The name Zhu Yuchen may be a little strange to many young people, but if you mention the "Huazi" in the TV series "Struggle", everyone will think of him.
At that time, Zhu Yuchen was also extremely popular, and his popularity was close to Hu Ge. In recent years, he has gradually disappeared and faded out of people's vision, but Zhu Yuchen's emotional experience has always attracted much attention. His first love girlfriend is international superstar Tang Wei, and the other is actress Jiang Yan.
But why didn't the relationship with them continue? Here I have to talk about Zhu Yuchen's mother.
01 Suffocating maternal love
After Zhu Yuchen was admitted to the Chinese opera, her mother went to the dormitory to ask his roommates one by one whether they would snore, worried that they would affect her son's rest. Zhu Yuchen himself wanted to make the bed, but was stopped by his mother: "Don't move your son, let your mother come." ”
Zhu Yuchen felt very humiliated in front of his classmates and thought that his mother's love was too heavy.
Once, Zhu Yuchen came home after filming the scene, and found that his mother had given him a bowl of noodles, the noodles were full of chicken feathers, he did not like to eat chicken feathers, and when he saw this bowl of noodles, he started a temper tantrum: "Didn't I say that I didn't like to eat this dish?" ”
It was the middle of winter, and it was minus ten degrees outside. Mom showed him her hand and said, "You see, mom is freezing her fingers in order to pick these dishes." ”
Seeing her mother's red, swollen and cracked fingers, Zhu Yuchen had to eat the bowl of noodles.
Mother's life revolves around Zhu Yuchen, if Zhu Yuchen publishes Weibo, she will take the book and carefully excerpt it, causing her son not even want to send Weibo.
For the sake of her son's health, Zhu Yuchen's mother will get up at 4 o'clock every day to boil pear juice.
Therefore, Zhu Yuchen's assistant had to carry different bottles and cans every day, and strictly followed his mother's requirements to let him drink various sugar water regularly. The mother takes good care of her son and does not even want her son to work.
When the mother found out that her son could cook on his own, she almost cried. Mom is very proud of her housework level, thinking that she can afford two Filipino maids alone, preferring that he always be a "mother".
When he grew up, his son did not cling to himself like when he was a child, which made his mother very disappointed. Zhu Yuchen's mother gave up her life to follow her son around. Even the son's emotional life must be interfered with, and every girlfriend in the relationship must go through the control of the mother.
The mother was quite strong in front of Zhu Yuchen, and also showed that she had no life, only a son. Of course, for the daughter-in-law, Zhu Yuchen's mother also has her own set of standards.
For her mother's various behaviors, perhaps Zhu Yuchen is also difficult to adapt. From the time he watched his friends leave the party and left, he began to cry loudly, thinking that no one wanted to stay by his side, it was not difficult to find that Zhu Yuchen's heart was actually very bitter.
The girl who the son looks up to, the mother can't look at the eyes, and in the end, Zhu Yuchen will always compromise and listen to the mother's opinion. Although, everyone can not say that Zhu Yuchen is still single is caused by his mother, perhaps there are also personal, such as personality or other reasons.
But if a love is so heavy, will the child still think it is love?
02 What does suffocating love become for a child?
When parents discipline their children too harshly, children often lie and rebel.
Although there are also children who are obedient to parental discipline, parents still need to understand that your child is not just your child, he is also an independent person.
In general, lying is a means for children to escape problems, and most of the time children are not willing to lie, but are afraid of being severely reprimanded or punished by their parents. A lie needs more lies to round out, and over time, it becomes a habit of lying.
Some parents' lives are completely child-centered, not only sacrificing their own time, but also consuming a lot of financial resources. Only by letting children get ahead can they prove that their choice is correct. The whereabouts of children must be under their control.
In the TV series "Female Psychologist", Jiang Jing likes to play drums, but her mother wants her to learn piano.
Practice the piano for 10 hours a day, even if her fingers bleed, her mother will not let her stop.
Dressed according to the requirements of the mother, the "well-behaved girl" in front of the mother will change into her own shorts, vest, and play her own drums as soon as she goes out.
The diary was flipped through by the mother, without any privacy...
Her mother's airtight love made Jiang Jing can only use overeating to decompress, and finally suffered from binge eating nervosa.
The mother used the "it's all for your own good" excuse to tie her 30-year-old daughter firmly to her side.
Control in the name of love will force the child to step into a desperate situation. And those children who are controlled by love are bound to fight back in ways that their families did not expect.
A parent installed a camera in the 14-year-old's bedroom, and the child went directly to the police. When the police arrived, the parents angrily rebuked the children: "How much privacy do you have, who am I, why can't I monitor you?" ”
14 years old, it is a sensitive adolescence, independence is the most obvious consciousness of children in this period. When he found that his dearest parents were actually watching his every move, the feeling of suffocation with nowhere to escape was enough to make the teenager collapse.
(Source |.) Beijing News)
In the eyes of many parents, children are their own and do not deserve privacy.
However, the parents' airtight "control" will only make the child go farther and farther away from himself, and even cause harm to the child's physical and mental health. So much so that some children would rather be orphans than suffocate him with this kind of deep love.
Parents should not control their children's trajectory at all times in order to avoid their children becoming bad.
Being trusted is the beginning of self-respect and self-love, to give the child a little freedom.
Parents should love their children appropriately.
"Personal space" is the basic need of all animals, respect the child, he will respect himself, master the child's heart is more important than mastering his actions.
For reference:
1. Variety show "My Boy"
2. Variety show "Super Visit"
3, the picture source TV series "Female Psychologist" Beijing News