Wen\Muye, Jiang Zuo Mei niang
Stills from "Our Marriage"
After brushing "Our Marriage" twice, I was completely fanned by the white lily circle, and as a palm-up woman, she simply lived out another new version of stay-at-home mom.
Shen Yanxing, played by Bai Baihe, made people shine as soon as he appeared.
Under the soft and weak appearance, but there is a strong and tough heart, and there is no ambiguity in the straight male cancer, it is simply that people love more and more.
There is a reason for her strength and toughness.
Shen Yanxing has an aura on her head, she and her husband Sheng Jiangchuan, are high-quality students in the finance department of famous universities, she not only got offers from well-known companies as soon as she graduated, but also much better than ShengJiangchuan. After returning to the family, she has played the shining point of the full-time mother to the extreme, not only can keep the home in order, but also know how to repair home appliances, and her husband is just like the decorations at home.
It can be said that it is because of the reliable backing of Shen Comet that Sheng Banzai was born. However, Shen Yanxing's sacrifice and dedication in the past 6 years have become a matter of course in the eyes of her husband, and she is not respected and recognized at all.
According to Shen Yanxing's personality, it is impossible to be looked down upon by her husband, so she decided to return to the workplace, although the process is difficult, fortunately, she has persevered, the career has finally blossomed, and her husband has returned to the family as a grandfather. The second half of her life is simply sassy and cool, which is worth learning and learning from many stay-at-home mothers.
Before she returned to the workplace, we said that in marriage, she also lived much happier than Jiang Jing, what is the reason for this? Mainly because she had these two mentalities, this made Sheng Jiang Chuan eat to death.
01. High sense of dignity - combat men's sense of superiority
In marriage, Shen Yanxing is pursuing an equal relationship between men and women, even if she spends Sheng Jiangchuan's money and lives in the new house he bought, she also feels taken for granted, because she is also a member of the high self-esteem crowd, she feels that her dedication to men is worth everything that men give, so whenever Sheng Jiangchuan shows a sense of superiority, she will be strangled to death.
For example, after they moved into their new home, Sheng Jiangchuan felt very good about himself, and when he talked to Shen Comet, he became floating:
"Your husband, is a straight man who is a good man, I am all on my own, with our whole family, to achieve consumption upgrades, our family has jumped a class, do you know how difficult it is?" You say your husband is not strong? ”
It is as if Shen Yanxing's full-time mother has not contributed to the family at all, but in fact, from house viewing to buying a house, from packaging to moving, Shen Yanxing has single-handedly managed, living himself into a contract foreman, and Sheng Jiangchuan does not even know how many floors he lives in, and even the toilet at home cannot be touched, it is simply a little princess who does not know anything.
Therefore, in the face of shengjiangchuan's sense of superiority over straight male cancer, Shen Yanxing immediately suppressed him and said:
"This marriage is my voluntary marriage, the child is also my voluntary birth, choose to take the child at home, this decision is also made by myself, so you don't have to wear any high hat for me, but you also don't want to put your sense of superiority in front of me, equality, understand?" 」
It is reasonable to say that Sheng Jiang Chuan has the ability to let Shen Yanxing live in a business center house, and it is true that men are proud of it, why does Shen Comet let him accept his condescending superiority?
Because Sheng Jiangchuan's words are both denying the efforts of stay-at-home mothers. At first, he had nothing, but Shen Yanxing was willing to give up the high salary to take the baby at home full-time, he was extremely grateful, and he also tried hard to let her and the child live a good life.
Now he is a gold medal investor of Feihu Capital, while Shen Yanxing has become a full-time mother, and there is no longer any halo on his body. At this time, all men will have a sense of superiority in their hearts and will begin to dislike each other for not being worthy of themselves.
But for a woman who is very sure of her self-worth, how can this be tolerated? If a man has been showing his sense of superiority in this way without making him soberly aware of his own value, then sooner or later, he will be abandoned by him, so the sensitive Shen Comet will immediately knock him: Don't show his sense of superiority.
Not letting men show a sense of superiority is not to deny each other's efforts, but a recognition of their own full-time motherhood and a respect for themselves.
No matter how the other party evaluates themselves, people who can objectively recognize themselves are often people with a very strong sense of self-esteem, she is not easy to be PUA by men, she is very assertive, even if she is a full-time mother, she will be very clear about what she wants, what she does not want, will not be degraded by others and arrogant, will not be led by the negative evaluation of others, she will be treated unfairly, but can get the respect and recognition of her husband.
So as a full-time mother, you can't let go of the display of a man's sense of superiority, all changes are the current public opinion, he has already despised you in language, you can't expect him to respect you in his heart.
02. High sense of worthiness - brave to ask men
Many full-time mothers may feel that it is too difficult to pursue equality between men and women in marriage, after all, men earn money to support their families, and they only take their babies at home and do not earn money, and even the confidence to speak is insufficient.
