Some people say that how a woman's life is lived is determined by three things: money, appearance, and marriage.
The French thinker Rousseau said: "The money in our hands is a tool for maintaining freedom." ”
When a woman has money, she has the confidence, outside the marriage, she can buy what she wants, enjoy high-quality love; in marriage, she can follow her heart without having to worry about it, and live with dignity.
A woman's good looks are an advantage and can get more resources and opportunities.
If a woman marries well, she can not only improve her living conditions, but also promote her mother's family.
According to this saying, a rich and good-looking woman can "lie down and win" no matter what era.
But in the world famous book "Tall Old Man", women with these three characteristics without exception have all fallen into the abyss of life.
01.
In The Tall Old Man, Madame De Beauséon is the last daughter of the Royal Family of Pugaune, a true nobleman, married to the equally eminent Viscount Beauséon.
She was beautiful in appearance and temperament, and was a leader of Parisian high society.
Dignitaries were proud to be present in her living room, and the ladies and ladies regarded her dress as a trend vane.
She fell in love with the Marquis of Arguda Panto, one of Portugal's most famous and wealthy nobles, and her husband was so "generous" that he would settle her and her lover and walk away every time.
However, her lover abandoned her for money and married the rich Lady Rochfier, making her the laughing stock and talking point of the whole of Paris. She had to withdraw from parisian social circles and live in seclusion in the Normandy countryside.
The eldest daughter of the tall old man, Anastazzi (hereinafter referred to as Nazi), with a plump but not fat figure, a beautiful face, known as one of the most beautiful beauties in Paris, married to the hereditary noble count of Resto, from the daughter of a flour merchant to a countess, a popularity.
After marriage, Nazi fell in love with the aristocratic young Maxine, who was addicted to gambling and owed a hundred thousand francs, and in order to pay off his debts, Nazi sold her in-laws' heirloom diamonds and squeezed out the last penny of her father's money, but Maxine abandoned her after sucking her blood dry. Her husband, knowing that she had an affair, remained silent until she was cornered and used his killer skills to force her to give up ownership of the dowry property.
In the end, Naqi was discredited, trembling under her husband's obscenity, the upper class looked down on her, her son hated her, her husband accused her of being a daughter and not filial piety, when the wife did not observe the way of women, when the mother would not educate her children, her family's fields, real estate, and even the mansion where she lived fell into the hands of the usurers, and almost forced to die by the usurers.
The youngest daughter of the tall old man, Dan fina (I wrote Delfina in the first part, this one was written for word count), was beautiful and married to the banker Baron Neutzingen.
After marriage, her husband stole her property to support his mistress, invested in real estate, bought and sold short, and once forced her to the point of bankruptcy.
Her lover, Rastigné, was manipulated by her husband and, in The Councilor of Arce, married her biological daughter.
The former couple became mother-in-law and son-in-law, which shows how tragic her fate is.
02.
So, how did these three women play a good hand?
First of all, it has to do with their homeschooling.
For a long time, people have sanctified and exaggerated the fatherly love of the old man, saying that he "shows the noble fatherly love of mankind", and even Balzac himself said that the old man was "a holy martyr of Christianity".
But in fact, the fatherly love of the tall old man is neither simple nor great.
He is a typical case of family education failure.
The tall old man came from a humble background and was very fond and adored of his wife, and after his wife's early death, he transferred his love for his wife to his two daughters, just as a man treated his mistress or wife, and responded to his daughters' needs.
"I love them so much that I go back to accommodate them every time, as if the gambling stick can't be separated from the casino." My hobbies, my mistresses, all I have, are two daughters. ”
"He would lie at his daughter's feet, kiss her feet, stare into her eyes for half a day, rub his head against her dress; in short he would be as mad as a very young and gentle lover."
The tall old man would envy the horses that pulled the carts for his daughters, the puppies on their knees, and in order to get money for their daughters, he was willing to steal, to rob, to become a soldier, to kill and set fires like Voltareng.
He regarded himself as an appendage to his daughters, and his love for them reached a point of perverse and incomprehensible.
This deformed, morbid, self-erasing love makes it impossible for him to become a proper father.
As he himself said: "Everything is my fault, I indulged them to stomp me under my feet." ”
He never taught his daughters to be grateful, so they lacked genuine love and understanding for him. What was given back to him was to talk to him patiently, kiss him lightly, and say a few good words.
"Gorio's pleasure consists only in satisfying the fantasies of his daughters, and as long as he opens his mouth, the most extravagant desires will satisfy them..."
