How can women quickly identify PUA tricks and avoid being mind controlled?
From the perspective of enneagram personality, what do women who are easily PUA in marriage have in common?
This article will tell you the answer from the following points:
First, the two brushes commonly used by PUA
Second, feminine characteristics that are susceptible to PUA
Third: How are women who are susceptible to PUA raised?
This article will definitely give you unusual enlightenment. If you have a daughter, it is even more necessary to share this article with her.
This is a clip from the hit TV series "Xiao Min Jia", who is Liu Xiaojie in the play? One-sentence introduction:
Liu Xiaojie: Magazine editor, high education, high value, family like, leadership appreciation, good relationship with colleagues, many suitors.
What is Xu Zheng's means in the play?
In fact, there are only two brushes:
The first brush: in the name of love, emphasize that he is qualified to control Liu Xiaojie
The second brush: self-superiority, emphasizing that Liu Xiaojie is a second-married woman and has the obligation to be grateful to herself
What is this called? Sugar-coated cannonballs and sticks!
When Liu Xiaojie enjoyed seemingly perfect love, he unconsciously gave up his principles.
Xu Zheng's two brushes are PUA, which is coercive control in intimate relationships.
The second problem: feminine characteristics that are susceptible to PUA
Liu Xiaojie, a highly educated high-quality woman, why is she willing to be controlled by Xu Zheng?
Obviously, Liu Xiaojie has always felt Xu Zheng's emotions, agreeing from the bottom of his heart that his conditions are not worthy of him, but ignoring his normal needs.
This mentality, in the Enneagram personality, is an extreme manifestation of the No. 2 giver.
Enneagram 2
The giver is also called the helper
Features: Helping others is fun, understanding others Need recognition Easy to be proud
After reading this introduction, it is estimated that everyone is a little confused, no. 2 gives: helping others, understanding others, is this not an advantage?
However, what many people don't know is that the extreme No. 2 giver is likely to become a pleaser!
On the surface, it is considerate of others, but in fact, it is unprincipled to accommodate others, and in essence, the sense of self-worth is very low, because the self-evaluation system of the flatterer is almost based on the evaluation of others.
Even in order to gain love and praise, the flatterer becomes almost slave-like obedience. Some women, who have escaped from their predicament, still look for reasons for their sick husbands.
The sense of self-worth of the flatterer is extremely low, on the one hand, he is worried about his lack of value, on the other hand, he is easy to be induced by the words of others, and he is more willing to give up the principle and the bottom line for sweet words, which is easy to become the object of puA.
Therefore, too much care about other people's emotions and recognition, low sense of self-worth, this is Liu Xiaojie's marriage pain point.
Unable to recognize oneself or others, having a low sense of self-worth, being misled by lies, and being hurt, this is the tragedy of the fate of the extreme giver.
Therefore, a good girl must remember that your kindness needs to be a little sharp, and it is even more necessary to have an objective understanding of yourself and others.
You may also ask: Why did Liu Xiaojie, who has a high education and high value, become a low-value woman?
This brings us to the third question:
How are women who are susceptible to PUA raised?
Although there is a saying that the lucky people are cured of childhood all their lives, the unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives.
But don't all problems stem from childhood misfortune?
This is a question I would like to leave to you.
I believe that you must have more profound insights, welcome to leave a message to discuss!