Looking at "Siege of the City" again, I understand why Fang Hong will gradually have a career marriage that is not smooth

Mr. Yang Dai once said that when you were young, you thought that not reading books was not enough to understand life. It wasn't until later that I discovered that if I didn't understand life, I couldn't actually read books.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu's novel "Siege of the City" brings this feeling to readers, and people of all ages will have different understandings when reading this book. Young people generally don't feel very deeply when they read it after middle age, and you will find that many people in the book are familiar, even our own copies.

In the novel, Fang Hong gradually returned to work at a foreign firm in Shanghai, but after a bumpy ride to San lu University to teach because of his lost love, he was dismissed for various reasons and could only return to Shanghai. In the middle of this, he also experienced emotional entanglements with Miss Bao, Su Wenyun, Tang Xiaofu and Sun Roujia, and eventually married Sun Roujia, but ended up discrete and lost his job at the same time.

When we read this book carefully, we found that we had made many mistakes like Fang Hongwei.

One, wasting money and squandering time

Many people make the mistake of squandering their youth when they are young and waiting for it to wake up before it is too late.

When Fang Hongwei was in high school, his father booked him a family affair, which he himself was unwilling to do, but he lacked the spirit of resistance. His fiancée has one of the biggest benefits: a good family and a rich father.

Perhaps Fang Hongzhi and this Miss Zhou are indeed too shallow fate, a few years after the engagement, Miss Zhou passed away due to illness, and her father Manager Zhou was greatly touched by Fang Hongwei's earnest letter of condolence and funded him to study abroad.

This is an opportunity that only a rich man can have, but unfortunately he did not cherish it. The book reads:

He switched to three universities in four years, London, Paris, berlin, and took a few courses at random, with a wide range of interests, no experience, and a particularly lazy life.

Four years later, seeing that the money in his pocket was almost squandered, he decided to return to China. However, he was unable to confess to his father and father-in-law, so he bought a fake doctoral diploma and passed the test.

This fake diploma determines that his career is doomed to be difficult, the fake is not true, and the liar is most afraid of the lie being exposed.

Shortly after he returned to China, he left Shanghai because of his frustration and went to teach at Sam Lu University. Because he could not get a real doctoral diploma, he could only be relegated to the rank of associate professor, and his knowledge was not enough, and it was difficult to be alone. In addition, he would not have a good relationship with various people, so he encountered the embarrassment of being dismissed, and had to return to Shanghai in a gray and slippery manner.

He is very smart, especially like to play a little clever, if he works hard enough in four years, it is not difficult to get a real diploma, why get a fake diploma to come back to the Mongolians, which also leads to various embarrassments later, becoming a "useless person" in Zhao Xinlin's mouth?

Some would say, who doesn't make mistakes when they're young? But some mistakes can be made, and some mistakes cannot be made. "When the book is used, fang hates late", at what age people have to do something, when they should read with their hearts, Fang Hong gradually chose to be lazy and casual, how can life repay him with songs?

Second, we must not clean ourselves up and humiliate ourselves

Fang Hong gradually returned from staying in the ocean and met Miss Bao on the ship. Miss Bao is bold and unrestrained, full of style, and her clothes are cool, and she is privately called "cooked meat shop" by the men in the same boat.

It is such a "mature woman" who has set her sights on Fang Hongwei, who has no emotional experience,

"Mr. Fang, you taught me to think of my fiancé, and you look very similar to him!"

"Mr. Fang, Miss Su is not coming back today, and we both sleep alone today."

This naked seduction made Fang Hong gradually confused, the ghost made God send, and the two people quickly hooked up. Just when Fang Hong was gradually overwhelmed, Miss Bao withdrew, she just regarded Fang Hong as a temporary "sexual partner", after a night of passion, it was like a stranger, and Fang Hong gradually did not know anything, and had been trying to entangle, Miss Bao felt that he was too annoying.

It wasn't until Miss Bao disembarked that Fang Hong gradually saw her plunge into the arms of a dark-skinned, semi-bald, and large-bespectacled fat man that he felt insulted in his heart.

Knowing that the other party has a fiancé, but holding a proud idea:

"You can enjoy her fiancé's rights without having to fulfill the obligation to marry her"

In his heart, he has always been stealing joy, stealing joy himself to take advantage, and he knows that he is just a plaything that is being played by the other party.

If you don't have a little dirt in your heart, how can you be played like a fool? Every act of disobedience will bring bad consequences to themselves, so that when Su Wenyun complained about Tang Xiaofu in the future, this disgraceful history of Fang Hongzhi and Miss Bao was shaken out by her, which became one of the reasons why Fang and Tang broke up.

