The village did not dare to set up a feast for three days in a row

Text | Thirteenth sister

Yesterday, I saw a post titled "Anxious Children's Education" on the hot search, a Chengdu parent said: "The child is about to enter primary school, and the parent training organized by the school will be held for three consecutive days, from 9 am to 5:30 pm every day."

So this parent felt very unhappy - this is only in elementary school, how can he call his parents like employees.

Don't say she's upset, I'm quite stunned when I see it.

Even if this training meeting is "voluntary", as a first-grade parent, everyone is coming, and the school will be attended by others, and I will not participate, will I naturally be anxious? Am I losing at the starting line? Am I offending the teacher (maybe the teacher has signed up for the KPI to complete).

At least I've never heard of this kind of thing [in Shanghai], and I've never heard my friends from other places mention that schools hold three-day meetings for parents...

I feel two ways to see this notification:

1. This school can be quite expensive.

2. This school management may have "educational cow X disease".

Ordinary public do not dare to do this kind of thing, ordinary private / private are not very likely to do this, only the kind of more expensive (like to do things) schools, is good at taking the initiative to create this "parents give up everything around the child and the school" atmosphere, they automatically think: parents have nothing to do except bring their children.

This kind of school may not be affordable for all of us. If it's not very good (expensive), then it's just overconfidence.

I don't seem to have had much chance in my life to experience this kind of school that requires pole vaulting to climb high.

My son went from kindergarten to elementary school to junior high school and high school all the way to public school, and I didn't hide that I worked as a parent committee for 11 years... I know too well how "trouble-free" public schools are, basically do not bother parents, some school activities such as sports days, art festivals, reading festivals, etc., are also voluntary participation of individual parents, there is no mandatory requirement, even the parents' meeting is eager to hold less than once.

Private schools are different, as far as I know, some private primary schools have a lot of things, not only require parents to participate, but also have a lot of quiet "pressure" on parents, such as finding parents to count several "off-campus competition certificates" every semester... Isn't this obvious for your own baby to take out and roll it yourself.

So ah, different schools have different ways to play, but parents have to roughly have a little idea before choosing a school, some schools are good at "soft coercion", once selected, they can only learn to adapt.

In fact, a school like this that holds parent-teacher meetings for three days in a row is really not representative. Don't be afraid of new mothers, maybe it's just a tactical exercise.

The Chengdu parent complained about this because he "couldn't figure it out", and then got a series of practical experiences summed up by the "seniors":

How to say it, after reading these words, people know that they are not all true.

At least the phrase "only 35% of people in Chengdu can go to high school" is too far-fetched.

Of course, this content is not all true, nor is it completely false.

For example, "parents will ask one parent to participate, and do not want the elderly to participate" is true;

"What the school requires to be done must be done immediately" is true;

"No matter how good the character is outside, he must be gentle and cooperative in front of the teacher" is true;

"It can still be automatically rolled up at the grade of the paper" is true;

"Happy elementary school returns to happiness, and when you reach junior high school, you have to suddenly face the reality of proportional diversion" is true;

"Fight daddy and fight mother, live with a smile" is also true...

Such a post can be on the hot search, in fact, not that there are a few sentences are true, a few are false, the key is that "this school is just too conspicuous on the surface", and in the "underlying logic" behind it, in fact, many schools are similar - are too high requirements and expectations for parents, and even take "management methods" to deal with home-school relations.

I once saw an interview in which the interviewer asked, "What do you understand about home-school co-construction?" ”

A school teacher replied, "It's the school and parents working together to create a better environment for their children's growth."

One parent replied: "It's that parents don't get paid and work overtime every day."

You see, what causes different characters to understand the same thing so differently?

A friend in Zhejiang said that the child had just entered primary school, and the "parent questionnaire" had three pages, and the personal information was all over the place. The school has not even seen the children, so I first dug up the background of the parents.

There was a column in the questionnaire that asked: "What resources/services can you provide to the school", she thought for an afternoon, but there was none, trembling and writing "volunteer for school activities"... Later, it was found that 90% of the parents in the class wrote this, and only a few parents filled in the real resources, which may become the main force of home-school co-construction in the future, but this does not mean that their children can have any advantages over other children, because "parents should serve the school, and there is no equivalent exchange." ”

Some parents have never even changed a water dispenser in the company, and run to their children's school to disinfect and disinfect and clean for three hours.

Except for "being a good example for children", there is really nothing to do. This is the first layer of "home-school co-construction" – I contribute to the school.

Now many large enterprises do not hold an employee training of more than 2 days, in order to save costs.

And in an elementary school, the parent training will be as grand as the rural banquet, and it will be displayed for three days, what can have so much to say.

What kind of parents are "more qualified" parents is a philosophical question. At the school level, it is natural that parents can take on more burdens, relieve more burdens for schools, and help schools do more good things.

Parents teach their children to be obedient and well-behaved, not to cause trouble, obedient and consciously love to learn, which is a good parent and a good student for the school.

Parents are eating heart-saving pills while painstakingly accompanying homework, tutoring and studying, taking their babies to the west to train in the sun and rain, tutoring, and competitions, and their children have achieved results, and there are always half of the school in the military merit medal.

Such parents, which school does not love ah. This is the second layer of "home-school co-construction" - I train talents for the school.

In the past, parents expected schools to educate their children.

Now: the school expects parents to send their talented babies to school.

It used to be that illiterate parents could also reap a prize from school.

Now: Parents of top students do not necessarily meet the standards expected by the school.

Most of the time, parents' anxiety and stress are not self-inflicted, such as receiving this kind of news from a teacher:

In a test with a median of 99 and a full score of 1/3 of the class, parents of children who do not score 99 will receive a gentle slap from the teacher, and then assign a series of "summer vacation tasks" to parents.

I also didn't understand, it was necessary for all the children in the class to score 100 points, the teacher felt that the parents did their best...

It's not that the world has changed, it's that everyone's requirements are higher, and the speed of parents' requirements cannot catch up with the speed of school's requirements, so parents can only work harder and chase hard.

And then the more anti-bone thing came -

What is the school doing when parents strive to finish the first layer and then do the second layer, tirelessly catching up with the high demands that the school places on themselves?

The school is in the "double minus", no homework, no exams, no rankings ...