In recent years, the issue of marriage and childbearing has become the focus of the entire community, with the development of the times and the faster and faster pace of life, young people are forced by the pressure of life, the age of first marriage has begun to be postponed, and the fertility rate has also been greatly reduced.
According to the survey, the marriage rate will drop to 5.4 ‰ in 2021, and the number of marriage registrations will still decline in the next few years, in addition to the postponement of the age of first marriage, the economy such as bride price and house price is also a major reason for the plummeting decline in the marriage and childbearing rate.
This reminds me of the hot search a few days ago that "the natural growth rate of Jiangsu's permanent population turned negative for the first time, and 70% of highly educated women only had one child", saying that the low birth rate of modern marriage is related to the high level of education of women, and the higher the level of education, the more women are more inclined to have fewer children.
The higher a woman's level of education, the higher her expectations for self-employment, the greater the conflict between childbearing and employment, and the higher the cost of having children. Therefore, women with higher education tend to have fewer children, which shows that as women's education level increases, they will lead to fewer or no births.
Someone in the comment nodded at this view, "Or the ancients said it is reasonable, and a woman's talentlessness is virtue."
I disagree with the relationship between fertility and women's educational attainment, I think this is a social issue, and it has nothing to do with how much women read!
In the final analysis, the most critical crux is that in contemporary society, women live soberly enough, and men are too realistic!
Perhaps I say so, there will be many people who do not agree, think that contemporary women are the most realistic utilitarian, completely regard marriage as a deal, to the bride price, to the house to the car, to men will make money will do housework will coax the wife, to live separately from the elderly, there is one thing that can not be satisfied, it is exempt from talking, with a well-known poisonous chicken soup summary is: If the marriage does not meet psychological expectations, it is better to end up alone, rather than casually.
Many men are angry about this, thinking that modern women are too materialistic, and now men are too difficult.
From a woman's point of view, I have to say that this may be exactly what contemporary women are sobering up to.
Women who live soberly
There was a very hot topic on the Internet: "If there is an afterlife, will you still marry your current husband?" ”
Ninety percent of the women in the comments section gave a negative answer, their words full of accusations and resentment, as if marriage brought them nothing but sadness and helplessness, and there was nothing worth nostalgia.
The writer Su Qian once said such a sentence: All the anxiety and hostility in women are treated badly.
The reason why these women have such a big resentment, I think, they must have experienced the helplessness and panic of life in marriage, experienced being ignored and understood by their lovers, and experienced coldness and despair.
Just like Shen Comet in the recent hit drama "Our Marriage", she turned out to be a high-achieving student with lofty pursuits and ambitions.
But for the sake of her children, she had to sacrifice her career and worked as a housewife she despised for 6 years, moving alone, renovating the house alone, repairing home appliances alone, and taking the children to see a doctor alone.
Sheng Jiangchuan seems to respect her, but between words, he always only emphasizes his contribution and hard work to this family, and completely rejects and ignores his wife's efforts and sacrifices.
In his eyes, being able to live in a big house is the result of his efforts, achieving class rise is what he has worked hard to earn, and the family can have such a comfortable life, all of which is his own credit.
In his words: How many times do you sleep with your children, I still light the lights in the company and stay up late working overtime, when you stay at home safely, I travel in the wind and rain, sometimes I can't eat three meals a day, have I complained to you?
In a word, it completely erased all the efforts and sacrifices of Shen Comet in the past 6 years.
The chickens and dogs in various marriages that are filled with the Internet and the various marriage dog blood in film and television dramas make women more and more soberly realize that marriage and having children can only be the icing on the cake of life, and cannot become the weight of life.
They put more energy into self-improvement and work, because they are soberly aware that the changes in marriage are too great, and only financial resources and the power to make a living are the strength and support of women's lives.
The reality of men
Junichi Watanabe said in the book "Man This Thing":
Men regard marriage as having children, when choosing a marriage partner, men give priority to women who are suitable for having children for themselves and can seriously raise children, no matter how beautiful and moving the other party is, if she will have fun than raising children, or only care about work regardless of family, men will not consider marrying them.
For men, falling in love and getting married are two completely different things. Love can be windy and snowy, but marriage must be realistic, in the face of marriage problems, men's feelings can be objectified and measured.
Whether a woman can have children, how much benefit can be brought to the family, her education, family, work and personality, are all carefully considered before they will be screened into the scope of their marriage choices.
This may also be why some men would rather spend 200,000 to marry someone they have only known for a few days than 100,000 to marry someone they have been in love with for a few years.
I have asked a few men around me this question, and the answer they give from the male point of view is that they think it is all about spending money anyway, it is better to change to a new one; the second is that the object of blind date, most of which has been screened by both families and parents, matches each other's families and conditions, and is the most suitable candidate for marriage.
But this kind of marriage that lacks an emotional basis often lacks trust, especially in terms of money, there will be calculations and calculations, but life is mostly vulgar, money is an important factor in maintaining marriage, once the two sides calculate too much on money, there is almost no possibility of good.
Men need to understand and women need respect
He Dan, a member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, said at the two sessions some time ago: Men who cannot find an object should change their concept of mate selection, and warm men are more popular in family relations.
For HeDan's proposal, many men are extremely dismissive, thinking that modern women's requirements for marriage are too high, they want a house and a car, a bride price, and men have money, and men can do housework.
As a woman, I can say that most ordinary women in this world may not pay so much attention to the economy, and they value men's ability and sense of responsibility in marriage.
The couples around me, most of them are not rich and noble people, the salaries of the two families add up to about one to twenty thousand, they have to raise children, the elderly, to repay the mortgage and car loans, they are meticulous every day, when they encounter major events, they will be stretched, but they work together, never count who manages the money, nor who spends more money, and will not emphasize who pays more to this family, who pays less for this family.
In this society where women are independent and more and more sober about the road of life, men do want to change the concept of mate selection, not that men need to take care of all the housework and children, but to change the deep-rooted thinking of "male and female protagonists", participate in the family together, understand and tolerate each other, affirm and respect each other.
Just like in "Our Marriage", Shen Yanxing learned after working that it is impossible for a person to take care of the family and not to delay his work; Sheng Jiangchuan also understood that it is not easy for a person to take care of his children after working with Shen Comet.
It was Shen Comet who made Sheng Jiang Chuan and let him work hard wholeheartedly without any worries; it was Sheng Jiang Chuan's hard work that gave Shen Comet and his children a good life; it was the joint efforts of their husband and wife that made this better and better home.
Junichi Watanabe said: Women's late childbearing has become a major social problem, and the reason is that women are often more likely than men to feel the shackles of marriage.
When men face marriage, the most complained about is the materialism and selfishness of contemporary women; women are more complaining about the lack of men in the family, such as going home like a grandfather and not doing any housework, children do not care, inaction in the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, etc., it can be seen that most unfortunate marriages are not all caused by money.
Women in this society are very independent, they do not lack the ability to make money, but to form a family together, it is necessary to sacrifice one person to put the focus on the family, and the other person has to carry the burden of the whole family, no one is easier than anyone, and no one pays less than anyone.
Therefore, the reduction of the marriage and childbearing rate has nothing to do with whether women are educated or not, the focus is on more trust between men and women, after marriage, husband and wife are in the same heart, the wife can understand the husband's hardships outside, and the husband can also respect and affirm the wife's dedication to the family, which is the long-term solution to maintain the marriage.