"Full-time mother, is it willing to be fed, or is it a helpless move?"
Hugo once said: "Although women are fragile, mothers are strong." ”
When a woman becomes a mother, she becomes a warm haven for her children, guarding them to thrive.
But when the word "mom" is preceded by a "full-time",
When being a mother becomes a "profession",
How much hardship and suffering is hidden in this, and who understands?
01
Shame, shame on having children at home?
"Our Marriage" has recently been a hit.
In the play, Shen Yanxing, a full-time mother played by Bai Baihe, is a high-achieving student at a prestigious university. When she graduated, she chose to enter marriage.
When asked: Husband and wife who should be a stay-at-home mom or dad?
Shen Believes that the reason she became a "stay-at-home mother" is "because I do better."
But the words of others stung her, "If a man is at home every day with children, how shameful is it?" ”
The problem is that some people in today's society think that:
"Men are ashamed to bring children, and women are righteous to bring children."
Weird!
Image source: The official Weibo of the TV series "Our Marriage"
Shen Yanxing asked her husband that night, if her husband was a full-time father at home and she went out to work, would the other party be willing?
The husband's first reaction was, "Willing, how easy it is to eat soft rice!" ”
Screenshot of the plot of the TV series "Our Marriage"
Subsequently, her husband also praised her for running the family.
Although, Shen Yanxing knew that her husband's words were just jokes. But it can also be seen that most men have an attitude towards stay-at-home mothers.
If the effort is not recognized, it will produce the fallacy of "shame".
Please admit: take care of the healthy growth of children, take care of the family in an orderly manner, cook sweet and delicious meals, honor your parents and be thoughtful...
Such a stay-at-home mother is no less humiliating than any professional.
02
How far is economic independence?
In "Our Marriage", there is another story that is very touching.
Stay-at-home mother Jiang Jing "accidentally" twisted her foot while practicing Pilates. Shen Yanxing took the other party to the hospital, and the doctor said that the injury was not serious, and there was no need to worry too much.
But Jiang Jing insisted on putting a plaster cast.
On the way back, Shen Yanxing inexplicably asked the other party about his intentions in doing so. Jiang Jing said that the child will go abroad to participate in activities after a while, and she hopes that parents can accompany the child instead of herself.
Shen Yanxing was even more puzzled: What does this have to do with plaster casts? Why can't I talk to my husband directly?
Jiang Jing explained: "The money spent on children is better to say, if it is spent on yourself, then you have to find some excuses, if you spend the money on the mother's family, it is almost the same as the beggar who reaches out for money." ”
In South Korea, someone has created a new term - "mother worm".
"Mom Worm" consists of English "mom" + Korean "worm". Because in Korea, insects mean inferior animals.
The term is now used to disparage stay-at-home moms who have no income, rely exclusively on their husbands, and are home with children.
In the Korean best-selling book "Kim Ji-young in '82", there is such a scene depicted:
Jin Zhiying took the child to rest in the park, and after the child was asleep, she sat on a bench and slowly enjoyed a cup of coffee, but she heard the office worker next to her whispering, "I also want to use the money earned by my husband to buy coffee to drink, hang around all day... 'Mother worm' is really good ..."
Jin Zhiying did not expect that he would gamble his life to give birth to a child, and even give up his job, dreams and everything else, in exchange for such a description among the people on the sidelines.
She angrily shouted at her husband: "Am I not even qualified to drink a cup of 1500 yuan (about 8 yuan) coffee?" ”
Some people say that economic independence can be independent in personality.
Stay-at-home moms have become people who "reach out for money" because they don't have an income.
But they also pay hard work, why is it expensive to hire a nanny, but a stay-at-home mother has to pay for free?
Giving stay-at-home mothers the work they deserve can alleviate their anxiety and make them more comfortable engaged in this "profession".
Let "full-time" be no longer just a modifier.
03
Returning to the workplace is a long and difficult road
Some people may think that waiting until the day of "paying" to stay-at-home mothers is too far away.
If you want financial independence, you still have to go out and work.
Then, she will face a new dilemma.
You may not know how hard it is for stay-at-home moms to get back into the workforce these days.
Although Shen Yanxing graduated from a prestigious university, because he got married too early and had no work experience, it was even more difficult to work.
She knew that the 6-year gap had made herself uncompetitive in the workplace, so she lowered her requirements and wanted to start with an intern, but such a position did not consider her.
Shen Yanxing ran into a wall in her job search, and she didn't understand why she couldn't even apply for an intern.
At this time, a friend's words woke her up: in the eyes of employers, stay-at-home mothers already have choices in work and family, and women who choose families will be tacitly acquiesced in work and will not go all out.
With such a label, stay-at-home mothers are struggling to move forward on the thorny road of job search.
Who understands their difficulties?
Despite this, despite all kinds of difficulties, there are still many women who are still willing to devote themselves to the ranks of stay-at-home mothers for the sake of their families and children.
How to make their efforts not to be ignored, how to let everyone give them a warm eye...
This is a task that families and society need to accomplish together.
(Source: China News Network Author: Wang Shiyao)