[Night Listening] Whether two people are suitable or not is doomed from the beginning

Anchor | Jane Ning The words | shake

The Augmentation of the Sages says:

"Hyakusei Shurai Dofune,Sensei Shurai Co-pillow sleep."

People who love each other in the world want to go from love to marriage in exchange for a lifetime of togetherness.

But from "love at first sight" to "white head and old age", there is a long way to go.

Some people, walking and walking, disperse.

Some people, however, have been out of the earth for a long time and will not abandon them.

Whether two people are suitable or not, in fact, they are doomed from the beginning.

Whether the three views are consistent

Long-term husband and wife, the three views are in harmony.

Not long ago, there was a topic survey on Zhihu:

"What do you value most about your partner?"

Among them, the "three views of the same" actually ranked first, accounting for up to 61%, while economic conditions and academic qualifications ranked in the last two, accounting for 6% and 1% respectively.

In marriage, the three views really have to be compatible.

Remember Gu Jia and Xu Huanshan in "Thirty Only", on the surface, they divorced because Xu Huanshan cheated, but in essence, it was caused by the discord between the three views.

Gu Jia, rational and sober, has a strong sense of purpose, has a plan and ideas for doing things, and is willing to make unremitting efforts to achieve goals.

Xu Huanshan, on the other hand, has no enterprising spirit, does not consider the consequences of doing things, and likes to be emotional.

One is striding hard to reach a higher mountain, the other is not trying to forge ahead;

One has the spirit of struggle, the other is a small rich, that is, stable;

One is constantly improving one's physical, mental, and spiritual cultivation, while the other is greedy for beauty and has no sense of responsibility.

Different three views have produced different attitudes towards life;

Different attitudes will produce different pursuits in life.

The three views are inconsistent and are doomed to go far.

And if you want to make your marriage happy and go long-term, the three views are indispensable.

The word "together" does not mean "same", but refers to tolerance and acceptance.

Before the derailment, Xu Huanshan could cooperate with Gu Jia and fight together, so at that time, the marriage between the two was very happy.

After a small achievement, Xu Huanshan began to swell, unwilling to accept Gu Jia's concept, and the rift in marriage also arose.

Although there is no distinction between high and low in the three views, there are positive and negative points, positive and negative.

The positive three views can lead to the negative, and the positive three views can lead to the negative.

This is why Gu Jia's three views can make life better and better, while Xu Huanshan's three views have made him into a desperate situation.

Therefore, in marriage, the three views can be different, but they must be compatible.

There is a saying on the Internet:

"Getting along with people begins with the five senses and the three views."

Deeply.

A marriage with three views is not tired of getting along and not getting tired of being there for a long time.

Not only can we achieve each other, but we can also make marriage and harmony beautiful.

The marriage of the three views is full of contradictions and quarrels.

Not only will they consume each other, but they will also cause their feelings to perish.

Whether the interests are similar

Long-term couples, like-minded.

The combination of the pianist Lang Lang and his wife Gina, who is also a pianist, makes people can't help but marvel at it: the combination of pearls!

Lang Lang is well known as the Prince of pianos.

Gina came from a musical family, learned the piano at the age of 4, participated in the performance at the age of 8, held a personal piano concert at the age of 15, and also won numerous awards when she grew up, known as a musical wizard.

The same hobby allows the two to meet, know, fall in love, and happily enter the palace of marriage.

After marriage, the two of them went to competitions around the world hand in hand, won awards together, recorded TV shows together...

Every time they appear, the two have ten fingers interlocked, intimate interaction, and the love is overflowing with words.

Couples who are also pianists, because of the same profession and hobbies, not only take care of each other and improve their careers, but also make the marriage more harmonious.

The philosopher Nietzsche once said:

"Married life is a long-term conversation, and when you decide to get married, consider whether you can go to the end with a smile."

Walking into marriage means that in this life, I want to spend it with you.

And like-mindedness means that in our lifetime, there are not only endless interesting things to say, but also interesting things to do.

Like-minded partners, not afraid of the long years.

Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Mr. Yang Dai are also like-minded soul mates.

Both were avid of literature and obsessed with reading, one with a full belly and one with excellent writing.

Before Qian Lao's death, he nicknamed Yang Lao as "the most talented woman and the most virtuous wife".

The two husbands sang and sang, like-minded, and had a happy marriage.

After Elder Qian died, Elder Yang continued their pen and ink and dialogue with words, just as Elder Qian never left.