When his daughters grew up, he was bent on marrying them into high society in order to make himself respected and flattered.
He let his daughters learn the talents of high society, dressed them up in pearlescent fashion, and lured the children of nobles to the social arena, and under his words and deeds, the two daughters' views of marriage and love were seriously deviated.
The tall old man is an upstart, the pattern is small, can not adapt to the change of the times, has no interest in life, and will only use money to express his love. After his daughters got married, every time they encountered a problem, he used money to help them solve it, rather than cultivating their problem-solving skills.
Under such coddling, the two daughters do not have the ability to manage their marriage and the means to defend their property, and will only compete for the wind and jealousy, and squander it.
In the "Biography of Zhen Huan", Zhen Huan said to Concubine Jing: "The motherly heart really makes people blind and blinded. ”
The fatherly heart of the tall old man also blinded himself and blinded himself.
Under the influence of the wrong view of money, marriage and love, and values, the lives of Nazi and Danfera inevitably lead to tragedy.
So, but What Finner said to his father was not without reason: "I am in the mud pit, and perhaps it is also your fault." We didn't have brains when we got married! Society, buying and selling, men, character, which one do we understand? Fathers should think about it on our behalf. Dear Father, I am not complaining about you, forgive me for saying such things. Everything is my fault. ”
03.
Everyone scolded the daughter of the tall old man for being ungrateful, but those who had a heart could see more things from it.
For example, the old man sold his shop, took out his life savings, gave his daughters a huge dowry of one million francs each, and asked for the signing of an agreement on industrial autonomy and the establishment of a separate trust fund before marriage. After marriage, their property is still misappropriated, mortgaged, and embezzled by their husbands.
For example, when they first got married, the two sons-in-law thought that the old man's family was rich and very courteous to him, but as soon as they heard that the old man had only a few tens of thousands of francs left, they immediately threw him out and forbade him to visit his daughter again. Forcing him to rent a poor and dilapidated apartment. The irony is that the mansion where the sons-in-law live is still repaired by the old man who paid for it.
Nazi and Danferna are shiny on the surface, but in fact have no property autonomy.
But Fina had only seventy francs in his purse, and Nazi had to borrow money to buy clothes, so the two had to squeeze out the original family again and again.
For example, the old man and the son-in-law fight each other.
The eldest son-in-law of the old man said, "I have no good feelings for Mr. Gorio. He taught my wife badly and caused misfortune to my family. I regard him as an enemy who disturbs my tranquility. Whether he dies or lives, I don't care at all. You see, this is my affection for him. Society can blame me, and I don't care. What I have to deal with now is much more important than worrying about the gossip of the fools. As for my wife, she can't go out like that now, and I won't let her go out..."
Before his death, the old man said to Rastigné, "If you love your daughters, you cannot marry them." The son-in-law is the villain who destroyed his daughter, and he insults everything. Never get married again! Marriage robs our daughters and teaches us that we can't see our daughters when we are dying. For the sake of his father's death, a law should be made. It was horrible! Revenge, revenge! My son-in-law didn't allow them to come. Kill them! Kill Resto! Kill Neuchingen! They are my murderers! If you don't pay my daughters back, you'll take their lives!" ”
After the death of the old man, the two sons-in-law refused to pay the funeral expenses and did not allow the two daughters to attend their father's funeral.
It all vividly shows people:
In the struggle between patriarchy and husband's power, no matter which side wins, it will not be women who benefit.
Women are sandwiched in the middle, it is a tool, a commodity, a chip, a carrier, and it is just a waste of shame.
The game between patriarchy and husband continues to this day, always ending in the victory of patriarchy. Then the husband's power becomes the patriarchal power, and the male power continues to live.
The husband's side is more chicken thief, does not abide by the rules of the transaction, will always be like the son-in-law of the tall old man, trying to rob the woman's father's assets, doing everything possible to separate women from the father's family, domesticating women are not allowed to take care of the mother's family, and also have to stand on the moral high ground, in turn accusing women of filial piety, cold-blooded and ruthless.
Some time ago, the case of the UP owner of a B station "did not have a 500,000 bride price, and the girlfriend was forcibly dragged away by her parents" is the best example.
04.
