Wen 丨 Ah Jin, Source 丨 Ten Point Book Club (duhaoshu)
Hello, I'm Sister Vian.
Recently, every piece of news about "marriage and divorce" on the Internet is like telling everyone: rich people are not only rich, but also smart.
When the whole network group ridiculed The remarriage of the big S and the 50-year-old Gu Junye, there were Taiwan media exposed that the big S signed a prenuptial agreement.
Declare that the property is all left to their children.
Football superstar David Beckham's son Brooklyn married, and the woman's father is an investment tycoon, who is worth a lot more than the Little Bei family.
Therefore, the woman's family also asked for the signing of a prenuptial agreement.
▲Image source: Weibo
The marriages of modern people are clearly divided.
Even the recent Asian-American talk show actress Huang Ali has made a lot of noise because of her divorce from her "rich" husband.
Her marriage journey was a lesson in risk control education about marriage. Why, exactly? Let's take a look at it today, and I hope to give all women some vigilance and inspiration.
01
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Never put marriage and partner
The only fulcrum of adult life
In the first half of Huang Ali's life, she thought that she would be able to have no worries about food and clothing by marrying the second generation of the rich, but she did not expect to be forced by her in-laws to sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage to ensure that she would not rely on her husband financially after marriage.
Image source: Weibo @ Time Network Mtime
So she did not dare to slack off after marriage, and even during pregnancy, she insisted on talk shows, and only then did she have a career in the sky.
Unexpectedly, she is now divorced, but because of this prenuptial agreement, she has become the biggest winner!
Huang Ali and her husband Justin Baitian met at a wedding, and from a realistic point of view, Justin Baitian is an almost perfect marriage partner.
Tall and handsome, he has been evaluated by fans as Asian Wu Yanzu.
▲Image source: Network
Harvard Business School graduate entrepreneur serves as vice president at goodRx, a multimillion-dollar technology company.
The family also seemed impeccable, and my father was an inventor who was active on the television screen and had a small reputation.
In Huang Ari's words: "Oh my God, I have to soak him." ”
She described how much effort it took her to successfully establish a relationship with the elite male god on Day 5.
▲Image source: Network
Fell in love for 4 years, and finally cultivated the right results.
Before marriage, Huang Ali had fantasized about her life as a rich second-generation wife countless times.
But the life of "marrying into the rich" is completely different from what she thinks.
▲Video screenshot source: network
It turns out that the real rich people, who will let people take advantage of it in vain?
The in-laws asked Huang Ali to sign a prenuptial agreement, which clearly stated that she could not rely on her husband financially.
Dreams about a good life for a wife are shattered.
This agreement made Huang Ali feel frightened, so after getting married, she almost did not dare to stop for a moment.
She said: "That prenuptial agreement really scared me to death. ”
▲Image source: Network
Since 2014, whether it is pregnancy or childbirth, or child care.
Huang Ali did not dare to leave the stage for too long.
Not only did her wife's dreams shatter, but after she got married, she learned that her husband owed $70,000 in foreign debt.
All this urged Huang Ali to fully fire in her career.
She said: "I'm performing here now, to make money to pay off debts. ”
▲Image source: Network
The family house was bought by Huang Ali; the expenses of the family were borne by Huang Ali.
The wound was uncovered for the audience to enjoy, and Huang Ali's performance was a great success.
In just 2 years, Huang Ali has become a popular stand-up comedian.
The ticket price of the show rose from $10 to $1,000 in one fell swoop, and the price soared 100 times.
In her passage, the husband also successfully changed from the business elite before marriage to the husband who wasted firewood after marriage.
Not only does he owe a huge debt, he likes to occupy the toilet at home, and doing housework seems to want his life.
Until the other day, this on-the-table marriage was over.
Huang Ali found that "being forced to sign a prenuptial agreement is one of the most correct things I have done in my life and career."
This ending is ridiculous, but behind it, it is all very scary.
▲Image source: Network
Find a partner who is capable and will make money and get married.
Live a lifetime without worry.
But reality often gives a resounding slap.
The first risk control lesson on marriage is: Never treat marriage and a partner as the only fulcrum of adult life.
