Text/Junior High School, Jiang Zuo Meiniang
Psychologist David Bass said:
"In every man's blood, there is a desire for sexual encounters, and flower hearts can be said to be the default settings for men."
It means that men are in the mood to see one and love the other, which is their nature.
But it's not.
The neighbor Dongge looks handsome and golden, although he is more than half a hundred years old, he has good maintenance, and looks much younger than his actual age, which attracts many young girls.
His wife Sasha looks ordinary and short, and looks like Brother Dong is not at all suitable.
But Dongge has always been affectionate and dedicated to his wife Sasha. Married to Sasha for 20 years, I always say that no matter how good the women outside are, they can't compare to Sasha.
Usually busy, Sasha will find time to exercise every day, dancing for 25 years, her body is well managed, and the whole person looks spirited and temperamental.
At work, Sasha is serious and meticulous, helping Dongge manage the company, handling a lot of tricky affairs, and winning a lot of business.
In private, she and Dong Ge are very "little women" together, and from time to time she creates surprises for Dong Ge.
Married for 20 years, the two are still like a couple in love.
From Sasha, I saw a truth:
If you want to capture a man's heart, the most important thing is to know how to "change" and learn to "change".
How to change? You can refer to the following four aspects.
01. "Change" in appearance and image, be a changeable woman
Many girls wear makeup when they are single to increase their confidence and attractiveness. Girls in love are also willing to "please themselves".
But after entering the marriage, it is slack. Especially after giving birth, he rarely paid attention to his external image, often had messy hair and wore his clothes indiscriminately.
In fact, men are mostly visual animals. They all want their wives to be as beautiful as flowers and make their eyes shine.
In the movie "The Predecessor 2", at the beginning, Izawa did not pay attention to dressing up at all, cut his hair short, wore neutral clothes, and was a tomboy.
Such a she is unremarkable, even if she is talented and serious and responsible, she is often overlooked and her career stagnates.
She had an underground affair with the big star Yu Fei, and she regarded Yu Fei as true love, but Yu Fei fell in love with Yi Ze with a playful mentality, and after getting tired of playing, he dumped Yi Ze.
After falling out of love, Ize, under the guidance of the master, decided to change his appearance.
She changed from the plainly dressed, scruffy bubble noodle girl to the graceful and graceful director Ozawa, who is the focus wherever she goes.
Yu Fei was shocked to see the changed Ize, always thinking about her in his mind, and then chasing her madly. In this way, Izzy changed from a "spare tire" to a "goddess".
Maybe there will be girls who think that in order to please men to dress up beautifully, they are looking down on themselves, or think that if they are attracted because of their beauty, men will not be true love for themselves, but in fact, dressing up beautifully is more to make themselves beautiful, besides, men's love for women can mostly "start with appearance", you are not attractive to him in terms of appearance, how to let him see your beautiful heart!
After the change, Izzy not only reaped love, but also ushered in the peak of his career.
So, change yourself appropriately, the ugly duckling can also become a white swan, and maybe there will be unexpected surprises.
02. "Change" internally and be a cultivated person
Someone said:
"The outside determines how long the two people are together, and the inside determines how long the two people are together."
If a person has an empty appearance and gets along for a long time, it will inevitably make people bored.
And a knowledgeable and connotative woman will make men have a desire to explore.
Just like Sasha above, graduated from a prestigious university and has strong work ability, but she did not stop there.
After marriage, she insisted on reading books and MBA courses every day to continuously improve her professional knowledge in all aspects.
From astronomy and geography to international current affairs to common knowledge of life, she can talk about it in a variety of ways.
Dong Ge said that after so many years of marriage, the couple still kept chatting before going to bed every night, and every time Sasha could always give Dong Ge various opinions and suggestions, so that Dong Ge Mao suddenly opened up and gained something.
Dong Ge said that Sasha is not only his wife, but also his mentor in life, guiding him to go higher and better.
It is often said that "there is poetry in the belly", a woman with culture and connotation, no matter when will be favored by men, this intellectual charm is exuded from the depths of the heart, and will not decay over time.
Men definitely want to have a common topic with their partner and be able to talk.
Therefore, learn more to improve yourself and enrich your insightful thinking, but do not be stubborn and learn to be flexible. Make a man feel like a spring breeze with you, in a new world every day, he will naturally like to stick to you.
