He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
The happiness of a family is never decided by one person, but by the "concerted efforts" of the family.
Someone said:
To marry a man with good conditions and money, life after marriage will be happy.
Someone said:
To marry a woman who is diligent and thrifty, sensible and considerate, and can go up to the hall and down the kitchen, the happiness will be high after marriage.
But no one said:
The best investment for a man is to be good to his wife; A woman's highest "love quotient" is to praise her husband.
This society exaggerates the importance of women in the family, but ignores the grievances and unfair treatment of women;
In this society, there is a lot of tolerance for men, but also some men do not know how to understand their wives.
Is it natural for a man to make money to support his family and a woman to teach her husband and son?
In the current environment, it never was.
If given the choice, there is not a woman who does not want to go to work and have her own career and finances.
For smart men, the best investment is their lover.
-01
Praise your wife and reap luck
There is a concept in psychology called the "Pygmalion effect."
Meaning:
People are more able to accept positive psychological cues, and under this positive praise, it can greatly stimulate a person's action, passion, interest.
This effect is often used in the field of education: teachers educate students.
Later, it was widely used and was often mentioned in social psychology, intimacy, etc.
In a family, the relationship between husband and wife also needs praise.
The opposite of praise is "accusation".
Is your partner an "accusatory personality"?
Like what:
He always accuses you of everything you do, and no matter what you do, he is dissatisfied;
Always blame you for all faults;
Mocking, belittling your grades, thinking you don't deserve it.
With an accusatory partner, you will become more and more inferior and self-doubting; Over time, it's hard to have the courage to make changes.
And learning to praise will not only make the relationship between the two of you better and better, but also make the other person give more to you.
For example:
Praise your wife's looks, she will give you a more refined version of yourself;
Praise your wife's hard work, and she will give you more in return;
Praise the wife's dedication to the family and the difficulty of having children, and she will consider herself loved and not lonely.
Obviously you can express your thoughts in a praise way, why say it in a "hurtful tone"?
In the family, all the mouths of knives are swords that hurt people.
-02
Invest in your wife in exchange for love
A consulting case comes to mind.
When a man marries his wife, he is poor and white, rents a house, and even the rent is paid by his wife.
After getting married, the two gave birth to 2 children in a row; Those days were difficult, men had to make their own careers, but the wife didn't say anything, just silently supported.
Seeing that her husband was almost unable to hold on, she owed a lot of money outside, and her wife went to work just after confinement.
Raise children while earning money to support your family.
After almost 10 years of marriage, the man's career can be regarded as prosperous, pay off foreign debts, and save some money.
After 15 years of marriage, the two bought a house and two cars, and life is getting better and better.
It was at this time:
The man cheated.
The reasons given are ridiculous.
The man said: "You don't know to pack up and dress yourself every day, like a yellow-faced woman; Take you out with you, compared to other people's wives, you are like a village woman. ”
At that moment, the woman's heart was broken.
How ruthless, the husband of the white-eyed wolf, had to be able to do such a thing and say such a thing?
He does not understand:
Why did the wife become a yellow-faced woman?
Why does the wife appear old compared to her peers?
Why doesn't the wife dress up?
Because she gave birth to 2 children, she has to bring children, she has to earn money to help subsidize the family, and she has to save money for children.
None of this husband's appreciation is appreciated.
The family is doing well, and the man thinks that it is his role, that he can earn money, and that it has nothing to do with his wife;
The family is not doing well, and he begins to dislike his wife for not living.
A really smart man will only invest in his wife.
Do you want your wife to look good?
Then you have to be willing to spend money on her.
Do you want your wife to be middle-aged, with a good figure, good temperament, delicate makeup every day, and beautiful clothes?
Then you have to be willing to invest in her.
There is no woman who does not want to look delicate;
There is no woman who does not love beauty.
When a woman is willing to give up her figure and appearance, it shows that she is a person who sacrifices herself for the sake of her family and children.
Mom was never an omnipotent superman;
Nor is my father an omnipotent hero.
In a family, only the husband and wife relationship, mutual respect, and mutual understanding can make the happiness of the family high.
The greatest wisdom of a man is to invest in his wife;
A woman's highest emotional intelligence is to understand and praise her husband.
Today's Topic:
What do you know about running a marriage?
(Article with picture source network)