He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
What is it like to be looked down upon by relatives?
A post I saw on the Internet came to mind.
The boy said: Since he was a child, his family has been looked down upon by several uncles and uncles, and even his grandparents have looked down on his father.
His father was honest and could only do his job and did not make much money; Later, because her mother could not bear to be ostracized by a large family, she chose to divorce.
After he was in middle school, it was his father who took him alone and educated him.
This situation, which was despised by a large family, did not change until he was admitted to the civil service after graduating from university.
Before that, every year there was something in the family, his family was never considered.
Good things are ignored and not remembered; The bad things didn't fall, and they all wanted to let his family come forward.
When he was successful in his studies and had a good career, the faces of those people changed to another posture.
Sometimes you will find:
Even your siblings, even your parents and family, will look down on you.
What are the manifestations when relatives around you look down on you?
-01
Always "ignore you" and your family
Psychology believes that deep in everyone's heart, there is a desire for recognition, praise and attention from the outside world.
For example:
As families get along, parents want to get the child's thanks and gratitude, and the child wants to be praised and recognized by the parents.
Lovers get along, the husband wants to be adored by his wife, and the wife wants to be appreciated by her husband.
In social relationships, you want your words to be valued, and the other person also wants to be noticed.
Being noticed, recognized, and accepted is the most basic need in everyone's heart.
When our needs are ignored, it makes us feel frustrated and sad.
When relatives get along, if they look down on you or your family, they will ignore you.
For example:
A large family is gathered together, obviously your family lives not far away, but no one invites your family to eat together.
Obviously you are siblings, they make an appointment to go home together to visit their parents, and a group of people gather to eat, but ignore your family.
What does this say?
Another manifestation of neglect is: "people speak softly".
What you say is never taken seriously, even if you are right.
Why? Because they think that you have no ability and no resources, so your words cannot be trusted.
Even if believable, these words cannot come out of your mouth.
-02
Not knowing how to respect you and your family
In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, respect for needs is a high-level need of people.
People's most basic needs are: survival needs, life needs, emotional needs.
And after satisfying this, we long for the respect needs of the outside world.
What does it look like to be respected with relatives?
When you speak, everyone is willing to listen;
The opinions you share, everyone will accept to varying degrees, and even if they do not accept, they will not refute you;
When you need help, relatives who can help often do not hesitate.
When your family encounters a problem, everyone is also unambiguous and comes forward as soon as possible.
And what are the manifestations when relatives do not respect you?
What you and your family say is never respected;
In the crowd, they always target your home, work against you, or ignore you;
When your family has a problem, not only will they not come forward to help, but they will fall into the well and say something cool.
-03
There is always "unfair treatment" towards you and your family
See a post:
The man took his wife and children back to his hometown for the New Year, and he also had two older brothers and an older sister.
And his sister gave 400 yuan in red envelopes to each of the children of the two eldest brothers; When he arrived at his family, he only gave 100 yuan in red envelopes.
His wife was so angry that she couldn't do it, but it was inconvenient to say anything, just to make the child refuse to accept anyone's red envelopes.
And this matter, the man's parents looked at it, and still didn't say anything.
What's even more excessive?
Even the man's parents have obvious partiality.
See the last only way to find:
It turned out that there were several brothers and sisters, and his family mixed poorly.
Both older brothers opened factories, one sister married a rich family, only he and his wife were ordinary office workers.
Whether it is a brother or sister, or a distant relative, when the other party looks down on you, you can clearly detect it.
In fact, blood ties are nothing more than a "bond" that doesn't even get along well or even as useful as your neighbors or friends.
The older you get, the more you understand:
When you have money, ability, and a certain social status, even distant relatives will also coerce you;
And when you have nothing, even your parents, siblings will not look down on you.
That's human nature.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever been looked down upon by your relatives?
(Article with picture source network)