Author | Fan Deng Reading · Tea di
Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Children
Interpret the trailer
Meet · Meet your unknown self in the book.
Good evening to all book lovers, welcome to the reading column "Encounter" produced by Fan Deng Reading.
Today, I would like to share with you the novel of the famous scholar Qian Zhongshu - "Siege of the City".
Mr. Qian Zhongshu uses sharp writing to tell the story of the protagonist Fang Hong gradually being trapped by reality.
Everyone who has experienced the polishing of reality can see their own shadow in him.
"The Siege of the City" is Mr. Qian Zhongshu's most classic work, extremely ironic, and has been called the contemporary "Neo-Rulin Outer History".
And about this book, it seems that different ages will always have different feelings.
When he was young, he laughed at Fang Hong's gradual decadence and cowardice, but when he became an adult, he had the meaning of empathy.
But life is long, we will always encounter suffering and setbacks, and we will continue to struggle in them.
Some people succeed, some people fail, and in the end, what distinguishes us from "Fang Hongwei" is actually the choice when we are struggling.
Complaining is instinctive
For Fang Hongwei, his father is a famous squire, the family conditions are not bad, and he has the experience of staying in the West.
Compared with many people in his contemporaries, he is already on a higher starting line.
But no one could have imagined that in less than two years, his life would get worse and worse.
When Fang Hongwei studied abroad, he changed three schools in four years.
Time flies, and seeing that he is about to graduate, Fang Hongwei has to spend $30 to buy a fake diploma and pass in front of his father and father-in-law.
Because of the fake diploma, and because he did not have any real talent and practical learning, Fang Hong gradually suffered a cold treatment at San lu University.
Looking around at the people around him who had become professors by nepotism, he began to complain about the unfairness of fate.
Others can rely on relationships to get mixed up, but they can't show their skills, and can only be subordinated.
Every piece of his work is held with the mentality of getting by, neither motivated nor happy.
When faced with the situation of being dismissed, he always felt that it was someone else's problem, and he resented others for excluding him and could not tolerate him.
When Tang Xiaofu knew of his amorous past, he blamed all the fault on Su Wenyun's head, complained that she was full of scheming, and even became angry about it.
The writer Sanmao once said:
"Occasionally complaining may be a catharsis of some kind of emotion, and it is not necessary, but habitually complaining without seeking change is not a smart person."
In real life, many people like Fang Hongwei find various reasons for mistakes and unwillingness in life.
Lamenting the misfortunes of life, complaining about the injustices of life, but never thinking about what you have paid for in it.
In psychology, there is a "theory of attribution."
If people are accustomed to attributing both success and failure to their level of effort, it will increase the persistence of future efforts.
Conversely, if attributed to external factors, the persistence of one's own efforts is greatly reduced.
Many times, when you start complaining about external factors, you have lost the possibility of saving yourself.
Lu Xun once said:
"Often when a person starts complaining, things speed up in the direction he complains."
Although complaining is everyone's right, blindly complaining is easy to enter a vicious circle.
Not only will it not solve the problem, but it will make life worse.
There will always be unsatisfactory times in life, if you will only struggle in complaining, life will never turn around.
Self-crossing is the ability
The marriage of Fang Hongwei and Sun Roujia was the result of mutual agreement from the beginning.
Soon after getting married, the quarrels between the two were commonplace, quarreling for money, quarreling for the relationship between concubines, and even quarreling for Zhao Xinlin.
After losing his job at Sam Lu University, Fang gradually returned to Shanghai and was introduced by a friend to become the director of the information office of a news agency.
Although she has a job, her salary is only half of Sun Roujia's, and her heart is even more unbalanced.
When he heard Aunt Sun Roujia say that he "has no ability and is not small in temper", he was angry and went out.
He lost his wallet on the road, failed to get on the tram, and when he came back, he threw all his gas on Rou Jia.
In fact, originally Fang Hong gradually went home to make it clear to Rou Jia that he planned to live a good life.
But in the end, it was a mess and ended with a big fuss.
