Text/Summer
01. Preface
There are many forms of love. Some love comes like a flood of waves, and some love, like a soft moonlight sprinkled all over the world, is low-key and deep.
The so-called true love is not a momentary impulse, nor is it a flower before and after the love period. It's a lifetime of waiting.
For the sake of each other, willing to restrain their own behavior, willing to restrain their "desires", in order to manage each other's feelings, take on a lot of responsibilities.
Love that is too fierce is often like fireworks, brilliant and colorful for a moment, and then disappears. Such love is too superficial to be true love.
The expression of true love, good at restraining "desire".
Shakespeare said that lust is like a charcoal fire, and it must be cooled, otherwise the fire will scorch the heart.
True love for a person, will be willing to slowly get close to each other, understand each other, and be able to stay with each other quietly, year after year.
02, restrain the speed of pursuit
Men who truly love a woman will refrain from pursuing her "speed". Not too impulsive in order to quickly catch up with her desires.
Like a person, in fact, there are many concerns.
When two people fall in love, they do not know each other very well, nor can they see each other's hearts clearly, nor do they know whether they can be happy after being with each other.
When in love, there are too many fears, so be careful when pursuing someone.
When a man pursues a woman too quickly, then it is not really love. Pursuing a woman too quickly is more of an "possessiveness" from a man.
True love for a person, not too impulsive, on the contrary, will love carefully.
When a man pursues a person, if it is true love, the man will care about the woman's feelings and hope to give her more security. Let her slowly see the man's heart, let her can't help but get closer.
Men will give women a lot of time and opportunities to see men's hearts clearly little by little.
The deeper the love, the more willing the man will be to restrain his speed of pursuing the woman, slowly approach her, and also give the woman the opportunity to slowly understand him.
03, restrain the desire to get her
A man who truly loves someone will restrain his desire to get her. Be good at respecting her, not too early to over-favor.
Gu Tingye in "Know It or Not" likes Minglan. However, he knew that Minglan liked Qi Heng, so he hid this feeling deep in his heart and did not show it at all.
Later, when he had the opportunity to chase After Minglan, he also thought about a lot of steps, one link after another, which could make Minglan run to him without scruples.
During this time, he had never seen Minglan alone, nor had he had much intersection with her.
He knew that a woman's honor was very important and did not want to embarrass Minglan. Therefore, through hard work, he asked the Holy Father for marriage, and in his own way, he tried to pave a path of love between Minglan and him.
Men who move their hearts will be more willing to spend time and let women slowly love him.
A man's heart will consider things very comprehensively, and he will not embarrass the person he loves, but will sweep away all the concerns in her heart.
If you really love someone, you will be affectionate.
Men truly love a person, and before they are completely sure of this feeling, they will not show their hearts, and they will not make some actions that belittle the other party.
04, restrain her desires
A man who loves a person will restrain her desires, will give her enough respect, let her have her own circle of life and let go.
After Liu Xiaojie and Xu Zheng in "Xiao Min Family" got married, they found that Xu Zheng's possessiveness was very strong, and he did not allow her to talk to his former classmates, and even did not let her contact the opposite sex at work.
When he learned that Liu Xiaojie was in contact with his former friends of the opposite sex, he showed a very paranoid side. He confiscated Liu Xiaojie's mobile phone and computer and refused to let her go out.
He said that he loved Liu Xiaojie, but what he made Liu Xiaojie feel was pain and fear. Such love is selfish, and for Liu Xiaojie, marriage has become a nightmare.
If the man can restrain himself, let the woman have a free space for development, so that she can feel very happy. Then such a man is true love.
On the contrary, the more men who restrain women, they actually love very selfishly.
Good love is to be able to be yourself and become a better version of yourself.
05. Summary
The performance of a man's true love for a person is actually to restrain "desire".
Shaw Bernard said: "Self-control is the strongest instinct." ”
When a man truly loves someone, the highest state of expression of love is "restraint.". The deeper the love, the more willing to wait and respect the woman with all your heart.
Men who really love someone will put women in a more important position than themselves. Even if he is a little wronged, he still wants to take better care of her.
Restraining "desire" is actually a man's deepest love for a woman. Because they care, they will restrain themselves with their hearts and fulfill more of the people they love.
The better men are at restraining themselves, the more seriously they love and the more calm they are.
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Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, a popular emotional writer with more than 1 billion people on the Internet, a happy woman manager, who has focused on emotions, gender, and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.