02
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Into marriage,
Think clearly about these "three responsibilities"
In Huang Ali's most popular performance, in addition to spitting on her husband.
There is also a lot about "the daily life of women becoming housewives", about "the price of childcare".
Huang Ali's various encounters after marriage are almost very similar to other ordinary women.
About "The Pain of Women in the Workplace".
She said: "Do you think housewives just stay at home?" ”
"Staying at home comes at a cost, it's a job."
▲Image source: Network
Huang Ali did not leave the stage during the pregnancy and did not leave the stage until the due date came.
It didn't take long for the postpartum recovery period to take the stage again.
Both productions, are gritting their teeth like this to survive.
It has to be said that pregnancy and childbirth for mothers can mean losing their jobs.
Huang Ali did not dare to become a housewife at all.
▲Image source: Network
Like ordinary mothers, she suffered tremendous physical pain in the early stages of child-rearing.
Huang Ali said:
"When the children are hungry, they will tear their mother's breasts like bears and remind their mothers, 'You are my canteen.'"
▲Image source: Network
Breastfeeding, which most mothers choose, is even more difficult.
When others think you're on maternity leave at home, moms lie in bed wearing adult diapers.
Endure the severe pain of mastitis and bleeding, and let the child fill his stomach.
On "Motherhood of Women".
Huang Ali said:
"Husbands can be praised as 'good husbands' just by accompanying their wives to a maternity check-up, while women who are 7 months pregnant are called 'bad mothers' just by playing games."
▲Image source: Network
Huang Ali's sharp view of "truth in the world" can always win the resonance of the audience in an instant.
Her talk show condenses the plight of one married and fertile woman after another.
In a self-deprecating way, he pulled away the scenes of women's married lives.
03
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Women must have their own confidence
Huang Ali used the counterattack after marriage to slap the in-laws who forced themselves to sign a prenuptial agreement.
▲Image source: Network
Although the values she said at the beginning about wanting to rely on the life of a rich second-generation husband are not recognized.
But from an objective point of view, she herself has always maintained her independence and sobriety.
But the ordinary women who choose to become housewives from the beginning and live dependent on their husbands are not necessarily as lucky as Huang Ali.
Once a reader A sent a long private message, which she agreed to share with everyone.
A and her husband were married for 5 years, and in the first year after marriage, she became pregnant with her eldest son, and her husband asked her to quit her job to become a full-time housewife.
A hesitated and agreed.
On the one hand, the husband is a middle-level central enterprise, with a stable job and a considerable income.
On the other hand, A and her husband are in a campus romance. She has great confidence in their feelings and in her husband's character.
But the ending is that after the second child, she found out that her husband had cheated.
She was shocked and desperate, "my heart was racing and my hands were shaking."
She asked, "What should I do?" ”
The house they lived in Beijing was bought by their husband before marriage.
Of the two cars in her name, one of which was in her name, was also bought by her husband with a loan.
She has been pregnant for 4 years now, almost out of touch with society.
If there is a showdown with the husband, the best result is that the husband will change his mind and correct the mistake.
The worst result is that the husband will divorce and the custody of the two children will most likely belong to the husband.
At this time, she became the weakest and most passive person in the whole family.
A 4-year housewife's life will not only deprive women of their social and personal lives.
What's even more frightening is that they lose the ability to make money and the ability to withstand the risks of marriage.
04
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Why is It said that Huang Ali's marriage has taught everyone a risk control education lesson.
As her father said to her, "Fear is your gift." ”
In the 8 years after marriage, she did not dare to leave the stage, even if she was pregnant.
▲Image source: Network
She dreams of pondering the passages, repeatedly performing and polishing the content.
In the days when she made breakfast for the whole family every day, she did not stop thinking about her work for a moment.
Some people may feel that women have to take care of their families and make good money.
Is this to exhaust them?
Such a mood is very understandable.
But it can only be said that in all aspects of life, cognitive risk represents a survival skill.
Anyone who willingly enters into marriage should understand:
Marriage is not a safe haven, the partner is not a seat belt, and preparing for the worst and the best preparation for your life is a sure thing to make.
On your own, you'll also have a nice comeback fight!