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The daily life of mutual fear with the mother, the contemporary mother-son/daughter relationship guide

Recently, I brushed the records of some young people chatting with their mothers, and I couldn't help but laugh. I can't help but sigh that the way young people and their mothers get along now is too enviable.

A college student asked his mother to transfer 500 yuan on WeChat, and the way his mother refused was hilarious. First of all, WeChat only has 200, but he will use it tomorrow, so he can only transfer 50 to him. What makes people open their minds is that the mother said that the 50 is given in installments, with a down payment of 5 yuan, and the rest is given in installments.

The daily life of mutual fear with the mother, the contemporary mother-son/daughter relationship guide

Image source: @梅玲教育

Seeing this, it made my face laugh. For a long time, the word "rebellious" has been used to describe children, and now it is not contrary to the sense of harmony on parents, and it is even more appropriate. But the mother's "rebellion" that is different from the tradition, and the daily life of mutual fear with the child, can make the mother and the child become friends, and even some living treasure mothers are not like parents, more like friends. Such mothers get along with their children and have a more harmonious relationship.

The younger generation of mothers and the previous generation of mothers have a big difference in their relationship with their children, mainly because of the different backgrounds of the times and the different environments in which they grew up. The differences in times and culture have created different ways for mothers and children to get along. But they all have the same expectations for their children, that is, they want them to grow up healthy and succeed.

Mother's Day is coming, let's talk about the differences between the way mothers and children of this generation and the previous generation get along, and see which way you prefer.

01

Communicate with your children on an equal footing, you might as well be a "rebellious" mother

The mother in the impression, just like the image in the textbook, is careful, patient, and frugal, always taking stock of everything for the child. But this generation of mothers, they are also a rebellious generation, even if they have relented after becoming mothers, but they have not changed the essence of casual freedom.

Today's mothers also have young vitality, they are the first generation to use QQ, their chat with their children on social platforms, let many young people ridicule, 120 pounds of mother, 119 pounds are anti-bone.

The daughter who is studying in a university far away stayed up late to do PPT, and her mother sent WeChat, saying seriously: "Why is college life so tense, how good is it leisurely, you can pass, what PPT!" This remark, the rebellious mother really hammered, it is estimated that when he was in college, he was also a lord who shouted "60 points long live".

The daily life of mutual fear with the mother, the contemporary mother-son/daughter relationship guide

Image source: @教育桥

On the child's birthday, the mother sent a WeChat red envelope to express her blessings, but the accompanying expression was "poop". The child reminded that this was not a cake, but the mother said "the expression can't be withdrawn, so let's eat it." Make sure it's a mother, with love, but not much.

The son wanted to ask for more living expenses, but did not say it directly, but fought a roundabout battle with the mother, but unexpectedly the mother's fire eyes Jin Qing saw through the child's mind at a glance. The child sent a WeChat message to his mother and said, "Mom, I'm ready to quit smoking, you supervise me." "The mother asked why he suddenly quit smoking, and his son said that the living expenses were too small and he needed to save it. The old mother immediately went back, "Smoke more, live a few years less and save money." When encountering a rebellious mother, the child can only be "crushed" back and forth on the ground.

The way modern young people get along with their mothers seems incredible in the previous generation. Mothers of the previous generation paid more attention to material aspects such as food, clothing, housing and transportation for their children, communication was a way to guide and command, and in order to show authority, they would never say sorry to their children.

Today's younger generation is more independent and autonomous, they value personal freedom and development, and tend to maintain a close but independent relationship with their mother. If mothers can be "rebellious", and children can be like friends can casually scare each other, do not need to take into account the unequal status between parents and children, and communicate with children equally, but make the family atmosphere more harmonious, children will also be more positive, sunny and optimistic under such influence.

02

Times change and affect the way mothers and children get along

As the times change, so do family structures and values, and these changes have a profound impact on the way mothers and children get along.

"Xiaomin's Family" is a TV series full of mother-daughter emotions, which shows the complex relationship between middle-aged people and mothers of the previous generation, as well as the mode of getting along between middle-aged people and the next generation of daughters, which can be called a contemporary mother-daughter guide.

In the play, the mother Wang Sumin desperately matched, so that her daughter Xiaomin married Jin Bo, the son-in-law she thought was good, how could she not expect it. After her daughter Xiaomin divorced, she left for more than ten years, and her son was raised by her mother Wang Sumin.

