The encounter of love is always so hard-won, but from the moment of the meeting, it will come so naturally, as Zhang Ailing wrote in "Love":
"Meet the man you want to meet among thousands of people, in the endless wilderness of time for thousands of years, not one step earlier, not one step later, just in time, and there is nothing else to say, but to ask softly: "Oh, you are here too?"
The most beautiful love in the world is probably such a heartfelt smile, at that moment you know my heart, I know what you mean, just as the so-called love is strong, you have me, I have you!
And to achieve such a high level of love, it is necessary to understand and tolerate each other.
You and I understand simple truths, but how can the ability to love others be learned so easily?
Not to mention the highest ability in love, that is, the ability to understand and tolerate?
I heard that emotional psychological counseling will explain it for you: how to understand and be inclusive in love?
1
Understanding is a silent companionship
At the end of 1942, Yang Wei created the drama "Happy Heart", which was staged at the Jindu Grand Theater, Yang Wei quickly became popular, but when Qian Zhongshu wanted to write a novel, Yang Wei dropped everything and accompanied him wholeheartedly.
During the fall of Shanghai, in order to save money, Yang Wei dismissed the maid in the family and took over all the household chores by himself, chopping wood and making fires, all by himself.
The pampered rich lady in the past, now willingly becomes the benevolent helper of her lover, even if she is often smoked with fireworks full of tears or accidentally cut her fingers, she has never complained, only looking forward to the early publication of Qian Zhongshu's masterpiece.
Two years later, "Siege" came out successfully. Qian Zhongshu said in the preface to "The Siege":
"The book took two years to write. In the past two years, the world has been sad, and I have repeatedly wanted to stop. Due to Ms. Yang Di's constant supervision, she blocked a lot of things for me, saving time and being able to write it with a lot of money. As usual, this book should be dedicated to her. ”
Without Yang Wei's companionship and understanding, without her tolerance and encouragement, it would be difficult for Qian Zhongshu to complete this masterpiece. In those difficult years, the husband and wife were close to each other, respecting each other, and the understanding and tolerance of each other had long penetrated into the soul!
2
Tolerance is the deepest long-term affection
Lin Hui's love with Liang Sicheng has always been known as a good story, but Lin Huiyin has a poet Xu Zhimo who admires her, and Jin Yuelin, a great philosopher who will not marry her for life, but why did she choose the "muffled" Liang Sicheng?
In fact, a big reason is because of Liang Sicheng's infinite tolerance of her.
When Lin Huiyin told Liang Sicheng that she liked two men at the same time, Liang Sicheng said: If you think about it, I can fulfill you. When Lin Hui was seriously ill, Jin Yuelin read newspapers to her every day.
Liang Sicheng was outside the house, and after Jin Yuelin came, Liang Sicheng said: Huiyin is inside, you go in. Liang's infinite trust and tolerance of Lin eventually made this "first talented woman of the Republic of China" secretly believe in her heart, determined to stay for life.
Tolerance is the deepest long-term affection, it is not bound in the name of love, but with love to let the other person soar!
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How to understand and be inclusive in love
1
Not idealizing a partner
Before falling in love, we have an ideal partner in our hearts who can give whatever we want and meet all our needs.
However, everyone in the world is unique, and our partner may not fully meet our ideal standards, so please accept his shortcomings, please do not demand that he is not tall and handsome enough, and do not complain that she is not beautiful and sexy enough.
Everyone expresses love differently, so please be kind enough to understand each other's actions and words.
2
Don't often ask if you love or not
You may want to make sure over and over again whether your lover really loves you, but not every man can talk about love, so don't be skeptical when his answer "love you or not" is not crisp, and don't let him turn this answer into a helpless habit.
We need to believe in our hearts that we are worthy of love, and we need to learn to experience the other person's wordless commitment, such as when he quietly looks at you and smiles, silently letting you hold his hand, which is actually the word of love.
3
Let love be expressed
In the face of misunderstandings, in the face of arguments, not everyone is good at refuting, so when there is a misunderstanding and your lover is silent, please do not push him away and cry red eyes alone.
Maybe it seemed to him to be just an unrelated matter, so it didn't need much explanation. So when he just wants to hug you, you might as well tolerate his verbal misrepresentation.
Our partner is not superhuman or god, so when you need a partner and they can't be there in the first place, don't blame him when he doesn't understand our feelings.
Remember, when he asks about it afterwards, give a gentle answer and tell him that he is all right and not worried.
If your lover can't understand what you mean, then we have to tell him clearly and clearly, so that he will love more easily, and we can get what we really want more easily.
4
Give each other space and freedom
Even if two people are together, each person has their own life.
She may like to read books and watch TV series quietly at home, and is reluctant to hang out with you or your friends; He may want to play games, and he may want to go out with friends for drinks and cards.
At this time, please don't scold her for not giving you face, please don't ask frequently by text messages and calls. Don't we also have our own personal space?
Please give each other enough space to have fresh air.
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