shanghai.

As free-range parents who didn't discipline their children much in elementary school, we are all proud of him.

During the summer vacation of Xiao Shengjun, when we were still letting him play, we didn't expect that this preparatory game had already begun.

Entering junior high school, caught off guard, the school's requirements for children have become leapfrog growth, and the knowledge point has suddenly been dialed from elementary school to high school.

In the first year of junior high school and the first year of junior high school, Y middle school students have already begun to do English questions for the college entrance examination. They memorized the college entrance examination syllabus and skipped the high school entrance examination directly.

There seem to be some unwritten rules that I don't know but that other parents are familiar with: for example, during the summer vacation of junior high school, make-up classes are taken for granted. Science strong kids are running in full swing, and they have already taken one or even two rounds of junior high school classes outside. Entering the school, they are likely to have gone to school a third time.

Parents with chicken blood type account for seven to eight percent. School teachers have also asked me more than once if it is possible to be a stay-at-home mother. There is indeed no shortage of stay-at-home mothers in my son's class.

It seems that it has been agreed in our school, especially in the most critical year of the third year of junior high school, there must be a parent to accompany the whole process.

So much so that as soon as my husband and friend heard that my child was in Y, he responded: "Then your wife must be a full-time wife."

Unlike our children who work alone, many families are supported by the whole family, a family of three or even five working together. Hotels and guesthouses around the school are fully booked by parents all year round.

Obviously, compared with the family who has already played the chicken blood and has understood the rules of the game in advance, my child seems very uncomfortable after entering Y, and his grades are difficult to keep up. I also didn't figure out the "unspoken rules".

It's not that he runs slowly, but someone else has already started.

At the same time, the child enters adolescence, becomes more self-aware and his personality begins to appear. The excellent grades achieved in primary school made him think that he had the ability to manage his studies on his own. He is eager to prove himself in the face of adversity and is reluctant to listen to his parents' advice.

But the reality is often far from his actual ability and self-expectations, and the whole process seems to be very struggling.

He was the best in elementary school, and the flowers and applause belonged to him, but in junior high school, he became not so good, becoming a child with outstanding grades and middle grades - as a parent, I also had a hard time accepting it, and there were emotional fluctuations.

He has always been a child who reassures his parents, but suddenly he is no longer so good, as if nothing will turn him. With such a psychological gap, I will inevitably blame and criticize him, feeling that my child is not good and why he does not listen to himself.

All the staff rolled inward, and it felt like I couldn't see the dawn

I enter school at 7:15 a.m., study hall until 9:30 a.m. and go home to do homework until 12 a.m. During the summer vacation from the second to the third year of junior high school, almost all of his time was filled with make-up classes. Having two hours of badminton lessons a week is a luxury.

On a normal weekend, one day is outside the classroom, the other day is set aside for homework inside and outside the classroom, but it is not as bloody as the parents: they only leave half a day to do homework, and a day and a half to make up classes.

"Chicken baby species" (Image source: NetEase Digital Reading)

Under the high pressure of studying and exams, I can feel that my child's interest is wearing off little by little. Reading and knowledge have become repetitive brush questions, without the taste of research and exploration.

At that time, my biggest feeling about him was that his aura was gone. He used to be sunny, lively, and curious about all things, but over the years, that curiosity and freshness about the outside world is disappearing and stripping, and learning occupies 80% to 90% of his time.

In the third year of junior high school, I also had some negligence and did not find out the specific enrollment situation of the schools in the system. I don't know that Yimo* is no longer just a warm-up game before the high school entrance examination, but also a stepping stone for independent enrollment of key high schools. (*One model, two models: Before the middle school entrance examination, each district and county will organize at least two mock exams to check students' mastery of the knowledge of the three years of junior high school, and also conduct a comprehensive assessment of the teaching quality of each district and county.) Usually, it is arranged in the first half of the third semester of junior high school. The second model is arranged in the second half of the third semester of junior high school. ）

Good results are an important ticket for self-recruitment methods such as winter camps and open houses. So much so that when I reacted, the child's unsatisfactory results had caused us to miss our first opportunity.

The school also failed to provide any guidance on further education, or was open and honest with parents at the beginning of the third year of junior high school, explaining the specific process related to admissions. Because it defaults to parents of chicken blood type can inquire by themselves and understand thoughtfully. It is also because there is only one high school in its eyes - S Middle School.

