Wen | snow fell without dust
If you enter marriage, do you often face such trivialities:
All day long, it is always an unclean house; in the washing machine, there is always an unwashed laundry; on the sofa, there are always random discarded sundries; in the kitchen, there are always three meals that cannot be burned; and children who never listen to discipline.
Women in marriage, like warriors, learned to stir-fry, cook, change diapers, make complementary foods, coax children...
No longer delicate, it became unkempt, disheveled, dirty, and without a hint of a woman's appearance.
Can't help but be sad, years are the best proof of aging, taking away the collagen of the face, but also taking away the style and youth of a woman.
Yang Lan said: "The most tenacious bond in marriage is not children, not families, but spiritual progress. ”
In marriage, the only thing a woman cannot forget is the dazzling self that was once there.
The most advanced marriage, must be a woman who does not stop growing, constantly improving herself, will be brilliant all the way.
In fact, in marriage, a really comfortable way of living can be summed up in three sentences.
01
First: Keep working hard to grow into an independent woman
As I grew older, I understood Shu Ting's "To the Oak Tree":
"I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree." Root, clenched in the ground. Leaves, touching in the clouds. ”
After reading the epiphany, it turns out that in marriage, maintaining an independent self is king.
In the hit drama "Our Marriage", there is a heated discussion about the growth of women in marriage.
In the play, Jiang Jing acquiesced from the beginning to the identity of a full-time wife.
She said: "I have no income, I can only reach out for money, children spend money, and they have to report the details of their own spending." If you spend money on your mother's family, it is no different from a beggar who reaches out for money. ”
In the end, Jiang Jing suffered a marriage change, went out of the house, and raised the child alone, which was really uncomfortable to watch.
Not working for a long time, life in embarrassment, this is the biggest dilemma she faces.
Although Jiang Jing's experience is tragic, it also reflects the real situation of many full-time wives: putting herself in family chores is actually a kind of venture capital.
Women in marriage, never expect to lower their posture in exchange for love. How low you put today, how hard you will fall tomorrow.
In the center, Shen Huixing has always remained sober, although full-time for six years, he has never forgotten to realize his self-worth.
She can send her children to school in advance, ask her husband to divide the work with herself to pick up and drop off the children, and take care of the children's life.
Although she was repeatedly frustrated in her search for a job and entered the workplace, she did not accept defeat, studied hard, and soon became popular in the workplace.
Shen Comet, who has returned to the workplace, has regained his former vigor, confidence and vitality.
There is no slackness in the work, and the strength proves how important it is to grow up in marriage.
She said: "Who said that it must be male and female, children and families are two people, women do not necessarily need to marry and teach children, but also can achieve self-worth." ”
In marriage, we must aspire to be an independent tree and take root and grow on our own. Rely on wrapping around the lover, absorbing nutrition, and eventually it will wither.
In marriage, your independence is the greatest confidence.
02
Second: Don't stop loving yourself and grow into a loving woman
Yishu once said: "Self-love, calmness, and then love others." ”
In marriage, women must first love themselves, and their feelings will become more and more pure.
A woman who will love herself can recognize her heart, will not be easily controlled by negative emotions, and it is not easy to indulge in pessimism and sorrow.
Liu Xiaojie in the TV series "Xiao Min's Family" is a woman who does not know how to love and lacks love.
She and her first husband, Tong Bing, were flash-married, and before they got married, they did not see that the other party was a mother treasure man. After getting married, I found that I had actually married such a strange man who made people cry without tears.
So, she quickly divorced herself.
Later, Xu Zheng appeared, and he fell in love with Liu Xiaojie at first sight while playing basketball. Therefore, Liu Xiaojie entered the marriage again.
However, Xu is a person with a particularly strong desire for emotional control, and he even imprisons Liu Xiaojie.
Liu Xiaojie, who encountered all this, suddenly realized that she was once again wrong, and she once again chose to end the marriage without hesitation.
Liu Xiaojie frequently planted a head in marriage because she would not love herself in marriage.
In fact, a woman's sense of security has never depended on men, and only she can give it.
Aunt Wang is known for her diligence and virtuousness in the community, and she has been around her husband and son for most of her life.
Years ago, she found a tumor and wasn't sure if it was malignant or benign. With this illness, Aunt Wang suddenly felt very lonely.
She called to ask her husband to accompany him, but she was refused, thinking about her wholehearted efforts over the years, she could not even meet this request, which was particularly chilling.
Fortunately, after the operation, it was determined that the tumor was benign, and Aunt Wang's hanging heart was also put down.
Since then, Aunt Wang has reopened her new life, dancing square dances and traveling with friends to relax.
The cleverness of Aunt Wang is that she can get rid of family chores, love herself well, and live well.
In marriage, if a woman expects love from her own efforts, she will only fail.
Never stop loving yourself, is the winner in life.
Knowing how to love yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
03
Third: Constantly arm yourself and grow into a bookish and elegant woman
Sanmao said: "Reading more, the face naturally changes, many times, I may think that many of the books I have read have become a smoke cloud of the past, and I will no longer remember." In fact, they are still in temperament, in conversation, in the endless mind, of course, may also be revealed in life and words. ”
Reading is all about the transformation of coming to Japan and having a mature soul.
A netizen named Arwen shared with me his experience of reading and self-healing:
Arwen has suffered the worst situation in his life: a mid-life workplace crisis, almost losing his job, a red light in his marriage, family chores, and chicken feathers.
Returning to work after maternity leave, she found herself disconnected from the work she had once known.
Thinking degenerates, and attending parties is often ignored; making diagram mistakes, resulting in heavy losses for the company, bosses scolding in public, and almost losing their jobs.
The workplace crisis has made her take care of herself, and she has not thought of family chores, which has made her breathless.
Once, the child had a fever of 40 degrees and was sent to the hospital, she could not rush back because of work, the mother-in-law accused her of not being worthy of being a mother, and her husband became more and more cold to her.
The marital crisis, the family's incomprehension, and the hard work forced her into a corner, with no way to retreat, and her heart was exhausted.
Fortunately, there is no way out of the world, occasionally meet university professors, help guide the mystery: mid-life crisis, family trivia, career choices, mentality, etc. can all be self-healing through reading.
As a result, she will take ten minutes out of her day to read a large number of useful books on marriage relations, business management, interpersonal communication, the workplace and so on.
Through reading, she let go of her previous anger and walked out of negative emotions. Learn to be kind to yourself and care for your family.
Life gradually returned to warmth, and her and her husband's feelings were also more tolerant and more considerate of each other in the run-in.
Women must read, in addition to the role of wife and mother, you are also unique to yourself.
Only when you decorate yourself with the fragrance of pen and ink books will you be elegant and intellectual.
A woman's best state is not the pot and pan housework, but the abundant heart.
Reading more books is the brightest star in your life.
04
Therefore, marriage should be well thought out, and women cannot rely on men, but must rely on three kinds of "bottom gas".
Sanmao said: "Sometimes marriage can also make a woman lose herself, otherwise, there should be many more outstanding women in the world." ”
Married life is more messy and trivial, but women should not be bound by a chicken feather and forget to grow.
Strive to grow, always walk on the road of poetry and far away.
Don't forget to improve yourself, thinking and footsteps always have to have one on the road.
Marriage is not the end of a woman's life, but the beginning of transformation.
Don't stop practicing self because of marriage; don't give up grooming yourself because of your children.
Regardless of age, we must strive to grow, at different ages, write different charm and beauty.
No matter how the marriage changes, you must be independent, self-sufficient, enjoy loving and being loved, and wrap the unknown with the fragrance of books.