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"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

Last Saturday, my girlfriend suddenly sent me a WeChat message saying, "I almost cried to death today." ”

I was stunned for a moment.

She is a working mother who has only entered the first grade pit this year, a standard hardcore chicken mother, who can go to work during the day to write a plan, and go to Oxford at night, in my heart she is a desperate third lady's existence, why did she suddenly collapse?

She said that she had been arguing with her husband for the past few days, and when she was arguing and coaxing her children to sleep at night, she suddenly became aggrieved and chanted, "It's really not interesting to live." ”

Unexpectedly, my son heard it, sighed and said, "Mom, I don't think it's interesting to live." ”

Hearing her son say this, she was stunned and asked her son, "Why do you think so as a child?" ”

The son suddenly replied with red eyes:

"I can't do anything well every day, and I am told by you about everything, and I always make you angry, so I feel that I have no meaning in living."

After speaking, he began to wipe his tears.

This sentence hit the fragile heart of the old mother at once.

While brushing her tears, she hugged her son and said, "Son, you are great, you are the best child in your mother's heart, you know?" ”

The son nodded silently and did not say anything.

That night, she stayed up all night, so guilty that she couldn't sleep...

My heart will break when I hear this: a 7-year-old child, what a word!

The friend reflected on himself:

In those days, I was in a bad mood, always angry, cold face, her son did not write homework well, she scolded several times, made a mess at home, she also disciplined several times, a little angry, saying that the child said quite heavy.

Unexpectedly, the child did not say anything, but pasted these negative labels to his heart.

After thinking about it that night, she realized that many times, it is we who bully children with their love.

I regret it when I think about it now.

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

I always thought that the anger speaker who said it was unintentional, but it slowly accumulated into a tsunami in the child's heart.

What is even more frightening is that the power of this tsunami is unpredictable.

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

Have you ever labeled your children negatively?

I remember a particularly popular passage before, saying:

The mother's love for a day, from waking up every morning with a full score, and then dropping all the way, to a negative number at night, and then starting to regret it when the baby falls asleep, smelling the feet and kissing the face, and so on.

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

Many mothers said they felt the same way.

Since the children went to school, the children spent more than an hour with us, most of them on the night when the mother's love dropped to negative numbers, what have we said during this period?

"Why are you doing it so slowly!"

"Don't rub it down, okay? Hurry up and write! ”

"None of this! Taught several times, what is the brain thinking! ”

….

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old
"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

We yelled and scolded to finish the day's homework, and chased to let the child go to sleep quickly, and when the child fell asleep, the maternal love that had just been "swallowed" by emotions began to recover, began to feel guilty, and began to vow "I will not talk about the child tomorrow!"

….

But the next day, it started all over again.

It is said that the old mother is too difficult, yes, it is really too difficult, but when our emotions are uncertain, what about the child?

I have seen such a social practice program, a mother and daughter are in a restaurant, because the child's test results are not good, the mother has been reprimanding her:

Why do others know the same question, you won't, what is your brain?

What do you think about every day? Are you the dumbest?

Mom works so hard every day, you really disappoint me so much, you know?

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old
"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old
"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

The girl promised, "Mom, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." ”

Mom didn't want to listen to the call, and the girl silently picked up the roll that had just fallen on the ground and began to correct the wrong question.

An uncle at the next table couldn't stand it, smiled at the girl and said, "Baby, you are not stupid at all, you are very good, you are very good, you have to believe in yourself." ”

But the girl shook her head and said sadly, "But my mother said that I was stupid, my grades were not good, and my mother scolded me every day." ”

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old
"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

After a few words of encouragement, her uncle asked, "Then do you love your mother?" ”

The girl said "love" firmly, but asked rhetorically, "Does mom love me?" ”

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

The uncle also firmly said, "Love you, of course I love you."

"Then why does Mom still talk about me?" The girl then asked.

Uncle thought for a moment and said, "Maybe her way is not right, she wants you to be very good, so she loves you in her way." ”

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

"She loves you the way she does." This sentence really poked me.

I don't know when it started, Mother Kindness, it was conditional.

When we were young, no matter how much we cried and made noise, we all thought our children were cute.

When you grow up, you must study well, you must do your homework well, you must be sensible, you must be obedient, you must work hard, you must be positive... is a good baby for mothers.

We have many conditions, and we have a lot of definitions and standards for good children in our hearts.

But our way is very unique, once the child cannot be satisfied, we will be afraid and anxious, and these anxieties will turn into a roar of hatred and iron, and poke at the child.

Slowly, the child will accept these negative labels and will psychologically suggest to himself: I am not good enough to be loved.

"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old
"What did you think in your heart when you were scolded by your mother?" The real answer of a 7-year-old

Don't we love children?

Love to death.

Love is so much that you can give up all likes, all freedom, but in the end, this love makes children wonder, why?

Because it's so hard to be a mom now.

The environment makes us anxious, comparison makes us anxious, we can't tolerate children's "slow" and "wrong", but think about it, compared to when we were young, they are really tired and great.

So instead of asking children more, we should actually try to adjust ourselves and turn every mistake that children make into an opportunity to learn, rather than turning every mistake into an opportunity to condemn.

As the principal of Golden Sentence said:

The child is here to repay the favor, and many things have long been doomed, so there is no need to force it too much. Educate and grow up with heart, your own children are the best, together!

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