Every year, more than 100 students are admitted to S High School from Y Middle School, accounting for one-third of the total number of students. One of the wonderful phenomena I have observed is that many students are no longer willing to apply for S Middle School, thinking that it will be a copy and continuation of junior high school life. (Of course, the result of their rebellion may be to apply for F and J Affiliated Middle School, two of the city's best "four famous schools")

After entering junior high school, I also changed the style of Buddhist parents in elementary school and began to participate more in my children's learning. Of course, this is also the responsibility of the school to parents. In the open-book exam, parents should help copy the key content on the book, and usually sort out the wrong questions to free up more time for their children to concentrate on studying.

After the first test, the child also knows that he missed the first opportunity. In the three months between the first model and the second model, you can see his hard work, and his results are gradually rising.

But perhaps too concerned about success, the Wallenda effect is also reflected in him: because he wants to do well in the exam, he ends up failing the exam, and the results surprise everyone.

It's like a spell that's hard to break: in head junior high school, his grades ebb and flow, hovering in the middle and lower reaches. When it was a little better, it was hit with a hammer, which made it feel like you would never see the dawn.

Moe vividly shakes, try the cow knife a little

Although there is a saying that "the top student relies on self-recruitment, and Puwa takes the unified examination", I did not blame my child for his failure, thinking that there was still a chance for the middle school entrance examination.

But that's when something happened that shook me for the first time.

Second model results are confidential and only known to parents and students. The failure of the second model made the child's pressure at school unprecedentedly increased, but the feedback the child got at school was because he did not work hard and was not serious, so he killed all his hands.

——I really uncomfortable to hear, the teacher's criticism and reminder I can accept, after all, people can't always listen to the wind, but I can't accept that the child's visible efforts are completely rejected, and the score is the only result orientation. What he needed at this moment was encouragement and affirmation.

I began to reflect: In the next three years of high school, do I really want him to work as hard as he is now, face a high-pressure environment, and withstand great pressure?

At this time, a colleague in the company who transferred the child outside the system and I suggested that the child should be transferred outside the system so that he could see the bigger world and stage, "Like your son, the goal should be G5."

It was already May, and it was less than February before the middle school exam. At the time, I had no idea what the G5 was, and I had already polished my confidence. I said impossible, how can there be such a thing. Reading the information sent to me by my colleague, it was like suddenly opening up a new world.

Some parents and I analyzed that in the system, all the way to enter the city key, in addition to the four famous schools, you also need to fight until the top 20% to 30% of the grade is expected to enter Fudan Jiaotong University, otherwise it is other 985 and 211 universities.

However, if you fight for three years in an international school, the offer in your hand is at least the University of Hong Kong, G5 or some small Teny schools in the United States, isn't the choice wider and better? "What's more, your son has a solid foundation and natural advantages."

I relayed the possibility of going to a world-famous school to my child, and I was afraid that his parents would think that he was not good, so I had the idea of transferring him outside the system. Who knows, his eyes lit up after listening to it, and he immediately asked me what school it was.

But it was very late, and the whole of May was occupied by various examinations such as physical education, self-recruitment, and experimental examinations, and he could not take the entrance exam of any international school except for the exam at school A at the end of May.

For the time being, let him go to School A to try the cow knife.

Regain your confidence and perfect holiday

School A's introductory examination is divided into two subjects: mathematics and English. After the exam, he burst with confidence, saying that his math paper could be used as a model paper. He also said that there was a question that was not very rigorous, and he scribbled the entire examination paper, trying to demonstrate the loopholes in the question itself.

Within a week, he received an offer from School A and was told that he had the opportunity to apply for a scholarship. This experience gave him great confidence that there was always a way to go without worrying too much about his future no matter what.

After the exam, his whole mentality became different, and it can be said that he returned to normal. He began to understand that he didn't have to drive himself to death in this world, and there was another wide sky where he could see his strength.

I look back and reflect that in adolescence, children are easy to treat the small environment around them as all, bringing a lot of one-sided and wrong self-perception. And this exam took him out of this environment, and also opened his heart and regained his confidence.

In the process, I also saw a lot of his bright spots. Before the exam, he would suddenly send me a message saying that he didn't think about this school, and he didn't even care about his mobile phone. Candidates also brought mobile phones and Bluetooth headsets into the examination room, and they were still swiping the screen before the exam.