I often see such a sentence: "Young people do not know Fang Hongwei, and they are already people in the book." ”
Indeed, like Fang Hongwei, each of us lives as a chicken feather, filled with the trivialities and overwhelming sufferings of life.
But as the saying goes, all sentient beings are suffering, and they can only cross themselves.
As long as we dare to cut through thorns and face difficulties head-on, we can eventually live to become truly strong.
Ji Xianlin once wrote in "Sorrow and Joy self-crossing":
"There are thousands of situations in the world, bittersweet and sorrowful, stumbling and undulating, except for self-crossing, others can't help it."
To be alive is to open the way to the mountains and build bridges in the water.
The strong man becomes the strong because he can have the strength to work hard in the difficult and dark days.
Life is really hard, and what others can give is only temporary help.
Only by learning to cross yourself can you better handle things in life and live a better life.
Ferry people are the pattern
For Fang Hongwei, Zhao Xinlin is a being who is also a teacher and a friend.
Although he first helped Fang Hongwei because of the identity of "love enemy", over time, the friendship between the two has long been deep.
On the way to San Lu University, Zhao Xinlin saw the nature of Li Meiting and Gu Erqian.
After the trip, he reminded Fang Hongwei that he would stay away from them in the future.
Since falling out with his titular father-in-law, Fang Hong gradually lost his job at the bank, and Zhao Xinlin helped him find a position at Sam Lu University.
And every job he later did was recommended by Zhao Xinlin.
When Fang Hong gradually got married, he did not have much money at hand.
In order to make him have no burden, Zhao Xinlin borrowed a lot of money from the reason of the congratulatory gift.
Later, he married himself, but did not invite Fang Hongwei, but briefly mentioned it in a later letter.
Maybe others don't understand, but Fang Hongzhi understands the deep meaning:
"He didn't notify me of his marriage because he was afraid that I would give gifts, and he forgave me for being poor, knowing that we had received his generous gifts when we got married, and we must return the gifts."
Zhao Xinmei was well aware of Fang Hongwei's self-esteem and forstood his difficulties, so she always reached out to help without hesitation.
The "Augmentation of The Sages" has a saying: "But do good deeds, do not ask about the future." ”
No one's life is smooth sailing.
But as long as you are willing, even if you are ordinary like you and me, you can become a light and cross others to cross yourself.
Life is in the world, people are mutual, and the kindness that is paid will eventually give back to themselves.
Crossing people is a kind of kindness, but also a pattern.
Give dots when others are confused, give comfort when others are sad, and lend a helping hand when others are in distress, illuminating others and warming yourself at the same time.
Les Misérables writes:
"The widest thing in the world is the ocean, the sky is wider than the ocean, and what is wider than the sky is the human mind."
Self-crossing is a skill, but crossing is a rare mind, which can not only help others dispel suffering, but also make their hearts more prosperous.
Write at the end
The tragedy of Fang Hongwei's life is to jump from one "besieged city" to another, trying to solve difficulties through the external environment.
The result can be imagined, and eventually trapped in the siege.
Each of us has a life of siege after siege.
However, a different attitude towards life ultimately determines the strength of the "siege" to destroy us.
Choose the weak who complain, give up saving themselves, and eventually stumble in the siege for life;
The strong who strive to cross themselves are often able to break out of the city and change their destiny;
And the sages who are kind enough to cross people, gather the warmth of the world, and can dispel the haze in the besieged city.
In the face of suffering in life, complaining is instinct, self-crossing is the skill, and crossing people is the pattern.
Life is hurried, not only to be your own ferryman, but also to have the mind of ferrying others.
Click "Looking" and may we all have a strong ability to heal ourselves, and while becoming a light ourselves, we can also sprinkle starlight to illuminate the path of others.
Author | Cha Di, a Pisces with a dream of writing, hopes that words have temperature and dreams have power.
Column Director | Come slowly
Typography | Zheng to the north
Image | The pictures in this article come from the stills of the TV series "Siege", which was invaded and deleted
Music | Zhang Yi, "When It Rains"