Wang Sumin is a typical older generation of thinking, longing for children to live well, but ignoring their own wishes. She silently guards the child and will not have sweet words or active explanations. Although her love is deep and concrete, the mother and daughter are cautious, both the constant love and affection, and the daughter's longing for marriage according to her mother's words. But all this, the relationship between mother and daughter is to forbear each other, not to make the words clear.

As Zhang Ailing said: Mother and daughter need to be careful, love is wrapped too depressed, only caution remains. A little unpleasant, like a grain of fine sand in a shoe, although it does not affect running, but it hurts to walk.

The daily life of mutual fear with the mother, the contemporary mother-son/daughter relationship guide

Image source: TV series "Xiaomin's House"

Compared with the "eighteen bends of the mountain road" of the older generation getting along mode, Li Ping, another strong woman's mother in the play, can be described as the queen of straight ball. Her daughter did not want to see the teacher, so she bought a limited amount of money to buy her daughter, so that her daughter would go to the teacher willingly. Her daughter did not want to study abroad, so she sat outside her room until she was convinced.

Unlike Wang Sumin, who silently pays for the bottom line, Li Ping's mode of getting along with her daughter is to express her emotions neatly, and they represent the way mothers and children get along in different eras.

In the previous generation, the family structure was mostly based on large families, and it was possible that grandparents, parents, siblings, and other generations lived together, and the mother of the family often played the role of taking care of the children and undertaking household chores. Such a family structure and social values at that time determined that the way mothers and children got along was relatively conservative and traditional.

As times have changed, in this generation, families tend to be nuclear families, with parents and children living alone. At this time, the mother has more responsibilities and roles, not only as the caregiver of the child, but also with the economic and social responsibilities of the family. Changes in family structures and more open and pluralistic social values have brought about changes in the way mothers and children get along. Today's mothers pay more attention to the communication and communication with their children, and also pay more attention to the personality and needs of their children, and the mode of getting along between mothers and children has naturally changed.

03

Cultural differences affect the way two generations of mothers and children get along

The mother-child relationship is one of the most important relationships in human society, but the characteristics of the mother-child relationship vary greatly in different cultural contexts.

The famous Taiwanese writer Long Yingtai has made two short family documentaries, respectively about her relationship as a mother and her two sons, and her relationship as a daughter and her mother.

As a writer who has been educated in Chinese and Western cultures, Long Yingtai can have a spiritual collision with her son, and finally become friends through efforts to eliminate barriers and conflicts between the two generations.

The daily life of mutual fear with the mother, the contemporary mother-son/daughter relationship guide

Image source: Long Yingtai family documentary "Girlfriend"

However, Long Yingtai regrets that although she loves her mother very much, she has not become friends with her mother, and she has never thought of treating her mother as a friend who can watch movies and eat together. Although she repented of this, she knew better in her heart that in the days of living with her mother, in the cultural context of the time, it was almost impossible to be friends.

Filial piety has long been regarded as an important moral code in China, and Confucianism emphasizes filial piety, which holds that children should respect and obey their parents. In the context of traditional culture, mothers are regarded as one of the most important relatives, and children should respect and filial to them, not become friends.

Our mothers of the previous generation are still under the influence of Confucian ideology and culture, maintaining people's expectations of mothers, just like Li Suhua, the mother of the Zhou family in "The World", is a traditional and perfect mother figure: selfless, diligent and virtuous, with simple survival wisdom to handle family affairs in an orderly manner, and give their love to each child thoroughly and evenly. The child respects and obeys her, but cannot be friends.

The general improvement of the cultural quality of this generation of mothers and the popularization of the Internet have made them understand and accept the advanced culture of Western countries, making them pay more attention to their children's mental health and growth, and are more willing to invest time and energy in intimate interactions with their children to establish a more positive, equal and open parent-child relationship.

As talk show queen Li Xueqin said when talking about her relationship with her mother: We have a consensus, that is, our mother and daughter, this is our fate, but the two of us are still independent individuals.

 Conclusion  

With the changes of the times, the impact of foreign cultures, the way the younger generation and the previous generation get along with their mothers has changed a lot. The younger generation values individuality and independence and wants more freedom and autonomy. At the same time, they also tend to maintain good communication and interaction with their mothers, seeking their mother's advice and support.

As a mother, if you can get along harmoniously and intimately with your child like a friend, and create a relaxed family atmosphere, this is the happiest thing for your child.

As Zhou Guoping said: Being a child's friend, the child is also willing to regard himself as a friend, is the highest state of parenthood.

Like it and share it, and I wish all moms a Happy Mother's Day!

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