Text/Dahui
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Any relationship in this world needs to be carefully maintained, do not rely on the relationship between each other so that it is not carefully maintained, in the end can only let a relationship be destroyed, from this bridge to the bridge to the road, not to communicate with each other.
Many times when we get along with strangers, we can grasp the measure and boundaries, can pay attention to the scale of getting along, and can maintain the greatest decency when etiquette is exchanged, the more we face people who are close, but we will forget those basic interpersonal standards, get along too casually, completely disregard each other's feelings, and finally the two sides are very unhappy.
The relationship between relatives is often very fragile, and if you are not careful, you may break the relationship, and many times you can not realize at what time you have offended a relative.
When getting along with relatives, you also need to pay attention to measure and boundaries, and you need to maintain the principles of getting along with outsiders in order to make the relationship go smoothly.
The more relatives, the more you need to "see outside", and you should not take many things for granted, so that others will only alienate yourself from you in the bottom of your heart, and will also hurt your family affection.
Many relatives, because they ignore the basic boundaries, finally form a vendetta, and examples of those relatives turning against each other in life abound.
They are all adults, getting along with people, considering everything more, and keeping more eyes to save a relationship.
Keep an eye on it when you speak, and don't say anything
More words will be lost, more words will hurt people, and the gentleman will keep his mouth shut. It takes us three years to learn to speak, but it takes a long, long time to learn to shut up.
Rather than opening one's mouth unbridledly, knowing how to be silent is one's top emotional intelligence.
When getting along with relatives, many people are fighting for the relationship of elders, they do not care about proportions when speaking, and some words are always blurted out at will, only caring about their own happiness, but they do not consider the feelings of others at all, and are disliked by others without knowing it.
Su Wangdi in "Heart Residence" is such a person, she speaks without any cover, has no eyes at all, just blindly shows off and compares, says some indiscriminate words, counts her words at every family gathering, and what she says is still some unheard, resulting in everyone complaining about her and successfully destroying the atmosphere during the dinner.
In the face of other people's family affairs mixed too much, not being welcomed, taking the turn of their own family affairs, full of desire to show off gushed out, coming and going, completely outlining a mean image of a good thing.
No matter how good the relationship, it is also necessary to leave a measure under the mouth, learn to shut up in the face of other people's family affairs, and it is their turn to put away their desire to show off, not to compare too much.
In addition to putting away the show off, in the face of privacy matters, we must also learn to be silent, and do not completely expose everything. You never know what kind of attitude others have towards your private affairs, you tell others because you trust, but they either listen to them as jokes, or turn around and tell them to others, and some words should not be said easily, which will hurt your relationship.
Keep an eye on money, and your brothers should also settle accounts
The comparison between relatives can not be ignored, do not think how deep your relationship is, so that you feel that the other party will definitely want you to be good, but in fact, many times you think that the good is just what you think.
There is a point of view, I think everyone has listened to countless times, that is, "those who do not see you well are often the closest people around", and relatives are inevitable. No one really wants you to be, and many relationships are far less indestructible than we think.
There are many relationships, in fact, are ruined on money, people have such a mentality, do not suffer from widowhood and suffer from unevenness, when the days are poor, help each other, enjoy and harmonize, there will be no selfish distractions, the heart is tightly tied together, the distance is the closest.
Once someone has a good life between relatives and the gap between rich and poor is widened, there will be a mustard between each other, and the relationship will be difficult to return to the past.
Between relatives, it is best not to have money exchanges. Moving around in ordinary days is indispensable, but the money aspect still has to be relatively clear, and the most taboo is that two people are entangled in money, and in the end, they will only make each other have a grudge.
Some people will take the help between relatives as a matter of course, they feel that since they are relatives, they have difficulties and others should help each other, if they do not help, they will complain about him, when the other party helps out of affection, they are not willing to return, and they can drag on. If the other party's family is relatively wealthy, you will feel that you have so much money to help me, and after having such a thought, it is difficult to get along harmoniously.
If relatives do business together, it is even more important to divide the money clearly, Ding is Ding is Ding, the brothers are clear, this is not indifference, but sober, put a lot of things on the surface, is the greatest preservation of this relationship.
Many things can be vague and can be confused, but in the money to have multiple eyes, the money that should be repaid should not be relied on, and the accounts that should be calculated should be clear, which is good for each other.
Keep an eye on the etiquette when you come and go, and don't show your wealth or take advantage of others
We all live in a country where people are in love, and we pay great attention to etiquette and exchanges, whether it is walking around on weekdays, visiting relatives and friends during the New Year, or having something to ask for on weekdays, these are exquisite and need special attention.
Any relationship needs to follow the principle of courtesy and reciprocity, and it needs to pay two phases, and there are exchanges and exchanges, so that a relationship can be carried out smoothly.
If only one party is paying, and the other party is always withholding and searching, then sooner or later it will collapse. Relatives also need to uphold this principle, without exception.
The basis of etiquette and exchange must be to uphold the principle of basic equality, and there can be no big difference. For example, when I have a birthday, you buy me a cake, and when you have a birthday, I will also return one to you, which can be of different styles, but the price is similar.
Whether it is gift-giving or the pressure of money during the New Year, it is necessary to follow the principle of reciprocity, no matter how big the gap in your family situation is, whether it is rich or poor, the number of gifts should not be less, nor can it be too out of line, and it needs to be maintained at a similar level with everyone, otherwise it is easy to attract criticism.
Get along with relatives, don't show wealth, even if you have money, you must also take into account the feelings of others, do not look at yourself as high, a domineering look, do not look down on them. Even if you are embarrassed, don't take advantage of others, come and go without being rude, even if you are poor, don't be looked down upon, and the number of etiquette you should have cannot be less.
Many times, the more intimate the relationship, the more it is necessary to maintain a certain scale and follow certain principles, otherwise it is easy to hurt a relationship and make the relationship break.
Get along with relatives, don't think that you are relatives can have no scruples, some words absolutely can not be said, some things can not be done resolutely, everything to keep an eye, this is not indifferent, but sober.
Adhering to the above three scales is the best preservation of family affection, don't be careless.