Third, obviously do not love, but do not resolutely refuse

Su Wenyun is an unpleasant character in "Siege", and when she is mentioned, most people say that she is green tea. She did have such and such problems, but the entanglement between her and Fang Hongwei, Fang Hongwei's problems were more.

Miss Su, like Miss Bao, started Fang Hongwei's idea on the boat back to China. But Miss Su disdains to do Miss Bao's kind of down-to-earth work, she is dignified, elegant, unspeakable, unattainable. Because of this, Fang Hong gradually respected her and stayed away.

However, it is clear that Miss Su is interested in his. Originally, she regarded love as extremely precious and refused to give it to her at will, but as she grew older, she found herself locked in a box, and the good clothes she had been reluctant to wear for many years were no longer fashionable. She had to make plans for her marriage, so she looked at Fang Hongwei, who looked good, had a good family background, and seemed to have enough money.

Miss Su deliberately did a lot of things for Fang Hongwei, such as: hand towels, mending socks, sewing buttons... These things were beyond the scope of his friends, which frightened Fang Hong's heart. It is enough to see how resistant he is to Miss Su!

When the ship arrived in Shanghai, Su Wenyun left an address for Fang Hongwei, if Fang Hong gradually had no feeling for Miss Su, he could go here and have nothing to do with it, however, he did not want to be lonely, but he took the initiative to provoke. His inner reaction to Miss Sue was:

"I know that it may be troublesome from now on, but it is too boring, and the ready-made girlfriend is too scarce, just like people who can't sleep, they can't care about the harm of sleeping tablets, first try to find the comfort in front of them." 」

If there is no appearance of Tang Xiaofu, according to Fang Hongwei's personality, there is a high probability that he will marry Miss Su, and he is so dragging mud and water, presumably he can't say no. But Tang Xiaofu appeared, it was the real goddess in his eyes, and he was in love with Tang Xiaofu while perfunctory Miss Su. Miss Su ruined the relationship between him and Tang Xiaofu, which was also expected.

If you don't love, don't give each other hope, because once you don't handle it well, the other party will hate because of love. Fang Hongwei's indecisive, dragging mud and water personality made him suffer a big loss, making him eventually lose Tang Xiaofu. A most unforgettable love in his heart was finally a flower.

Fourth, a marriage without love is unfair to anyone

Frustrated by the love scene, Fang Hong gradually decided to leave the sad place of Shanghai, just in time to receive an offer from Sanlu University, so he and several other people bumped all the way to Xiangxi. The only woman among these people is Sun Roujia.

Sun Roujia was quiet and did not say much, but her appearance was not outstanding. Fang Hongzhi had always treated her like a small white rabbit, harmless to humans and animals, completely unaware that he had unconsciously fallen into the sleeve carefully prepared for him by Sun Roujia.

She used a lot of small tricks, dressed herself as weak and pitiful, and needed protection, aroused Fang Hong's desire for protection, and easily made him marry herself. And Fang Hongzhi did not have love for her, he walked into this marriage, but it was just a boat along the water.

"Like that girl, but it doesn't seem to be a passionate love, maybe just like herself and Roujia, so it can be seen that marriage doesn't need too great love, and it's enough not to hate each other." 」

He was so accommodating to his heart that he married with such a thought. However, there is a lack of love in the marriage, and all that remains is to quarrel day after day, and finally live the life into a chicken feather.

Fifth, pretentious, in fact, low emotional intelligence

Fang Hong gradually had a poisonous tongue, and the words that usually came out of his mouth were yin and yang, mocking, and ridiculed, and he himself was self-righteous.

It cannot be denied that part of his words are not wrong, but extremely correct. But because of this, many people hate him because he tells the truth, the kind of truth that is difficult to listen to. As Takamatsu Nian, president of Samlu University, gave him: "This young man has a lot of mouths, so he is not funny."

No one will like this way of speaking, and he is often smug. The truly talented and learned person is disdainful of fighting such a lip service, but he is happy to do so, and he does not know that he has offended many people, and has been ostracized and resented. Like him, how he died in the end may not know.

In short, if Fang Hong gradually studied abroad and worked hard, he would not repeatedly hit a wall in his career; if he was not tempted by Miss Bao and did not provoke Miss Su, he would follow another path. Or they wouldn't get to know Miss Tang, they wouldn't go to that Sanlu University, and they wouldn't meet Sun Roujia.

However, where are there so many ifs in life? People will always make such and such mistakes in this life, and it is not terrible to make mistakes, but what is terrible is to make mistakes without knowing themselves, or to know that they are wrong and are unwilling to correct them.

May we all grow in the midst of making mistakes, remain sober in the process of growing, grow stronger in sobriety, and eventually live to be the self we want.