Yesterday, I saw that Bai Baihe and Tong Dawei's new drama "Our Marriage" was launched, and I watched 5 episodes out of curiosity, and the whole person was not good.
On the surface, this drama tells the story of the return of full-time housewives to the workplace, and has been praised by many people for standing on the cool point of view of women.
In fact, the plot is not something that will be deeply rooted in the hearts of the people if you talk about the feminist rhetoric of the tall.
The heroine Shen Yanxing has nothing to do with the housewife who is troubled inside and outside the reality and is precarious.
She is another Gu Jia: a high-achieving student at a top university, and the lead singer of a rock band, who can repair electrical appliances, can also subdue bear children, sharp teeth, shrewd and capable...
In the play, she has a line: "Settle for family or return to the workplace, every choice can shine brightly." ”
Many people recite it as a golden sentence, but in my opinion, it is just a poisonous chicken soup.
Whether in society or in the family, economic values determine status and allocate resources.
Especially women, don't think that you can give everything you can to support your husband at home in exchange for equal discourse rights with men, and don't plaster the world with a rose-colored phantom.
Think about it, why do men like to get their wives back into the family?
Balzac made this clear in the Physiology of Marriage two hundred years ago.
01.
"Our Marriage" begins with the scene of the heroine Shen Yanxing and her husband Sheng Jiangchuan moving to a new home.
As we all know, moving to a new house is a very tiring and laborious thing.
From looking at the house, comparing the geographical location, house quality, price, commuting time, to setting the moving date, to sorting things out, then to setting the moving company, and finally to cleaning the new home, etc., everything is too big and complicated, it is not something that one person can accomplish at all.
The male protagonist Sheng Jiangchuan from the house to buy a house to move, never managed, in order not to go home to pack things, he also deliberately lied on the phone that he had a large customer invitation can not get out, let Shen Yanxing deal with it alone. At night, I was even so drunk that I couldn't even find my home.
However, he put all the credit for his new home on himself: "Your husband and I are a living guide to good men, and I have single-handedly led our whole family to achieve consumption upgrades." Our whole family has jumped up a class, do you know how hard it is? You say your husband is not strong? ”
After moving to a new home, Sheng Jiangchuan was touted by many people, and the whole person was fluttering, and he spoke in front of his wife with a sense of superiority.
There was a small empty room in the house, and he wanted to use it as his own game room, but Shen Yanxing wanted to use it as his music room. In order to grab the room, he took advantage of his work and went through the back door to ask Shen For an invitation to the concert.
In fact, he didn't care what his wife was doing, he just wanted to take this opportunity to get her to give up the idea of making music at home and give him the room to play games.
After the failure of this routine, he came to another bad trick: taking advantage of Shen Comet's kung fu practicing in the hut, he quietly called the property to complain, after the property came to the door, Shen Comet felt that his voice was not loud, not to disturb the people, ready to explain to the property, but he deliberately arched in front of the property, pretended to maintain his wife, quarreled with the property, successfully angered the property, let the property issue a notice, and did not allow the owner to use musical instruments to disturb the people.
Fortunately, Shen Yanxing learned from the courier brother that the community sound insulation is very good, and the foreigners downstairs have not been complained about the party, and his routine has not succeeded.
Shen Yanxing wanted to go out to work, Sheng Jiangchuan disagreed, in order to make his wife give up this idea, he began a new round of routines, first criticizing his wife with words, and then scolding his colleagues when his colleagues praised Shen Yanxing, in order to express his dissatisfaction with his wife. When Shen Found a Job, he blamed her for not consulting with him and going out to work privately.
On the grounds that his daughter needs to be taken care of, he asks Shen Yanxing to sacrifice his work to stay at home, Shen Yanxing accuses him of selfishness, and she has to sacrifice everything to support his success, he is ashamed and angry, and says a lot of ugly things to his wife, saying that her is useless and worthless.
Later, when he learned that Dong Sijia had hired Shen Yanxing, he deliberately tried to snatch Dong Sijia's project to retaliate against Dong Sijia.
It is such a hypocritical, arrogant, unconcerned wife's preferences and body and mind, not caring about his wife's face and dignity, completely self-centered man, but many people consider it a "good man".
02.
I especially hate Sheng Jiang Chuan for reporting his wife's behavior.
Between husband and wife, when encountering problems or contradictions, they should be resolved from the incident itself, but Sheng Jiangchuan uses the most extreme methods to use reports to achieve the goal, which is really hateful and spurned.
But I didn't expect that the barrage praised him for his "wit":
"Sheng Jiang Chuan actually pretended to be a neighbor to report his wife, I have to say, this married man's small routine makes him very experienced, I don't know if this small method will be more and more in the future?"
"On the surface of maintaining his wife, in fact, the person who reported it is himself, which is really a sense of joy and resentment, and sure enough, after marriage, they are all acting schools!"
"Sheng Jiang Chuan is too witty, I want to learn from him."
I'm going to throw up.
Shen Yanxing said that being a full-time wife is "first of all, you must have a beautiful vision and ideals to know which track is suitable for you", but when she went out to work, she found that her husband just regarded her as an ordinary housewife.