The same is true of the marriage of Mr. Lin Huiyin and Mr. Liang Sicheng.

Together, they have traveled through the mountains and rivers of the motherland, protected countless valuable ancient buildings together, created the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua University together, and designed our national emblem together.

Such a marriage is as splendid as a flower and radiant.

The Analects has a saying: The Tao is different, and it is not a conspiracy; the intentions are different, and they are not friends.

Dating still requires like-mindedness, let alone a lifetime of husband and wife?

Like-minded, can attract each other, rely on each other, and reflect each other.

Like-minded people, just like the mountains and rivers meet the acquaintances, so that each other know how to cherish and protect.

Whether it is the same frequency resonance

Long-term husband and wife, resonate with the same frequency, and achieve each other.

Mr. Chen Daoming once said:

"Co-cultivation is the highest state of the relationship between husband and wife, and the greatest significance of the marriage between husband and wife is not to eat and dress, have children, but to nourish each other, achieve each other, and improve the level of life."

In marriage, growing up together can resonate with the same frequency and make the marriage more stable.

Friends Xiaowei and his wife, recently because they can not be the same frequency, in the divorce.

The two of them, originally college classmates, worked in different jobs after graduation.

Xiaowei is more attentive in her work, good at learning, excellent performance, a few years later, became the head of the department where the company stood alone, and her income also rose, which was many times the income of her husband, and undertook the heavy responsibility of raising a family.

And her husband, who does not seek progress, has mediocre performance, is accustomed to relying on Xiaowei to make money to support her family, and she plays games when she has nothing to do.

From school to society, in just a few years, the growth of the two people has been very different.

In addition to income, this difference is more reflected in the vision, pattern, problem-solving ability and other aspects.

Gradually, two people's views and cognitions of the same thing are no longer on the same level, and contradictions arise from this.

Xiaowei works hard and wants to give a better life to the family, and her husband says that she is too ambitious;

Xiao Wei went to the gym to exercise, and his husband said that she spent money indiscriminately;

Xiao Wei buys flowers to decorate the home, and his husband says that she is a loser.

Over time, different cognitions make it difficult for them to communicate, and marriage has entered a "dead end".

Xiao Wei said: "A long life, I don't want to go down with a person with a different channel." ”

Yang Lan also said:

"The toughest bond in a marriage is to grow together."

When Jay Chou got married, everyone once thought that Kunling was not worthy of Jay Chou at the "Heavenly King Level".

However, after marrying Jay Chou, Kunling did not choose to live comfortably under jay Chou's wings, but through her own efforts, she quickly grew into an independent woman worthy of Jay Chou.

I went to the audition three days after giving birth, and after only half a month of confinement, I began to train.

On variety shows, open cafes, be hosts, shoot dramas... Constantly improve yourself.

Finally, Kunling successfully stood at the Cannes Film Festival, and at the moment of receiving the award, Jay Chou was like a fan, clapping for his beloved wife offstage.

Long-term marriage, only the same frequency resonance, in order to appreciate each other, in order to make the marriage more solid.

Today, people's impression is that Kunling is no longer a small model without fame, but a veritable "Heavenly King's Sister-in-Law", who has gained a marriage that can resonate with Jay Chou.

Marriage is a city, and if you don't grow together, it is easy to become an empty city.

Only by keeping up with each other's pace and resonating at the same frequency can we create a strong castle.

Haizi said:

"You come to earth, you have to see the sun, and walk the street with the people of your heart."

If you're not married, then you're looking for your sweetheart:

It is best to be in harmony with your three views, so that you will not get tired of looking at each other;

It is best to share your like-mindedness, so that you will be in a happy mood and have a fun life;

It is best to resonate with you at the same frequency, so that you can create your own world side by side.

If you are married, please cherish this hard-won relationship between husband and wife, accept each other, understand each other, and grow each other.

Fit your three views, so that communication is more and more smooth;

Cultivate your common interests and hobbies, and add some sugar to life;

To resonate with the same frequency, to go fast, to pull a slow walk; to walk slowly, to run fast, to catch up with the fast, common progress.

After all, home and harmony can make everything prosperous!

Love is easy, marriage is not easy, both sides must try to get closer to each other, the days will be more and more tasteful.

Click a "watching", the night to hear that everyone can manage the marriage, there is talk and laughter, there is love and love, holding the hand of the son, and the son with the old age.

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