This is also the pain point of many stay-at-home mothers, because they have no income, they can only reach out for money, the money spent on their children is fine, and the money that they want to spend on themselves, then they have to find some excuses. If you spend money on your mother's family, it is no different from a beggar who reaches out for money, so over time the stay-at-home mother will derive a sense of unworthiness and dare not ask for it casually.
This mentality will lead to most women who have been full-time mothers will unconsciously treat their husbands as bosses, thinking that as long as they work hard and sacrifice like employees, they will be exchanged for the happiness of marriage, but generally do so, not only will the relationship between husband and wife be unbalanced, but also the men will be spoiled.
Another full-time mother in the play, Jiang Jing is like this, she wants her husband to take her parents to Travel to New Zealand, but she does not dare to directly mention it to her husband, she can only lie and break her leg, so that she can give up the opportunity to her parents.
To this end, Jiang Jing also said a sentence out of the circle of fire:
"I take my husband as the boss, take out the mentality of serving the boss, you will feel that there are many problems in the husband, you can accept, then life is not harmonious?" 」 And there is no equality in the workplace, what boss is not selfish or arrogant? ”
But is that really the case? Jiang Jing treated her husband as the boss, but her husband treated her like a fool, blatantly cheated under her eyes, and after being caught, not only did she not admit her mistake, but also in turn blamed her for not knowing the general situation and not understanding things, giving him a shameful eye.
So, see? It's silly for women to treat men like bosses. Because you want to make your husband the boss, does not mean that the husband will give you the same treatment and respect as the employees, it is likely that he is only when you are a free nanny, want to squeeze and exploit you. And there is an employment relationship between the boss and the employee, that is also the relationship between choice and choice, the boss has the right to fire you, and you have the freedom to change the boss. But can this be the case between husband and wife? How can a stay-at-home mother have the courage to divorce?
Therefore, Jiang Jing was betrayed, and although she couldn't stand it, she still hesitated when she thought of divorce. It's not because she's not angry, it's that she shouldn't have made her husband the boss and made her marriage unequal from the start.
This is also where Shen Yanxing is smarter than her, she will not take her husband as the boss, but she feels that she is a full-time wife with a lot of credit, and she will ask her husband, because she deserves to have everything beautiful.
For example, she likes music and wants to play rock and roll, so she made up her mind to convert the extra small room in the house into a music room. But Sheng Jiangchuan wanted to make a game room, so he said to Shen Yanxing:
"No, you don't want to go to work, you want to play music, you go outside and play casually!"
Did you find out, isn't this particularly familiar? But all stay-at-home mothers, once they ask their husbands for something, the other party will easily reject you by not going to work and not earning money.
Because even men like Sheng Jiangchuan, although they have received higher education, they still have a "straight male cancer" in their bones, and the values they believe in are: male inside and female outside. In their view, their men are tired and hard working outside, providing women with such good material conditions, then you women should treat me as a golden father to serve, usually have to ask less, less trouble for me, I want you to do whatever you want.
You see, isn't a man with such a thought terrible? Chilled? Helpless? Therefore, we women should not treat men as bosses, because this will unknowingly spoil men.
We have to be like Shen Comet, not only do not serve the husband as the boss, but also have to ask the husband, if the husband does not agree, we must also be able to pick the child hard, the full-time mother said that if you don't do it, you see, but let the man have jealousy, dare not not satisfy himself.
03. Mei Niang said
A lot of women ask me backstage how to conquer a man and I always say, it's not an overnight thing, it's a little bit of a thing. Let's take the simplest example.
My parents are seriously mismatched in the eyes of outsiders, my father is an officer, my mother is a village girl, although they are all in the countryside, but my grandfather is also a cadre, my mother lost her father at an early age, the family situation naturally cannot be compared with my father's family, and then my father transferred to the local area and became a civil servant, my mother is a military family, only doing in the factory, the income is not as much as my father, but they are now more than 70 years old, very loving, but it has always been my father who let my mother, dare not make times. Why?
Because from the very beginning my mother was very domineering, such as my uncle went to my house as a guest, my father was a little sloppy, then my mother will be mad; for example, two people quarreling, my mother must be unreasonable and also have to stir up three points, my father can only bow to the wind; my father and my mother play cards, must let her, let her always win, otherwise the night will definitely be noisy.
Anyway, my father has any disrespect for her mother's family, does not respect her, does not let her move, she must pull over, take out the attitude of not changing, rather than die, and finally my father can only follow her for the peace of the family.
My mother always said to me, living with men, you are strong he is weak, you are weak he is strong, this always makes me think of springs, can men really be like springs? When I was a child, I was very disapproving of my mother, but now this life is more than half ahead of me, she still believes in love, is pampered all her life, and lives really better than me! So ginger is still old spicy, you can't accept it.
Now my mom is playing with the pad while watching TV, and my dad can only scratch the phone next to me, and I say, "Mom, if you don't watch TV, you let my dad look good!" ”
My mom looked up and said, "Who said I didn't look?" I watch it once in a while! ”
What a domineering and wayward mother! Although she has no culture, she has both mentalities to conquer men!
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