I found that he has requirements for himself, has his own standards for school management and the students around him, and knows what kind of campus environment is most suitable for him.

After handing in the papers early, he sat and thought to himself: The reason why I can complete this set of papers so easily is because I have completed the trial in four years.

It can be seen that in the four years of Y, although he has been frustrated and struggling, he is by no means hateful, can look at it dialectically and rationally, and is still grateful for the cultivation of its learning ability.

A few days ago, he scored in the exam, and under a relaxed mentality, his son played normally and scored 711 points (out of 750). According to market estimates, this score is unlikely to be in the top four schools, but it is basically enough to be the best high schools in all cities and the best high schools in the district.

But in the end, after the high school entrance examination, he took the entrance examination of G School, an international school with a stricter school spirit, and decided to go to school there.

From choosing between key high schools and international schools, to resolutely going to the latter even if he was admitted to a key high school, his attitude has changed significantly.

On the one hand, this is the data comparison of the possibility of these two paths to fight for famous schools, on the other hand, he also feels that he has the opportunity and ability to see the vast world and try better world famous schools.

But to my relief, he didn't finally get out of the sea of suffering and take a shortcut. He carefully prepared for the high school entrance examination, and the holidays were both relaxed but self-disciplined.

This summer, when his classmates were pre-recorded by prestigious schools and began to seamlessly transition to high school preparatory classes the next day, his tight strings finally loosened. We lived exceptionally happily and peacefully, and it seemed that we had never been so happy.

He plays ball in the morning and studies for three or four hours in the afternoon. After dinner, he regained the piano that he had not touched since the second year of junior high school. At half past ten in the evening, he had fallen asleep. He lived the life that a child of this age should have, arranging himself in an organized manner.

Our parent-child relationship is also improving, and the atmosphere is no longer tense. The whole family could watch sports and talk about F1 races, and I suddenly felt that life was still very happy.

However, there is also a foreign track that is also involuted and the atmosphere is quietly spreading.

In the parent group of the new school, I feel that parents outside the system are also conscious and bloody. Even though the principal and teachers have stressed several times that parents are not encouraged to study or preview the content of subjects outside the English language except for the English language, many parents are still skeptical, asking over and over again whether they should enroll in classes or have already begun to discuss the extracurricular courses they are taking.

It seems that no matter what environment, there are very chicken-blooded and active parents, discussing chicken dolls in full swing in the group. I can't help but have a new question: has the track changed, and everyone is fighting for the "foreign college entrance examination" again? I feel like a Buddhist parent again.

But after four years of rolling, I really can't roll it up. Still want to give your child a little breathing space. I dived in the group, silently did not speak, and finally blocked the parent group.

Author's Postscript

The disadvantages of chicken dolls have been described in many previous articles. But the reality is that junior high school students who are still in adolescence are already facing the first diversion that will affect their lives to a certain extent.

Students in the middle and lower reaches of the grades, parents should do their best to send them to Pu Gao, the head junior high school students, born in the chicken doll training pool, when the game starts, almost everyone begins to rush to run, even Buddhist parents are difficult to sit still.

This is not a discussion article analyzing the pros and cons of chicken dolls and test-taking education, but starting from personal experience, showing a family's consideration of children's education in the current era environment, parents and children facing the current high school entrance examination stick, education pressure and involution environment and other situations of their own feelings, struggles and measurements.

The most touching thing is that when the child breaks out of the small environment in Y and takes the entrance exam of an international school, (although still through external feedback), he can glimpse a different self, and the inherent self-evaluation system is broken.

The establishment of self-awareness and self-worth is often the most important part of personal growth, but in today's homogeneous environment of principal fraction theory, children's cognition of themselves is often biased and full of self-doubt.

When another skylight is opened, or many years later they enter the broader social arena, they can regain the self-worth and self-confidence that they lost in their growth.

Thousands of troops have walked through the two single-wood bridges of the high school entrance examination and the college entrance examination, so that many schools and parents are concerned about the specific knowledge and details of each subject, but education should also open a skylight, so that children can glimpse themselves, know themselves, evaluate themselves, and complete their own exploration as soon as possible.

About the author: Zheng Ye majored in comparative literature from Waseda University, master's degree in journalism from Boston University, and worked as an education journalist in New York. Focuses on educational equity, international education, sociology of education, and Shanghai Metro.