Authorized from Lu Shiyi (ID: lushiyi666)
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Some time ago, Sichuan relaxed the threshold for unmarried childbirth.
The object of unmarried childbirth mainly covers women, after all, the uterus is in the woman.
Some readers asked, after opening, are men still useful?
In the past, women's reproductive rights and interests depended on the basis of marriage, although the policy did not explicitly stipulate that they could not have children out of wedlock;
However, morality, civilization, public opinion, and the entry of newborns to the hukou hinder the reproductive freedom of unmarried women.
The promulgation of the policy of giving birth out of wedlock means that women can reasonably have the right to have children out of wedlock.
Let's talk about this topic today.
My views are not intended as advice or guidance, but merely to tell you some of the pros and cons that I can see.
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First: Is having a child out of wedlock challenging the status of marriage?
The essence of marriage is a social act.
It is in the management of society as a family, including but not limited to economic income generation, population inheritance...
The main result of unmarried childbearing is the increase in population, which is also a social behavior.
Does the social behavior of having children out of wedlock affect the social behavior of marriage? Does not affect.
In essence, their social purpose is similar.
Will that shake the emotional meaning of marriage?
Emotional meaning, which is not an attribute of marriage.
Two people in love, even if they are not married, their emotions are meaningless?
Marriage is based on love, but it is only a derivative of the spiritual level.
And having children out of wedlock is, do I have the freedom to procreate without emotional relationships?
Most people have preconceived notions about procreation, falling in love, getting married, and having children.
This is the process by which life comes into the world, and everything that does not conform to this process is born less justified.
Therefore, formalism is particularly serious in China. That's not a very good phenomenon.
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Second: Why can't some people accept having children out of wedlock?
Although unmarried childbirth does not affect the social attributes of marriage, it can impact the traditional childbearing process and concepts.
When a woman's womb and marriage are tied together, it happens like this: without marriage, you want to have a child. When you are married, you have to give birth if you don't want to.
Over time, marriage develops a hegemonic position.
You become our daughter-in-law, what kind of rules do you need to follow. You are so-and-so's wife, you should have a child for so-and-so.
Having children out of wedlock can relatively shake the hegemony of marriage.
Many times, the essence of a bad man pinching a woman is to first pinch her reproductive freedom, and then use children to pinch her life freedom.
Childbirth out of wedlock is the unbinding of women from the womb, so that the right to freedom returns to women, and how much decision-making power they have will have as much say as they have.
This indirectly can also promote the growth and maturity of men's view of marriage and romance.
No longer think that it is natural for wives to give birth to children for themselves, and no longer ignore the pain of women's fertility.
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Third: Are children the crystallization of love?
Some people say that children born out of wedlock are shorter, after all, children with a father and mother and emotional and marital relationships are the crystallization of love.
I am somewhat disgusted by such a statement.
In my understanding, family affection is an emotion that is more solemn and deeper than love.
It's not that love is more superficial, but it has a lot more uncertainty than family affection.
The love between many couples is gone, but the affection with their children is difficult to give up.
It is clear that the arrival of a child is dressed in a more solemn family relationship, but it is weakened into an erratic love result, and I don't quite understand why it is defined this way.
A child is a child, and life is life, not the product of lust between you and some man.
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Fourth: having children out of wedlock, not the mainstream, is a choice.
It is not the opposite of marriage, but I think it can make up for the lack of marriage.
Most women are likely to have children out of wedlock as an alternative.
The first option is to seriously find a suitable man to start a family, if you can't meet it, then having children out of wedlock is the second choice for them to want children.
Can meet the other half who knows and loves, no one wants to go it alone.
Even if it is opened to unmarried childbearing, it will not make most people flock to it, let alone eliminate the form of marriage.
It only makes up for the shortcomings of the marriage system, so that women who have not found a husband can also have their own children, and it has a certain benign help to the increase of the population.
This is an expression of social pluralism, and it is also a rationalization of the humanistic system.
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Fifth: Isn't childbearing out of wedlock shifting demographic pressure to women?
Population growth is negative, which is well known.
Open up unmarried childbirth, let women have children alone and raise children, and the increase in population is based on the premise that women work hard alone.
That's how I see this statement.
Who can have children out of wedlock? Economy, ideology, personality, sound and independent women, is the social basis of unmarried childbearing.
Whether married or unmarried, children are not meant to be born.
