The humility of the stay-at-home mother is not because of love, but because the palm of the hand is up, too hard
Long Chunhua parent-child practice class
Release on 2022-03-2023:22
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"If you want to come up with the mentality of serving the boss, you will feel that many of the problems in your husband can be accepted, and then life will not be harmonious..."
The TV series "Our Marriage" has recently been particularly popular, when two full-time mothers Shen Yanxing chatted with Jiang Jing and complained about her husband, Jiang Jing comforted Shen Yanxing.
Treat your husband like a boss, and you can accept many of his problems. Jiang Jing's words seem to have a certain truth, but they hide the humility of full-time mothers.
It is true that no one is perfect, whether it is a husband or a boss, they have shortcomings. Because the boss wants to pay himself a salary, it is a relationship between employment and employment, domination and domination! Therefore, most people can accept the shortcomings of the boss, even if there is bitter water is silently endured!
But the husband is the closest person to him, the relationship between marriage and marriage, mutual love and mutual assistance. Distance produces beauty, and because of close contact, most women can't accept the shortcomings of their husbands.
On the surface, the mentality of treating your husband like a boss contributes to the harmony between husband and wife. However, this harmony is for outsiders to see, but in fact, it hides the humility and unconditional compromise of the stay-at-home mother, who is at the mercy of the husband but helpless.
Today's husband and wife are united in equality and freedom, but Jiang Jing, who serves her husband like a boss, is born into the dust, Zhang Ailing once said:
"Loving someone humbles to dust and then blossoms."
The humility of full-time mother Jiang Jing is not because of love, but because of the upward palm of the hand.
In her words:
"The common sentiment of man is to eat people with short mouths and to take people softly. I don't have an income, the money spent on my children is better to say, the money spent on myself has to find some excuses, if you spend the money on your mother's family, it is no different from a beggar. ”
It is based on this psychology that she accidentally fell down in order to let her parents travel abroad, and in order to show that she was seriously injured, she had to put on a plaster cast, and the purpose of doing so was only to give her tickets to her parents to travel abroad!
When chatting with her husband Lu Weibin, when talking about the divorce distribution, her husband Lu Weibin asked bluntly: "How to divide?" Paid on a nanny basis. ”
Obviously, in Jiang Jing's marriage, in the eyes of her husband Lu Weibin, Jiang Jing, the wife who bore him a son and adopted a son, was equivalent to a nanny.
Jiang Jing was once a workplace beauty, and she has been struggling in the workplace for eight months pregnant. However, when she gave birth to a child and returned to the workplace, there was no place for her in the workplace. Therefore, she chose to teach her husband and children at home, and raised herself for several years, preferring to be quiet and cautious rather than conquer the workplace again.
She is the epitome of countless full-time mothers, although she works 24 hours a day, but raising children to do housework is not paid, even if she spends a penny, she has to open her mouth and reach out to her husband, which greatly hits her self-esteem and feels inferior.
Most men are like Lu Weibin, measuring everything with money, thinking that it is great to have money, and especially shamelessly declaring: "I can cheat, but you can't!" So, he "didn't fall the red flag at home, and the bunting flag fluttered outside."
Jiang Jing made her husband Lu Weibin the boss, while her husband Lu Weibin regarded his wife Jiang Jing as a nanny, and he was not paid a salary and could not betray his nanny at all. This is an unbalanced marriage.
In an unbalanced marriage, the husband is on top and the wife is on her knees. The more humble the wife, every time she opens her mouth, every time she reaches out, she will deeply stab her heart, and then doubt love, uneasiness will emerge, and self-pity will arise. In the life of a full-time mother of a warm boiled frog, even if there is a crisis in the marriage, they still swallow their anger, have no courage to resist, and have no confidence to return to the workplace, as if they can only be slaughtered.
Men and women enter the sacred marriage because of equal love and mutual love, if the family is compared to a company, then the wife and husband are partners, not husbands and employees.
When the wife and husband are partners in the relationship, they are a community of interests, everything is discussed, whether it is to earn money to support the family, or to do housework to raise children, in fact, it is only a different division of labor, and there is no distinction between high and low.
I once said:
"Virtuous wives and good mothers, in ancient times, used sages to praise virtuous subjects, and used good to praise good fortune and good people, so a virtuous wife and a good mother are not nannies, not only can go hand in hand with men, but also have a strong backing for men." The home she runs is a haven for men, allowing men to attack and retreat. ”
It's just that we live in an impetuous era, or live in an era that is too powerful, money is supreme, it is great to make money, and it is inferior to make money. As a result, the marriage is out of balance, the party who makes money is on top, and the party who does not make money is humbled to the dust, but they often forget what they got married for, and they forget the vows when they got married.
Although Shen Yanxing, who is also a full-time mother with Jiang Jing, has also lost her balance in marriage and become a widowed parenting, she has never positioned herself as a nanny, in her opinion, no matter how much money her husband earns, they are serving the family, but the division of labor is different.
Because she has such a correct definition, in the face of her husband Sheng Jiangchuan after drinking, he triumphantly said that it was his own credit to be able to buy a house in the financial street, Shen Yanxing was injured, so he decided to return to the workplace.
Although her husband Sheng Jiangchuan has been waiting to see her jokes, in a series of events, he gradually realized how valuable his wife Shen Yanxing's contributions to the family and children are.
The times are constantly moving forward, our concepts are also changing with each passing day, marriage is a relationship of mutual love and mutual assistance, every woman who enters marriage should understand: no matter what kind of person the other party is, how dazzling the aura, you can stand by his side, then you must have the capital to stand next to him.
Therefore, as wives, we must remember: no matter what profession we are engaged in, no matter what identity we are, we must learn to define ourselves correctly, we as wives, in her position will be able to bear its weight, we are the husband and wife, the heart and gallbladder, hand in hand, the community of interests, sacred and inviolable.
Long Chunhua, parent-child writer, founder of Long Chunhua Parent-Child Practice Classroom, second-child mother, author of more than ten works such as "Raising Boys, Mothers Have a Way", "Children, You Are the Best Of Yourself", "Infant Behavior Psychology" and so on.