When I was young, I watched "Siege of the City", saw Fang Hongzhi's cowardice, saw Su Wenyun's vanity, saw Sun Roujia's heart, and saw Zhao Xinlin's open-mindedness, and now I am carefully tasting this book, and every time I read it, I have different feelings.
Li Meiting, who once felt obscene and trivial, also had a sense of responsibility hidden behind middle age; Su Wenyun, who was once ashamed, let me see her transparent and excellent side; Fang Hongwei, who was extremely disdainful in his heart, also had his bitter and helpless side.
"Siege of the City" not only writes about the bittersweet and bittersweet of marriage, but also the ups and downs of life, in addition, we can also taste the complexity of various human natures and the way of dealing with the world from this book.
Qian Zhongshu once focused on three women who had entangled with Fang Hongzhi in the book, one was Tang Xiaofu, who had a dewy love affair with him, one su Wenyun who took the initiative to show love, and Sun Roujia, who played hard to marry him, and the three women used their life experiences to ring a wake-up call for all women: women with good lives have the courage to give up these two things.
01 When encountering bad feelings, you have the ability to stop losses in time
Yang Dai once commented that Qian Zhongshu's Tang Xiaofu was "a character favored by the author and was unwilling to marry her to Fang Hongwei".
She is innocent, agile, brave and beautiful in one, Qian Zhongshu gave her a regrettable ending, and achieved the image of the "first love goddess" that men cannot forget.
Tang Xiaofu and Fang Hongwei met through Su Wenyi, the two were like-minded, letters continued, and their feelings quickly warmed up.
However, this relationship was quickly and ended by Su Wenyun's agitation, and after Su Wenyun gradually showed love to Fang Hong and was rejected, he told Tang Xiaofu about the "sexual encounter" between Fang Hongwei and Miss Bao, as well as the fact that he had a marriage contract, and even lived in the home of his deceased fiancée's parents after returning to China.
Tang Xiaofu is a person who cannot tolerate sand in her eyes, and the Fang Hong in her eyes is gradually sincere and humorous, and she is knowledgeable, and she cannot accept Fang Hongwei's abusive, complex, and emotionally rich love field veteran.
Although her heart was unwilling, even though she was heartbroken, she still had to endure the soft heart and said harshly to him, "Mr. Fang's past is too rich!" The man I love, I want to be able to occupy his whole life, he did not pass before he met me, leaving a blank waiting for me. ”
The psychological process described in the original work of Tang Xiaofuti's breakup is full of contradictions and struggles, several times she wants to impulsively tell Fang Hongxian that she does not care, as long as he can explain to her, she will forgive him, even if he is lying to him, she also confessed, but in the end she still chose to be cruel and completely broke this relationship that she thought was inappropriate.
Lu Qi said in "Love Needs Stop Loss", "In this world, you will get what you want." If you get something you don't want, you have to throw it away in time, otherwise you will get more and more wrong. ”
In the old days, simple girls like Tang Xiaofu, who were born in the rich and had no intentions, were mostly stupid and enthusiastic when they encountered love, they had the determination of moths to put out fires, and they had the persistence of fighting against themselves, but few like Tang Xiaofu, who had rational judgment and clear thinking, and when they consciously encountered bad feelings, they could have the courage to decisively cut the emotions.
When we encounter an inappropriate relationship and meet an inappropriate person, the saddest thing is never to break up, but you know that you have many incompatibilities in this relationship, and you are doomed to be unhappy and comfortable, but you look left and right, and you have been reluctant to let go.
In people's lives, there will always be one or two "bad people", and only by stopping the loss in time can they embrace happiness again, and the vast sea of people, leaving the rotten peach blossoms, can they plant the fruits of marriage; let go of the bad people, in order to meet the lover.
02 When you are young, you do not covet comfort, and you can quit the ability to be inert
Zeng Guofan said: "All the mediocre people in the world, ancient and modern, have been defeated by a lazy word. ”
Fang Hongwei originally took a hand of Wang Fried, but because of the greed for a moment of comfort, all day greed for pleasure, laziness, study abroad for a few years, nothing to achieve back in China, in order to face and give a family an explanation, he bought a fake diploma in the country indiscriminately, so that the job search road was repeatedly criticized.
Su Wenyun is also an alumnus with him, after studying abroad for a few years, he took a real doctorate, although people who have watched "Siege of the City" say that Su Wenyun is vain and scheming, but he has to admit that she does have her excellent side.
She has the superiority of being born in the rich, has a family background higher than ordinary people, has an elegant and clear appearance, put in the old times, she is such a big girl as long as she learns some simple literacy and hyphenation, the way of the husband, but she went to college, and read a female doctorate, in that era when men's reading is extremely scarce, she is a woman who can complete her doctoral studies all the way, in addition to her own resilience, she has her own vision and pattern.
If Su Wenyi's superior life depends on her family background, then look at Sun Roujia, a woman who has been in an inferior situation from the beginning, who has completed her university studies all the way by relying on her perseverance, and has suffered a lot and found a job as a teaching assistant.
People who have read the original work should know what kind of suffering Sun Roujia has suffered on the way to Sanlu University, they have been drenched in rain, frozen, starved, slept in the wilderness, lived in a haunted house, even the four big men can't help but cry bitterly, but Sun Roujia gritted her teeth and endured.
While other women are waiting for their mother's family to find a good relationship for themselves, marry a good family to spend the second half of their lives comfortably, Sun Roujia is not afraid of hardships, not afraid of wind and rain to seek a future for themselves to fight for their careers.
"Siege" surrounds not only a marriage full of smoke, but also a bitter life that has become a problem with survival after being greedy and lazy when you are young.
Especially women, if they blindly covet comfort when they are young, do not struggle when they should struggle, do not read when they should study, and when they become adults, they will delusionally rely on marriage to change their lives and achieve a leap in life class.
On the other hand, those who work hard have long abandoned laziness and slackness, picked up self-discipline and courage, planned their lives all the way, and lived a beautiful scenery in the eyes of others.
03 Conclusion
In fact, whether it is Tang Xiaofu or Sun Roujia, they are all women with extreme personality and independent thoughts, they have read books, seen the world, and will never limit themselves to a certain place.
Although Sun Roujia's choice of marriage or her family background is far inferior to Tang Xiaofu, a woman with tenacity and perseverance like her, even if she finally leaves Fang Hongwei, will certainly have her world, because her independence allows her to have the confidence and choice of life no matter when.
A truly good woman will never wait for the opportunity to come to her, let alone take love as all, and hope to rely on a man to give you a sense of security and food, but no matter when, you have the ability to make yourself happy.