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I have heard the saying that a good marriage is a good time and place.
The right fate requires luck, it is not like work, as long as you work hard you can have. For marriage, many people will think that once a woman gets married and has children, she will focus all on the family, and they will be very afraid of divorce. But men are different, as long as the career is successful, they can retire at any time.
However, this is not the case in reality, just like Xu Huanshan in the TV series "Thirty Only", when his extramarital love was discovered by his wife, Gu Jia finally filed for divorce. As a result, Xu Huanshan's emotions completely collapsed, did he still love his wife in his heart?
They had been married for many years, and in Xu Huanshan's view, his wife was too strong, and all love had been consumed. The reason why he is afraid of divorce is only the result of weighing the pros and cons.
Because of the loss of Gu Jia's care, it is difficult for him to live better. However, some women, who can't understand men's minds, think that they are afraid of divorce and must still love themselves.
Stop cheating on yourself, men are more afraid of divorce than women, not because of love, but because of the following three things, very realistic.
01: Worried that after the divorce, no one will take care of themselves and their families
As the saying goes: the family wealth is uneasy, and the foreign wealth is not entered.
Whether a person's marriage is happy or not will affect their career and life. Especially for middle-aged men, they have become accustomed to the care of their lovers. I only need to deal with things at work, because there is a virtuous woman in the family, and I feel very solid inside.
This is also the reason why men are more afraid of divorce than women, not because of love, but because of the fear that after divorce, no one will take care of themselves and their families.
Wu Hao's wife has been married for 12 years and they have two children.
The feelings between husband and wife began to become cold under the precipitation of time. He always hated his wife for being too nagging, and he didn't know how to dress himself, and the fierce love he had once had all disappeared.
They quarreled more and more often, and sometimes even after work, Wu Hao would rather play more games at the company than go home to accompany his wife and children.
When the mood is really very bad, Wu Hao will also find his best friend to complain, and the other party sees that he is so miserable in marriage, so he asks him: "Since they don't love anymore, why don't you divorce him?" ”
Wu Hao said helplessly: "Divorce is easy to say, but what to do with my two children has always been brought by my wife." And my parents, many things in life, but also my wife to take care of, without her really can't do. ”
Men are more afraid of divorce than women, the real reason is not so beautiful, not because of love at all, but because of the loss of their wives, no one can continue to take care of themselves and their families.
02: Fear of being harmed by one's own interests
Lu Weibin in the hit drama "Our Marriage", before marrying his wife Jiang Jing, the economic conditions were already very good, so he asked the other party to sign a prenuptial agreement.
The wife really loves him, does not want to be misunderstood by the people around him, thinks that she is interested in her husband's money to marry him, and does not hesitate to sign.
After getting married, on the surface they seemed to be in love, but in fact, long ago, Lu Weibin no longer loved his wife, but continued to live with her. In order to take care of the family, Jiang Jing became a full-time mother, no matter how much she needed to pay for the family, she was willing.
Because over the years, she has never changed, and she believes that her husband truly loves herself.
However, the reality made her extremely sad. The reason why Lu Weibin did not divorce her immediately was not because of love, but because he was afraid that his interests and economy would be damaged.
At first, Jiang Jing did not know that he had other women outside and rarely checked the post, but then his wife slowly became aware of it. For his own personal interests, Lu Weibin could only make preparations in advance.
If they are really divorced, the property after marriage must be divided in half to his wife, which is something that Lu Weibin is not willing to sacrifice. Therefore, he looks rich on the surface, but some of the shares of the cooperative companies are not in his name. Then, even if the wife fights for her own interests through legal channels, she still gets nothing.
If Jiang Jing can turn a blind eye, Lu Weibin will not divorce her, this is not because of love, everything is just for the sake of interests, very realistic.
03: Fear of not being able to give a complete family to one's children
Between couples, if they find each other's personality inappropriate, or do not love anymore, they can directly say break up. But marriage has more responsibilities to consider and assume, and the decision between husband and wife to end each other's feelings will bring indescribable harm to the child.
Some men, more afraid of divorce than women, are not because of love, but because they are afraid of not being able to give their children a complete family.
Especially boys who grew up in single-parent families, who experienced the loneliness and loss of their parents being separated when they were young, living alone on their own, and their reluctance to have children of their own, also have such sad memories.
Actor Chen Xuedong's parents divorced when he was very young, when his parents could only send him to a boarding school in order to live, when his mother left, Chen Xuedong's heart thought: My parents don't want me anymore.
Even if he later relied on his own efforts, he had a good career and popularity. But for feelings, Chen Xuedong is actually not confident in his heart, he is very afraid that if he is married, but because of the discord between husband and wife, he must go to the point of divorce, then it will bring endless pain to his children.
Therefore, there are some men in life, no matter how bad the couple's feelings are, they will not have the idea of divorce, even if the lover wants to separate, they will try their best to save it.
This persistence is not because of love, but I just don't want my children to grow up in an incomplete family.
For marriage, men are always rational, so women must live soberly. If the problems between each other do not touch the principles and bottom lines, then as long as he is willing to correct them, there is no need to go to the step of divorce.
But if he betrays the marriage many times, no matter how much he shows that he is afraid of losing this feeling, you can't be soft-hearted. Don't be naïve enough to think that he still loves you, and how can a person who really has you in his heart bear the pain of betrayal.
Women who dare to face humanity and reality can better manage their families and their own lives.