Life is a process of continuous enrichment and inner enrichment, and it is also a process of increasing thickness one after another.
Only by enriching one's inner beings can one not be engulfed by the world; only by drawing strength can one not lose oneself and one's direction.
All our lives, we are constantly renewing our old selves, completing the growth and transformation from scratch, and slowly consolidating our own life thickness in the process.
After years of vicissitudes, I realized that the value of life is not in length, but in thickness.
Only leniency can treat people, only thickness can carry things, and gentlemen can carry goods with thick virtue.
What kind of person a person can become, and what height he can reach, is largely determined by the people around him.
A saying on the Internet: "A person's level is the average of the five people he often contacts." "It can be seen that the person closest to you has a very great impact on yourself.
And these three kinds of people around us, they are nourishing and determining the thickness of our lives in terms of behavior, speech and morality.
1. Partner, is the direction of the establishment
Buffett, the god of stocks, said: "Partner, is the biggest investment in life." ”
A partner is the one who has been with you for the longest time in your life.
In life, a series of our actions or actions will affect each other and will also be affected by each other.
Among them, if you do not know how to correct each other's mistakes in time, you will only let the other party fall deeper and deeper in the abyss, and finally have a weak heart, unable to extricate yourself, and even more will drag yourself into the quagmire together.
I've seen a story like this.
A young couple originally lived happily and had sweet feelings.
However, while the wife was pregnant and waiting to give birth, the husband fell into the habit of gambling. Not only did he lose all his salary, but he couldn't even get the money to have a baby.
Even so, the wife has been allowing her husband to develop in consideration of their feelings for many years.
Her kindness and patience did not return to her husband's cliff pullback.
It was not until the husband slowly hollowed out the family foundation of the two people because of stock speculation that the wife suddenly realized that blindly not controlling it could not make the other party perceive their mistakes, but let each other lose control of life.
The wife began to advise her husband that he should return to the family, but he did not know that at this time, the husband was already deeply involved in it and could not save himself.
The whole family is crumbling because of the husband's drag, and no matter how strong the wife is, she can't hold on to the hopeless waiting for a long time, and slowly becomes discouraged and desperate, allowing things to slide to the edge of deterioration.
In life, not knowing how to stop and correct your partner's problems in a timely manner will only make the cracks between the two of you grow larger and larger until both sides lose.
The longer you spend with each other, the more you will understand that a true partner is someone who helps each other and moves forward together.
When two people have the same goal and direction, then any mistakes that deviate from the track will be corrected by each other in a timely manner.
The host Zhu Xun once told such an interesting story in his essay "Ah Xun".
In order to make Zhu Xun's professional ability to a higher level, her husband often pulled her over to discuss writing in a serious manner.
After Zhu Xun generally said the three words "please instruct", Wang Zhi began to say several suggestions in one breath:
"Your article has a lot of problems. First of all, you have to control the length, and condensation is the essence; second, you have to see the essence through the phenomenon.
Another problem is that your text is too lacking in humor..."
Listening to her husband's incessant words, Zhu Xun couldn't help but laugh out loud, but in his heart he thought: This man criticizes and guides me every morning, and he doesn't forget to assign tasks every time, and he is also too humorous.
Later, with the continuous support and help of her husband, Zhu Xun published his first book " Ah Xun " .
A good partner will not only walk side by side with you, but also point out the mistakes in your behavior and set up a path for you.
The so-called lixing is to let you strive to improve your own quality, enrich your own connotation, and improve your personality.
If moving forward is a practice, then having a partner who can constantly correct your behavior will make your life reach new heights and accumulate the thickness of life.
2. Friends are the standard of words
In "Xunzi Self-Cultivation", it was said:
"Therefore he who is not me, my teacher is also, and it is me who is in charge, and my friend is also."
Meaning, a man who is willing to affirm me, we can be friends with him.
And the person who can point out my mistakes and shortcomings and admonish me is not only our friend, but a good teacher.
In a person's life, if you have a friend who dares to speak, you have a weather vane on the road of the charge.
In Mr. Qian Zhongshu's "Siege of the City", Fang Hongzhi has such a friend, who behaves and talks comfortably, and passes on a lot of wisdom in speech to the people around him.
He is Zhao Xinlin.
The German philosopher Cassirer said, "A man without friends can only be half a man." ”
As far as Fang Hongzhi was concerned, Zhao Xinlin's existence had perfected him.