But Fina said to Rastigné, "If you are not afraid of shame, my love is better than my filial piety." I don't know why. My whole life is in you. My father gave me a heart, but with you, it will jump. The whole world blames me, and I don't care! You have no right to hate me, and I have committed sins for irresistible feelings, as long as you can atone for me. Do you think of me as a daughter without a conscience? Oh no. How can we not love a good dad like us? But the inevitable consequences of our lamentable marriage, can I hide it from him? Why didn't he stop us in the first place? Shouldn't he be there for us? Today I learned that he was as miserable as we were; but what could be done? Comfort him? There is no consolation. Clench your teeth and endure? That made him worse than our reproach and complaints. There are some situations in life, and everything is sad. ”
After the death of her father, Nazi fell into a deep confession: "I deceived the only one who hurt me!" I failed him, I forsaken him, I gave him all my suffering, I, the damn man! ”
Nazi and Danferna love vanity and indulge in pleasure, but they are not guilty of the greatest evil.
In the final analysis, what pushes them to the road of no return is their hopeless "love brain".
In the parisian high society of the nineteenth century, the aristocracy generally believed that marriage and love were two different things.
Men and women can marry because of money, property, and land, and then find love outside of marriage, so that they can get both the luxurious life of the upper class and the pure love.
But in this way, the status of women is actually lower: in the eyes of her husband, she is a money bag and a mascot to be taken out, and in the eyes of her lover, she is also the object of money bags and catharsis. The more they talk about love, the more ignorant they become. ”
During the marriage, Madame De Beauséjon, Nazi, and Fina's husband each had mistresses and treated them only as money bags and mascots.
But outside of marriage, their love is also full of copper smell.
Madame De Beauséon's lover marries an ugly-looking but million-dollar dowry rich man, and Nazi's lover is gambling-obsessed, but Fina's lover Eugena Rastigne is a little white face who wants to get himself ahead by clinging to a noblewoman. It's just that he is younger than Nazi's lover, not yet completely corrupted by money and desire, and still has a trace of conscience.
05.
In addition to the wrong family education, the distorted three views, the love brain, marriage, and social atmosphere are also the key to the misfortune of women.
"A man who steals a hundred francs is convicted of the felony of parade in the streets, while a man like Neuchengen who deceives many poor people becomes a hero in the social scene."
"Laws and morality are ineffective against rich people, and property is the golden rule."
"No matter how bad people say about high society, no satirical writer can write about the ugliness hidden under the gold and silver jewelry."
Balzac presents the ordinary sins of real society, the filth of interests, the danger of emotions, the darkness of people's hearts, etc., all before our eyes, in addition to letting us feel the social atmosphere of that era, he also hopes that we can reflect on ourselves through the characters: If we are in such a torrent, how should we live this life?
Balzac said in Gaubsek: "Look, Camille, that's how the young woman's family fell into the abyss. Sometimes just dancing, singing a song at the piano, or going on an outing can lead to great disasters. Encouraged by vanity and arrogance, credulously believing in a smile, or because of madness, or because of confusion, they will be discredited. Shame, remorse and poverty, these are the three goddesses in hell, and as soon as the women have a fault, they must immediately fall into the hands of these three goddesses..."
Women are not easy, it is even more difficult to live well, family and society, we can not choose, but there is a way to continue to be educated, can accompany us throughout life, that is, self-education.
So, if you have the opportunity to get an education, I hope you can continue to improve academically. No matter what kind of relationship, the essence is exchange, you have your own value, you have the capital to exchange with others.
You can pursue love, the pursuit of a confidant can make you pour out your chest, expose your shortcomings and advantages without being afraid of being betrayed, but before love germinates, you must first learn to beware of this society and see through people's hearts.
You can pursue money, but not just for a life of luxury, but to get yourself back.
Luxurious life, the surface is brilliant, in fact, will make your heart be eaten by regret, the result of short-term joy is not worth the loss, bringing long-term pain and suffering, pain can not get out of the entanglement.
Don't be a slave to money, don't do whatever it takes for money, but you should use money as a ladder to pursue higher quality spiritual enjoyment.
Liu Yiru wrote in "Women Just Want to Be Rich": "There are many women who only have one way to manage their money in their lives, that is, to find a [long-term meal ticket] and think that their future must be attached to men. But looking for long-term meal tickets, there are also financial risks, in addition to considering the [validity period] of the meal tickets, you also have to bear the risk of attracting the opposite sex by appearance, marriage is certainly not an absolute guarantee for the future. ”
Before entering marriage, you must understand that marriage is not an absolute guarantee of happiness, after entering marriage, you must maintain financial independence, personality independence, do not be carried away by a moment of stability, and give up self-growth.
Don't think that taking shortcuts can reach the happy end faster, in fact, every shortcut is full of traps that will make you fall into the abyss of doom.
Finally, I would like to give balzac's words to everyone:
"The world is like a mud pit, try to stay on a high place."