In the TV series "Xiao Min's Family", Liu Xiaojie had two marriages, the first flash marriage flashed away, but she did not realize the reason for the failure of her marriage, until the second paragraph, after her marriage failed again, she completely understood.
Liu Xiaojie said to her good friend Qian Feng:
"Old money, I finally understand a truth: I can only get real love if I am completely myself."
Liu Xiaojie's second husband Xu Zheng was very good to Liu Xiaojie at the beginning, all kinds of thoughtfulness and gentleness, so that Liu Xiaojie once thought that he had met someone who could love him all his life, and it was this kind of goodness that made Liu Xiaojie blinded his eyes, and he could not see Xu Zheng's true personality clearly, nor could he see what he really looked like.
She thought that as long as Liu Xiaojie was good to herself and truly loved herself, she would live happily all her life. But obviously this is not the case, Xu Zheng actually does not love her, only wants to satisfy his possessiveness. Everything he did was to control Liu Xiaojie from her mind and make her completely listen to herself.
For a woman, it is good to have someone who loves herself, but you must first understand one thing: why do others love you?
Is it just because you're good looking and have a good family, or because you have a good personality and are empathetic enough? Of course, these will also become part of the reasons, but they will not be the main reasons, and it is you who can really make others fall in love with you.
Even if that person knows that you have a lot of flaws, you are not perfect, your body is not the best, and your character is flawed, but he still loves you because you let him see a complete self, you have your own independent thoughts, you have your own pursuits, you belong to yourself.
When a woman no longer tries to live to be someone else, no longer tries to rely on others, when she fully lives herself, the charm she has is infinite, and anyone who approaches her will feel a kind of light and will be attracted to her.
Therefore, in this life, if a woman wants to get a real love, the first thing to do is not to see who is good to you and who is not good to you, but to let yourself belong to yourself and live out your own appearance, then you will naturally meet the person who really loves you.
For example, Yang Dai, why can she let Qian Zhongshu love her for a lifetime? Is it just because she gave enough?
Obviously not, Qian Zhongshu once said that Yang Dai uniquely combines the three incompatible: wife, lover, and friend. In his heart, Yang Dai was the most virtuous wife and the most talented woman.
Imagine if you had such a high rating in your other half's heart, and your other half admired you so much, do you think he would still like someone else? Don't you think he would be proud to have you? Do you think he will still not give you his true heart?
The reason why Yang Dai can have such a high evaluation in Qian Zhongshu's eyes must not be that Qian Zhongshu himself made it up out of thin air, nor is it that Qian Zhongshu asked Yang Dai to become such a person, but that Yang Dai himself did this.
For Yang Chen, she has lived her whole life.
Many people think that Yang Dai's marriage to Qian Zhongshu belongs to the next marriage, Yang Dai, as a woman in the new era, should be very repulsive to some of the old gifts in Qian Zhongshu's family, but in Yang Dai's eyes, these are nothing, whether it is performing old rituals or working for the family, it is Yang Dai's heart voluntary, she does not feel hard, and she never complains.
Treating her in-laws, treating her family, treating her daughter and husband, and treating work and life, etc., Yang Dai has never had an unwilling mentality, and she can do whatever she thinks in her heart.
It's hard to imagine why she would do this willingly, for simple reasons:
She never forced herself to live as someone else, she always had something she liked to do, and her heart was satisfied.
If a person is satisfied in her heart, she will be extra tolerant of everything that happens in life and the people around her, and it is easier to get the likes of others.
So, as a woman, no matter how much you like someone, and no matter how much you want to get someone's love, don't focus on the other person, but on yourself. Humble and flattering, as well as blind expectation, will not make others love you more, only if you let others see a shining self, others will really fall in love with you.
The premise of liking a person is appreciation, and if there is no such thing, no matter how much a person likes you, it is just to say that one day when he is fresh, he will not like it.
Of course, it is not easy for anyone to live out their own life, after all, this requires certain conditions to do.
One is that you have to have your own independent ideas, and you know what you want. If your ideas come from others, you can only live like someone else, not yourself.
Second, you must dare to accept the voice of others to refute it. If you want to live yourself, you will inevitably clash with the ideas of others, after all, everyone wants a different life, at this time, you must learn to leave these different voices behind, and unswervingly do according to your own inner thoughts.
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