Out-of-wedlock childbearing is open, but not forced. You don't need to, and you don't meet the prerequisites for raising children alone, so you don't need to care about this policy.
To be sure, having women have children can indeed boost some population growth. This is a social interest.
But women are sometimes a little narrow-minded, and their win-win thinking and altruistic thinking are relatively thin.
If someone else makes a suggestion, it is good for him, it is good for you, and it is not forced on you;
Under such a premise, don't be stingy and think: only you suffer.
Win-win means that you have to be advantageous, and others have to be advantageous. Altruism, sometimes is self-interest.
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Sixth: Will having children out of wedlock make many people exploit moral loopholes?
Once the birth of children out of wedlock is implemented, then the illegitimate child has a reasonable source, isn't it the bosom of the third and second grandmothers? This is a moral flaw.
There is indeed such a flaw.
Even if there is no reasonable birth out of wedlock, can the moral problems of marriage be avoided? Nor can it.
From a political point of view, the lesser of two evils.
Moreover, politics does not interfere well with the emotions and morals of marriage.
Emotional betrayal, in marriage law, is the slightest treatment.
The level of morality needs to rely on education. The depth of emotions needs to rely on the human heart and human nature.
Neither of these can be achieved by political means.
Politics is only for political things. The openness of having children out of wedlock is a political decision.
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Seventh: Is the family atmosphere of both parents more conducive to the physical and mental growth of children?
Unmarried childbirth faces a problem: without the participation of the father, can a single mother raise a child?
Why are single-parent families always criticized?
People, with a commonality, are always skeptical of rare, unknown things.
The biggest reason why single-parent families are criticized is not at all that there is one less mother or father, but that this form of society is not the norm.
For abnormal things, people are distrustful and love to find fault.
The core of children's education lies not in the perfection of family members, but more in the parents' personal thinking, insight, economy, and ability to manage love.
There are too many incomplete families, some children grow up well, some children grow up poorly.
There are also many complete families, and some children learn well, and some children learn badly.
Some people ask, how do you deal with the child's question: Why do my classmates have a dad and I don't?
For a long time, the traditional concept has been solidifying a parent-child form, that is, both parents.
When all children have parents, it is strange if they do not.
But if some people have mom and dad, and some people only have mom or dad, it's all data in the environment, will the child still question?
No. Because no one is specialized.
Unmarried childbearing is a trend, and any pioneering strategy requires time to be constantly studied, discussed, and optimized.
Perhaps, it is not yet mature, and there are still many drawbacks that have not been perfected. But as more people choose, it becomes universal.
Problems that seem like problems at the moment are no longer problems.
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Finally, to reiterate, having children out of wedlock is a choice, a return to the right to freedom, and it is not a reason for us to desecrate marriage or demean men.
At the same time, women's increasing power means you have more responsibility.
Otherwise, the return of power is not the beginning of happiness, but the abyss of traps.
This requires you to enrich yourself and be strong and independent. We cannot covet the welfare of the new era with the ideas of the old society.
Whatever people want to pursue, there is nothing wrong with it. The premise is that you have to be able to hold it, and when you can't afford it, you must learn to put it down.
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Good class recommended
The powerful brain makes us accustomed to rational thinking and controlling emotions, but excessive suppression makes many people start to be anxious and depressed. The better, the more anxious.
Why, the body becomes a machine that only works? Life becomes like a pool of stagnant water? Why are we no longer full of passion and vitality like the ancients?
Perhaps we should go back to the beginning of life and look at the essence of dance - free expression, free dancing body in the field, and regaining that very simple, special essence of vitality.
A flower does not shy, a tree does not have the puzzle of dancing, we have forgotten ourselves for a long time ...
Then follow the modern dance master Gao Yanjinzi to dance, let go of the standard, let go of the stereotype, let go of all the constraints imposed on us, and express freely.
Rejuvenate and energize your body, this is what you want, and this is what modern dance is after.
Only by letting go of the brain can life fully open up. - Tsuko Gao
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Introduction: "Age is a Rumor" is a new collection of essays by writer Zhou Guoping after seven years of absence. The author has realized his life and shared his thoughts and interpretations with readers from different dimensions of spirit, self, life, culture, literature, reading, education and philosophy. More than 70 years of life wisdom has personally conveyed: age is a rumor, just as it does not exist, people live in the present, the current state is young, is young. No matter what age people are, there is only one thing they should do and can do, and that is to live every day.
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