In the eyes of men, whether it is a high-achieving student of a famous school, the lead singer of the band, the general manager of the company, or the queen, after returning to the family, it is all the same: housewife.
In society, people treat women and men with two more standards.
Men have a career, and then take care of the family, this is a good man that can not be found in heaven and earth, women have a career, and then take care of the family, is a serious dereliction of duty, not worthy of being a wife and mother of bad women.
Men going home to see their children is called "sacrificing for the family", and women giving up their good careers to become housewives are called "returning to the family".
For example, when Shen Yanxing was interviewed by Huo Liankai, Huo Liankai asked her very old-fashionedly, "how to weigh family and career."
For example, Shen Yanxing's father, he approved of his daughter going out to work, but in front of Shen Yanxing's stepmother, he deliberately talked about his daughter's concerns about finding a job, in order not to let his stepmother learn to go out to find a job.
He said to his daughter, "When Sheng Candy grows up and says that he is going to be a full-time wife for someone else, Sheng Jiang Chuan must not jump to his feet in a hurry." ”
How ironic!
What is more ironic?
In the eyes of many people, Sheng Jiang Chuan is already the best among the vast majority of men.
It is a lot of scheming poor men, who do not have the wealth of Shengjiangchuan, but they are as selfish as Shengjiangchuan, forcing their wives to become housewives.
Jiang Jing, another female protagonist in the play, in order to fulfill her parents' wish to go abroad, took the risk of doing difficult work when she went to yoga class and let herself fall into the hospital. And she used such a tortuous method to deceive her husband, just because she had no income as a full-time wife at home.
"Eating people with short mouths and soft hands on people is the pain point of full-time mothers." I have no income, I can only reach out for money, the money spent on the child is better to say, to spend the money on myself, then I have to find an excuse, if you spend the money on the mother's family, it is almost the same as the beggar who reaches out for money. ”
The most ironic thing is that Jiang Jingming knows that it is not easy to stay at home, but he looks down on Li Yuwen, a father with children full-time, and thinks that his work ability is definitely inferior to his wife, so he is willing to eat soft rice at home.
03.
In my opinion, the argument that "every choice can shine brightly" in the play, the old routine of the husband cheating on his wife to beat the little three, and the full-time mother who has no work experience and has been out of touch with society for 6 years will soon find the ideal job, and the bridge section (estimated) will mislead many people.
200 years ago, in "Marriage Physiology", Balzac stood in the position of men, both examples and statistics and arguments, and wrote about men's mental mechanisms: "The fate of a woman and her only glory is to win the hearts of men." She was a property that people acquired through marriage; it was a movable property, because she had a certificate because she possessed it; to be precise, she was only an appendage of a man. ”
"A woman must be forbidden to be educated and educated, she must be forbidden to do anything that will develop her personality, she must be forced to wear uncomfortable clothes, and she must be encouraged to follow a diet that causes anemia."
"Don't worry about her complaints, cries, pain; Nature made her for our use in order to bear everything: children, boredom, beatings and punishment by men. ”
He believes that in order to better control his wife, men should skillfully confine her to the home while making her unconscious and even happy.
"A woman becomes a slave when she gets married, but you have to know how to make her queen."
His contemporaries, the economist Proudhon, also advocated the demotion of decent women to the home, to the status of dependence on men. "Be a housewife or be a prostitute" is the choice he offers for women.
Proudhon, like all opponents of women's rights, warmly praised the "real woman," the woman in slavery, the shadow of the man, but his wife belonged to the "real woman" faction, and he did not make her happy.
In nineteenth-century France, middle-class women knew men's calculations, but they were reluctant to get rid of this golden rope, because once they were free of the rope, they had to work like female workers and fight in society.
In China more than two hundred years later, countless men agreed with Balzac, but more than he was a chicken thief.
Balzac at least thought of building a golden rope for a woman, and the man in reality wanted the woman to bring her own gold rope and rush into the sleeve.
They bargain in marriage and splurge outside of marriage. In the family, there is only promise outside the family.
The world never teaches women how to see the truth clearly, and film and television dramas and some literary and artistic works will only pour poisonous chicken soup on girls, telling them that as long as you have a good time, the world will be gentle with you.
In fact, the world likes silly white sweetness the most, because it can eat you dry and wipe it out, knock the bone and suck the pulp.
Many women impose their dreams of love and marriage on men, elevating men's conscience and love to the supreme standard - to escape the blade of reality, to escape the fact that they lack courage, vitality and competitiveness, and to shrink in a paper paste golden house and dream of "princess" and "princess".
And I can't get used to seeing everything, telling false lies, coaxing women into becoming "people in the set".
Actor Ma Yili said: "Women are easy to get lost behind work and family, in fact, in our life, first of all, we become ourselves." ”
Women's potential is unlimited, women's world is vast, women should create colorful and colorful images, such as Gu Ailing, who challenges the limit, Wang Yaping who goes to space, Tu Youyou, who dedicates herself to science, Zhang Guimei, who teaches and educates, and female soldiers who defend their homes and defend the country.
Girls should scramble, grow wildly, unleash unlimited energy, and dream wild dreams, rather than staying at home and being sacrificed for the family by serving tea and pouring water for the "habit" of breaking their wings.