This article is reproduced from the public number: how about growing slower
（ID：guoxiaoxi0415)
The so-called meaning of marriage is that you sincerely want to marry him, and he is full of expectations to marry you
Wen | Mengxichen
Qian Zhong wrote a book called "The Siege of the City". Many people may not be familiar with the contents of this book, but they clearly remember a sentence in this book: Marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the siege want to come in, and people in the besieged city want to go out.
Perhaps when we first started reading this book, we would constantly wonder what Qian Zhongshu's marriage looked like. It wasn't until later that I clearly understood that what Qian Zhongshu and Yang Dai had built was the siege of love. In the midst of this siege, they didn't want to come out for a moment.
The love and marriage of Yang Dai and Qian Zhongshu have created classics in the history of literature, from acquaintance to acquaintance to love to flash marriage, scene after scene.
But why don't we know that the era of cars, horses, and mail is very slow, and only one person is loved in a lifetime.
Even so, one thing that can never be changed is that marriage must be a union of consensual wishes, not a whim, let alone a surrender to others.
Marriage is not a siege, but people turn it into a siege
Now there are more and more young people who are afraid of marriage, and the reason for the fear of marriage is because they see too many unhappy marriages. What's more, the news also reported that the husband killed his wife, and I really couldn't figure out how much hatred I had to do to make such a cruel move.
Isn't the reason two people are together in the first place because of love?
Although the times are progressing, people's minds have not kept pace with the times, and they still stay in their ideological concepts because they are not young, so they need to get married.
When the criterion for measuring whether a person wants to get married becomes age, and whether they like it or not, whether they are compatible in personality, and whether they have similar temperaments, all become irrelevant.
Two days ago, I saw a video and I was deeply touched.
A little friend said to Grandma, "Grandma, I want to be a doctor when I grow up." ”
Grandma said, "It's good to be a doctor, and it's a high social status to be a doctor." ”
Grandpa said, "Well, the treatment is not bad." ”
Mom said, "There's other income besides salary." ”
Dad said: "More importantly, it is convenient to find a girlfriend in the future." ”
At this time, the child looked at everyone doubtfully.
Dad then asked, "Son, tell Dad why you want to be a doctor?" ”
The child said, "Isn't the doctor treating the sick and saving people?"
After the children finished speaking, the adults looked at each other.
In fact, many times, what is the reason you chose in the first place, you will get closer and closer to something.
A person who becomes a doctor because of his high income will inevitably not be tempted by interests; a person who becomes a doctor because of his social status will find it difficult to lower his posture and think from the perspective of the patient. Only from the very beginning, thinking about treating the sick and saving people, can we put more energy into saving lives and helping the injured.
This is the same as the original intention of marriage, if from the beginning it is not because they like it together, and they have not thought about managing the relationship well, then the marriage is bound to become a siege.
Because marriage is never a one-person affair, as long as one of the two parties does not come with the determination to spend a lifetime together, they may lose to various tests at some turn.
Second, I don't want to panic and get married because I don't want to be in an inappropriate person and think that love is nothing more than that
I'm not married, not because I don't want to get married, it's just that I don't want to get married casually.
The happiness and longevity of marriage is by no means measured by the sooner or later of marriage.
When you meet someone you really like and really want to marry him, and he also wants to marry you with great anticipation, put you in the future life plan, wants to have a home with you, and wholeheartedly manage the marriage, then get married.
The most I hear now is that you're 30 years old, you should be married, why aren't you married yet. Yeah, why? I was thinking about it too, but I didn't find an answer that satisfies everyone.
Marriage should not only have love, but also respect, equality and freedom. At any time, you can't give up your bottom line and dignity because of love.
She saw through the glitz of the world, but she did not see through her own life. She wrote through the love of men and women, but did not see through her own love. She is Zhang Ailing, a talented woman of the Republic of China.
"When she saw him, she became very low, very low into the dust, but her heart was joyful, and flowers blossomed from the dust." This is Zhang Ailing's "Self-Titled Photo".
That is to say, Zhang Ailing is very clear about her emotional state, she knows her position in this relationship, but when she compromises, she loses, and she loses so completely.
Her compromise was not exchanged for Hu Lan's wholehearted treatment, but more unscrupulous and intensified, until the two broke off.
Good marriages are mutually successful, not lose-lose or self-defeating.
So, don't panic and start a relationship that you can't control, and don't be in an inappropriate person who thinks that love is nothing more than that.
Third, why get married? It's when you find that two people together are more interesting than one person
When you like someone, you want to do a lot of things with him and want to share with him what you think is good, fun, good to look at.
You find it more interesting to be with him than it was when you were alone.
He will become your help, we all know that on the road of life, there will never be smooth sailing, and two people who love each other will also stumble. But no matter what kind of difficulties you encounter, what problems you have, you can handle it, he will not leave everything to you alone, he will tell you, don't be afraid, I am by your side.
You will find that only when married life is harmonious, you have the time and energy to do what you want to do and become the person you want to be. Otherwise, you will waste time every day on grievances, suspicions, run-ins and quarrels until you become hating yourself.
So, love is not a consumable, but a boost, and marriage is the same.
You have to know that you and that person are going to go through 30, 40, or even 50 years hand in hand, not just a few days, and you have to give yourself to someone who can spend the rest of your life with you.
Don't be afraid to be lonely, you have many opportunities to make life interesting, and don't worry about getting old, even if you are old, you must be cute.
What you have to do is to live seriously, love yourself well, exercise more, travel more, work out more, see the world more, and try to make yourself better. Only in this way, when one day, that person appears, you can stand by his side in the best state and say to each other: Please pay more attention to the first time you meet.
If one day, you get married, I would like to see you laughing happily, laughing happily from the heart, rather than being relieved to feel that you have finally completed the task.
Marriage is not the end of the task, but the beginning of happiness.
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