Before giving birth to a child, see those who already have a baby, dress the baby very fashionably, often take the baby to the park, visit the supermarket, a family of three happy and harmonious, especially envious.
When I really had children, I found that life was not as I imagined, the original happy marriage, but now it is getting worse and worse, and even full of disappointment in the future!
Before and after having a baby vs after having a baby
Before having children, most couples have a very easy life, going to work every day, finding a nearby restaurant after work, and eating something delicious. After eating and drinking, go to a movie, or visit the night market, go home and do housework together, play games, and linger before going to bed, relaxed and happy.
After giving birth, women because of the sudden decline in hormone levels, mood began to become unstable, a little thing will be angry, sulking. Considering that they can't go to work, the family's income begins to decrease, and the burden of raising children will always be a stone in the chest.
Because of the weakness of the body, it takes a long time to recover, coupled with the daily care of the children, it is difficult to sleep a peaceful sleep, so the mental state is very bad, so I do not want to have sex with my husband.
If a mother-in-law comes to help, she may be able to reduce some of the burden on her physical strength, but the sweet world of the little couple before is definitely gone. With the mother-in-law at home, those crazy, lazy and idle lives will certainly not dare, if there is a contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, then the life will be really difficult.
The negative impact of having children on marriage
1. The focus of life has shifted
Before giving birth, the wife has her own social circle, has her own personal hobbies, and after giving birth, the focus of life all shifts to the child. The husband originally had a personal hobby, but now he has all transferred to work, in order to make more money.
In the past, the couple often went swimming, fitness, reading, and traveling, and basically disappeared after giving birth. In addition to taking care of the children, the wife only wants to brush up on small videos and visit shopping sites for the rest of the time. The husband has free time, just wants to lie on the sofa and play a few games, and life begins to be boring.
2. Economic pressure has increased
As soon as the child is born, the parents begin to "roll", everyone often shares baby products with each other, others have it, they have to have it, the more you are willing to spend money, the more you love your children.
All kinds of baby products, almost every day can watch the money flowing out, although their own income is not high, but as long as it is spent on children, basically do not blink.
Incomes are decreasing, spending is increasing, and thinking about the funds that children may need to go to kindergarten, primary school, and education are all in front of us. Therefore, this pressure in the heart can be imagined.
3. Absence of conjugal life
According to the survey, women's pregnancy and postpartum are the highest incidence of male infidelity, and the core reason is the absence of couple life during this time.
Husband and wife life is a physiological need, no one should say that they are so noble, no matter how high the spiritual realm, they cannot escape the physiological needs. It's like eating when you're hungry, it's okay to endure one or two meals, let you endure for three days, can you do it?
After having children, many couples began to sleep in separate beds and rooms, coupled with the wife's indifference to the life of the husband and wife, often rejecting the needs of the husband, resulting in a cold war and contradictions between husband and wife.
Even after some couples have children, they gradually enter a sexless marriage, and the relationship between husband and wife is gradually estranged, and the feelings are getting weaker and weaker.
4. Contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
If both husband and wife have stable jobs, then someone will definitely need someone to help take care of the child after having a child. However, most families cannot afford to hire a nanny, so they must let the parents of one of the spouses help, and the most common in life is the mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law relationship is the most common and difficult problem in all families, and it plagues most couples.
Because there is no blood relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it is two generations, there must be a big gap in living habits, and contradictions are inevitable. If the husband can be a conciliator in the middle, if the husband is to his mother, then the relationship between husband and wife will certainly face great challenges.
Is it not possible to get married, or to get married to do dink, to solve this problem?
Of course not, if you risk being an unmarried person, or being a dink, in order to avoid these problems, it is obviously evading the problem.
We find problems for the purpose of solving them better, not to escape.
When you know in advance that you may encounter similar problems after having children, you will have a good attitude to face when you actually encounter that problem. For example, after having a child, pay more attention to the other half, take the initiative to find fun in life, save an education fund in advance, and plan living expenses in advance.
Maintaining a normal frequency of couple life, lying in front of the husband, and giving the wife some small surprises can increase the feelings between husband and wife.
Even if there is a contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must take the initiative to seek a solution, because life always has to go on, do not hold the anger in your heart. Of course, the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law mainly depends on the husband, the clever husband "cheats" at both ends, and the stupid husband "passes" on both ends.
How many couples, after having children, there is a crisis in the marriage, please leave a comment in the comment area!