The picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted
Preface
Mr. Qian Zhongshu once wrote in the book "Siege of the City": "Marriage is like a besieged city, people in the city want to go out, people outside the city want to come in." ”
Indeed, for the besieged city of marriage, it is always the desire of people outside the city, and the helplessness of the people in the city. People outside always think that everything will be fine when they enter the city, but only the people in the city know that life in the city is bitter and bitter.
Xiao Li is a foreign daughter-in-law who just passed the door last year, and it is reasonable to say that the life of the newlywed wife should be sweet and happy, but in fact, it is not, Xiao Li often washes her face with tears when she can't sleep at night.
"If I can, I would like to advise all girls who intend to marry far away from home not to make this decision." People can't live a lifetime by love, because the chicken feathers of life will never let you go. ”
Xiao Li's feelings come from her personal experience, and even more from her long-term uneasiness. In her opinion, there are three reasons why you don't want to marry far away.
01 The language barrier is very insecure
Xiao Li is a northern girl, because she came to the south to study, she met her current husband, and at the beginning of love, the two people, whether they are interests or hobbies, can always hit it off.
We talked like this for four or five years, and finally got married last year. After marriage, the husband often calls his mother-in-law and sometimes takes him home.
However, every time, whether at the dinner table or on the phone, the family will always speak in tongues together. Xiao Li couldn't understand, so he got up and left.
"Sometimes I feel like an outsider, and when I hear my mother-in-law mention my name, of course I rush to ask my husband what he said. But he either said nothing, or he thought I was suspicious and always worried that others were saying bad things. ”
Mentioning this, Xiao Li is full of grievances, saying that "being alone in a foreign land is a stranger", she thinks that after forming a family, the loneliness will always be reduced a little, but everything is different from what she thinks.
Married far away from home, life is not familiar, when the language is not understood, it will really feel very lonely, it is easy to think about the east and the west, invisibly increase the contradictions and quarrels.
02 Different habits, there will be many contradictions in life
Xiao Li said that her in-laws treated her very well, and every time she went home, she let her husband and herself eat more, not to lose weight, and the big fish and meat almost never left the table.
However, Xiao Li, who has received a new era education, knows that his and her husband's figure is already fat among his peers, and last year's physical examination, her husband also suffered from fatty liver.
So usually at home, she will urge each other to lose weight and not eat greasy. However, his own ideas cannot be understood by his in-laws, and whenever he sees his son thin, he will desperately try to give him vegetables.
Xiao Li and her husband communicated many times, but in the end they were still isolated, the husband was greedy, the in-laws preferred, and Xiao Li watched her husband's waist circumference getting bigger and bigger every day.
In the face of this difference, Xiao Li will miss her parents very much, because usually at home, her parents will also require her to eat healthily, exercise well, and pay attention to her living habits.
Xiao Li very much wanted his parents to follow along to persuade her husband, but thinking that they were thousands of miles away, even if they told them, it would be in vain to increase their worries, so they once again carried everything alone.
03 Too far from home, nowhere to go when sad
In fact, whether it is before or after marriage, Xiao Li and her husband have a mouth that is open and reprimands each other, but every time there is a fight, Xiao Li will be more sad.
Because she found that what hurt people more than those quarrelsome words was that after each dispute, she had nowhere to go, and she walked down the street with tears in her eyes, homesick, thinking of her parents.
"Nearby KFC and convenience stores, I've been almost always, and each time it's most of the night. It is said that the night is the time when a person's emotions are most likely to collapse, and indeed, I have broken down too many times. ”
In Xiao Li's view, the feelings of several years broke up because of a temporary dispute, which was too much of a child, but the concessions and indulgences again and again were exchanged for only red eyes and crying again and again.
Xiao Li said that in fact, she has no relatives and friends in this city, if she is not in love with her husband, maybe this city is just a place on the map, and has nothing to do with herself.
But because of love, she chose here and left her hometown. However, if a place can't give you the feeling of "home", then no matter how luxurious it is, it has nothing to do with you.
epilogue
Xiao Li said that she wants to fight hard now, buy a house for her parents as soon as possible, and take them over, so that she can really "settle down", otherwise, even if she lives for a long time, she will still be an outsider in this city.
"It's too hard to marry far away, it's too lonely, and if you don't have full confidence, I hope all girls don't suffer from this."
Every girl is born a princess, and even when she meets a prince, her father is still her king. A girl who can always be by her parents' side is happy.
Maybe they can't understand it for the time being, but in the hearts of those who are far away, staying by their parents' side all their lives is the greatest blessing in the world.
——End
I am Zhang Zhang, accompanying you to "talk about love and love", and also accompany you to tea life.
If you like my words, welcome to follow me and let me accompany you, a pot of turbid wine to taste life.
Life is too bitter, chicken soup is very warm, replenish the body and mind, brave to go.