When he first met Zhao Xinlin, Fang Hong gradually spoke without regard for others, often without covering his mouth, causing people to be jealous.
Once, on the way to Hunan Sanlu University with Li Meiting and Zhao Xinlin, Li Meiting brought a box taller than a human head, which was filled with medicines.
Everyone understood that he wanted to profit from selling drugs, and everyone else knew it but didn't know it; but Fang Hongzhi mocked him openly and secretly.
Zhao Xinlin saw the displeasure on Li Meiting's face, and said cleverly:
"Mr. Li, you can't use so many medicines alone!" Did Takamatsu ask you to bring it for the school? ”
Although this sentence alludes to the truth of the matter, it also cleverly resolves the conflict between Li Meiting and Fang Hongwei.
Fang Hong gradually stayed with Zhao Xinlin from time to time, influenced by him, and slowly noticed his way of speaking, and his words began to have more kindness and humor.
One of Fang Hong gradually went to Zhao Xinlin's house, and happened to see that he had just dressed, not even buttoned, and because of the hot weather, his face became as red as a tomato.
Fang Hong gradually saw the situation and busied himself with the round field and said, "I also want to undress, please be the master's approval." ”
Zhao Xinlin did not invite Fang Hongwei to go there when he got married, nor did he speculate secretly as before, but instead said to his wife comfortingly:
"He didn't tell me when he got married, because he was afraid that I would give me a gift; he was considerate of my poverty, and he knew that we had received his generous gifts when we got married, and we must return the gifts."
At this time, Fang Hong gradually began to be able to think in a different position and put himself in the shoes of the other party.
True friends are the courage and wisdom to help him in time when the other party says inappropriate things;
True friends teach them to have a tolerant and generous heart when they don't know the difficulties of others.
The best friends you have been friends for a lifetime are the teachers who teach you to make a statement.
The so-called speech is to put forward insightful speech, rather than using words as a tool to vent emotions at will.
There are often winds and rains on the road of life, only by learning to speak, will we keep the thickness of life, and we will not be alone from now on.
3. Parents are the root of virtue
The Austrian educationalist Buber proposed: "Education worthy of the name is essentially character education. ”
Whether parents can cultivate their children's excellent moral character not only affects their children's future prospects, but also the best feng shui in a family.
Mo Yan once recalled his mother's profound influence on him in his work "Mother".
One summer, my mother was slapped hard by a tall guard while picking up ears of wheat in the wheat field, and then she shook and fell to the ground.
The ears of wheat in her hands were also confiscated, and the mother's eyes revealed great despair.
After many years, the mother and son met the caretaker again, and Mo Yan wanted to go forward to seek justice, but the mother said in a serious tone: "Son, the person who beat me, and this old man, are not alone." ”
His mother's words not only made Mo Yan re-examine "hatred", but at the same time, from his mother, he felt a warm kindness and heavy morality that nourished his whole body.
Mo Yan also said that one of the things he regretted the most in his life was that he collected an extra dime from an old man when he accompanied his mother to sell vegetables in order to rush to school.
When her mother learned of this, she tearfully said to him, "Son, you have disgraced your mother." His mother's self-blame made Mo Yan feel guilty.
Since then, Mo Yan has remembered his mother's teachings, adhered to the character of hard-working and humble treatment, and worked silently on the road of writing, and finally became the winner of the "Nobel Prize in Literature".
With these achievements, Mo Yan knew that it was inseparable from his mother's influence on his words and deeds from childhood.
Smart parents will build a good character for their children, because people can't go too far without morality.
Only by teaching children to establish themselves with moral character will they have a higher pattern and realm in life.
Teaching children to be virtuous is a lifelong task for parents. Because, Lide, can enrich life; Lide can enrich the future
Seneca said:
"Life is like a story, what matters is not how long it is, but how good it is."
Man lives, lives out of the temperature of this world, lives out of my depth, lives out of open-minded demeanor, and truly lives out the thickness.
If we want to forge the thickness of life, we must remember the following three things: morality, deeds, and words.
Parents tree "Lide" heart, let us accumulate virtue, understand conscience, and achieve the unity of knowledge and action;
Partners set the foundation of "standing up", let us improve ourselves, consolidate the foundation, and work together to advance together;
Friends learn the style of "making words", let us think carefully and discern, eliminate evil for good, and often treat others with generosity.
Only when one's inner cultivation has accumulated to a certain thickness can one possess the height of one's soul.
For the rest of our lives, may we have a blessed life of thickness and accumulate a lifetime of smoothness.