03. "Change" in temperament and be a multi-faceted person
No matter what age a man is, passion and freshness are needed in marriage.
Women always think that after marriage, they will help their husbands take care of everything in the house and be a virtuous wife, and they will be cherished and favored by their husbands.
It must be known that after a long time, the husband feels that such a wife is a very boring housewife, without sexual interest, and has lost the passion of love.
In the TV series "The Temptation to Go Home", Lin Pinru was a typical traditional woman at the beginning, who gave a lot for her family and husband.
She is dressed simply, plain and faced, a typical image of a housewife. Coupled with a weak personality and only promises to do things, the whole person looks lifeless. In the face of the difficulties of her in-laws and her flowery husband, she was submissive and has been silently enduring grievances.
This kind of she made her husband feel bored, and after meeting Ellie, a woman who was completely different from Lin Pinru, he was immediately attracted to it.
Until her husband and Ellie designed to drown in the sea, she was reborn and determined to change herself and come back to take revenge on her husband.
Fashionable hairstyle, exquisite makeup, high-end elegant dress and generous and decent manners, coupled with her lustful and indulgent means, are completely different from the original forest products.
Even if he has the same face as the original Lin Pinru, Hong Shixian is like a demon on her now, and he can even give up everything for her.
Men like to hunt, just like playing games to break the level, because they don't know what the next level will look like, which will attract him to continue to indulge.
Therefore, if you want to capture a man's heart, it is not blindly inferiority to please, nor is it vexatious, let yourself be willful, but learn to change your temperament, the originally serious and dull person becomes cheerful and lively, I believe that such a change will definitely make the other party's eyes shine.
04. "Change" in the way you get along and be a vivid and interesting person
Mr. Lu Xun once wrote in an article:
"The most torturous thing in marriage is not conflict, but boredom."
After marriage, fixed living habits, unchanged mode of getting along, for a long time, the two people are more like partners with their own duties, and the plain married life cannot stir up a ripple.
The two people are familiar like left hand touching right hand, which makes both parties have no passion and expectations for each other. Once you encounter a little "fresh stimulus", you may face betrayal and separation.
There is an episode of "Gold Mediation", which is very impressive.
The husband said that he felt that his wife had a gentle personality, virtuous and virtuous, and was very suitable for being a wife, and not long after the two fell in love, they got married.
But after ten years of marriage, the same life, the lifeless atmosphere, he was tired and tired. So he wanted to divorce and escape this backwater marriage.
The wife feels aggrieved, she takes care of the family, serves her in-laws, educates her children, and works hard for the family, but she is treated as such by her husband.
The husband said that he had time and wanted to take his wife out to live the world of two, but the wife said that it was expensive to consume outside, and it was good to eat at home;
The husband said that he was very busy at work and often had to socialize, but his wife often called him to urge him to go home;
The husband said that the two people had no other topics every day except to ask "what to eat today" and "what time will they come back", and the two could not talk together.
There are many more such examples. From the husband's complaint, everyone learned that the wife was a serious, unsmiling person. She believes that when she gets married, she doesn't have to do so many tricks, and it is enough to take care of the family and educate the children well.
Finally, under the analysis and enlightenment of the mediator, the couple reconciled as before. The wife also understands that married life needs to be managed, and she needs to be "changeable".
Later, the wife learns to respond to her husband's needs and ask her husband out for romance; Attend more parties, expand your social circle, and regain the piano that has been abandoned for many years and focus on yourself; Learn to be nice to yourself, improve your charm and so on.
Such a "change", the wife has more smiles, confidence and independence, more tolerance and understanding of her husband, and the husband and wife have regained their heartbeat.
I saw a netizen above in Zhihu said:
"No matter how much two people have loved each other, there will be a boring day after marriage, and the most important thing is to see how the two people manage this tired day well."
In fact, as long as two people are willing to change and pay for each other, you change a little, I give some, and the relationship will become more and more fresh.
05. Mei Niang said:
Psychologists mentioned in "The Psychology of Love":
"One of the secrets of women harnessing men is to learn to be 'fickle.'"
When you focus on your own "change", your change is seen in the eyes of the other person, and he will also make changes for your efforts.
Feelings will change, you must also learn to "change" and become bright in the external image; Become rich and connotative internally; It becomes multifaceted in temperament and vivid and interesting in the way of getting along.
Believe that your "change" will really get closer and closer to happiness.
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